Presentation Week Part 1: Laying the Groundwork

[This week I've decided I want to write about presentation. The audience for these thoughts can be categorized as "very small" and "probably not you." Come back next week for the usual fat jokes and such. In the meantime, Craig Petty just linked to a new "web show" on the Magic Cafe with a threat in the title that it is "Season 1 Episode 1." That's probably more your speed.]

I'm more comfortable talking shit about the Magic Cafe or making fun of some stooge magician than I am talking about my actual thoughts on magic, effects, presentations, etc. There are a number of reasons for this, but the main one is I just don't think there's much of an audience for it. I am not interested in performing stage magic, or restaurant magic, or street magic -- or those types of performances, which seems to be what people want to read when it comes to performance theory. I'm pretty much only interested in magic that is performed in casual situations for a handful of people at most. Preferably one-on-one. And for those situations, 98% of the theory you read in magic books is wrong or at least not applicable.

I wrote a book called The Amateur At the Kitchen Table a few years ago. I wrote it for the purpose of clarifying my own thoughts. It was my philosophy on the performance of informal magic that was illustrated through a couple dozen presentations. I had thought about publishing it at one point but then I got selfish. You see, I actually like that so many of you are so bad at performing for people. I think it's great that some of the people we consider the best in our field are completely off-putting and have no appeal to real humans. We like them because they're clever or dexterous, but they have no concept of how to channel that in a way that people like. The last thing I want is for people to get better at something I believe sets me apart. So I shelved the idea of publishing the book (although I did sell two copies for an exorbitant price I couldn't refuse.)

"Who are you to give advice? Why should I listen to you?"

I couldn't give less of a shit if you do. Really. Keep doing what you're doing. 

Most of the advice on showing magic to people is predicated on a professional performance, which is great if you're at the Magic Castle, but you're not at the Magic Castle and shouldn't be acting like you are. Performing like that has a distancing effect between you and the people you're trying to engage. It's analogous to being funny. A witty guy at a party will win friends and get laid. But if you stand up and start reciting jokes you memorized from a joke book, people will be like, "What a weirdo." Even if they're laughing at the jokes.

The goal is -- in a non-corny way -- to make the effect of magic as much a part of your being as the effect of humor is for the funny person. And I'll talk more about how I think you can do this as the week goes on.

"So we should try to project an image of possessing true magic or mentalism abilities?"

No. Fuck no. If you want people to think what you're doing is real, you're a sociopath. Seriously, I think that's a pathetic mental disorder and I feel bad for you and worse for the people you perform for. And it's a poisonous attitude that has held back magic for centuries. If coming off as "real" is a priority for you, then what you're saying is, "I want to dupe dumb people and look ridiculous to smart people."

My goal is never to have them believe. My goal is to have them intrigued and enraptured and swept up in the moment, despite knowing it's not real. 

What makes a trompe-l'œil painting engaging is that it seems so real, even though we know it's not. I strive to perform trompe-l'œil of the fantastic. And what I've found is when people don't have their defenses up against your phony bullshit of trying to come off as "real," it becomes much easier to create feelings of amazement, joy, fear, lust, nostalgia, and poignancy that are real.

Tomorrow: The Jerx Patter Algorithm

Try To Keep Up, Ya Stupids

I get a number of emails asking me to explain things about this site or my posts. For this one time I will address them. But that's not going to happen going forward, so step it up. If you don't get the references (pop culture or magic), inside jokes with people who have emailed me, jokes that are based on a thought I once had and never shared with anybody, callbacks to jokes I made 10 years ago on a site that you probably didn't read back then and has since been deleted and now can only partially be read on the internet archive, then tough. This site is like MST3K in that way. You're not meant to get everything. 

But for one time only, I will educate the children and the dummies. (Smarties, I'll see you tomorrow.)

  • The site is called The Jerx because I ran a site called The Magic Circle Jerk and because of a famous magic/mentalism magazine called The Jinx that was produced by Theodore Annemann. Believe it or not, there are a not-negligible amount of people who didn't get that. I was going to name the site Annemann's Oven, with the sub-heading "See What's Cooking In Annemann's Oven," because I heard he killed himself by sucking in the gas from his oven. But Annemann is too hard to spell, and it didn't quite show the level of respect I have for him which is genuinely enormous. He is probably one of my top three favorite people in the history of this art.
  • The site artwork is a reference to the Jinx as well.
  • The "Pop!" post was simply a corollary to the "Poof!" post on MCJ. What you thought was a vanish was actually a transposition/transformation. 10 years ago it went poof, and now it pops back into existence.
  • On the mysextutor.com site, the second video is a bunch of revelations for traditional mentalism forces:
    1. The 37 force
    2. The triangle/circle force
    3. The 1089 force
    4. The grey elephant in Denmark force
  • Californium 252 is a radioactive metallic chemical that cost $27 million per gram and only 8 grams have ever been produced.
  • An Orgone Box is a box that captures the healing power of orgasms and cures cancer or something.
  • "Fisting" is the act of putting your fist into someone's vagina or asshole. 
  • To "86" something in the restaurant world means to stop selling something/take it off the menu (usually just for the evening).
  • MST3K is Mystery Science Theater 3000, a show about a guy in space who makes fun of movies with robots he built. There are a lot logic and plot holes in the conceit of the show that you should really just chill out about.
  • That last bullet-point was a reference to the the theme song to Mystery Science Theater 3000.

86 the Chef's Special

What the hell happened to the Guest of Honor/Chef's Special area of the Cafe? I have not been paying attention, and apparently no one else has either because that place is a desolate wasteland. Remember when they had Derren Brown and David Williamson and people like that? This was back in 2003-2005 when I was keeping that place relevant with MCJ. Well, Brooksy, I apologize. I'm going to do what I can to inject some life into your site, but it might be too far gone now. Seriously, the slide in quality is stunning. I can't even think of something analogous. It would be as if you ran a site devoted to super heroes and one year you're interviewing Batman and Captain America, then 5 years later you're interviewing The Wonder Twins in the form of a bucket of water and a raccoon, and then 5 years after that you're interviewing an actual bucket of water and a raccoon.

Steve, you know nothing is stopping you from just canning that section right? Put it out of it's misery. Actually, make me the Guest of Honor for a week, and then put it down.

The best thing to almost happen during one of these Chef Special weeks was when Tyler Wilson was the guest in 2010. Below is a transcript of emails between Tyler and I as we planned a revelation that never came to be.

June 28th, 2010 - Tyler Wilson to MCJ

'Sup, sexy?

I have officially sold what was left of my atheist soul by agreeing to be the special guest on the Cafe. Yes, you read that right. I won't make excuses; I just released a book and now I need to sell a shitload of them. But none of that changes the fact that I will gladly shit on the hand that feeds me.

Soooooo...

Any ideas for how I can spice up the week a little bit? I don't mind being the first V.I.P. to not make it the full week before getting kicked off.

July 6th, 2010 - MCJ to Tyler Wilson

Hey there babydoll.

What a surprise. I was just at the Cafe and saw that you were going to be the “Chef Special for July.” I came here to bust your balls and I see that you have made a pre-emptive defense. But there is no need. I think it’s perfectly reasonable to utilize the café to shill your stuff. That place isn’t nearly as annoying as it was when I started my site 7(holy fuck) years ago. Or at least Steve Brooks is less-so because he’s not as visible (except from space – bing bong FAT JOKES!). But there’s still enough other screwballs on that site. 

I'll try to come up with some shenanigans for your tenure there, but I’m out of practice. I wonder if Brooks knows you used a quote from my site on the book-jacket of your first book? Well, David Regal uses my review on his site and he seems to be welcome there. So you should be fine.

 Good luck with the book. I will be ordering my copy soon.

July 21st, 2010 - Tyler Wilson to MCJ

Hey You,
If you want to see your name on the Cafe and a mild attack on their do-no-wrong poster boy, Scott Guinn, check out these threads before they're gone:

http://www.themagiccafe.com/forums/viewtopic.php?topic=372710&forum=285&5&start=0#4

http://www.themagiccafe.com/forums/viewtopic.php?topic=372920&forum=285&5

They're subtle, but I can see town from here, and I'm more than willing to go to it.

July 21st, 2010 - MCJ to Tyler Wilson

Nice. I think maybe it's time for you to make a post where you confess to being the author of the Magic Circle Jerk blog. I mean, if you really want to get the boot before you go. You can go on and on about how terrible you feel and make it super apologetic and full of shit like, "I was young and thought that stuff was funny and I was trying to get people to like me." Then write something like, "Perhaps the worst thing I did in my time writing that hateful blog was hold a contest where I encouraged people to write erotic fan fiction about the staff of the Magic Cafe in exchange for a set of Todd Lassen gimmicked coins that he had donated. Just so you have some idea how awful that blog was, here was one of the submissions," And then I'll find the most vile of the submissions and you can post it there, or link to it somewhere.

July 21st, 2010 - Tyler Wilson to MCJ

Hey Cutie,

Let's do it up!

I hope you realize I'm going to have a LOT of explaining to do! Not to the Cafe, I couldn't give two shits. But to my friends. I have been accused of being the MCJ on numerous occasions. When I point out that you are a) funny as fuck, and b) disturbingly brilliant, they quickly realize that it couldn't be me. So I might as well start writing a form email letter right now.

I'm out of my house right now, so I wouldn't be able to post it until I get home later tonight, so as long as they haven't closed the forums by then (today's the last day), I'll put it up right away.

Shit, I can't wait to see how this whole thing turns out!

Thanks, whoever the fuck you are.

[Ed. Note: At that point I sent Tyler a copy of the story Ipecac by Jason Wethington about a Cafe staff gangbang.]

July 22nd, 2010 - Tyler Wilson to MCJ

Oh man, I am so choked. They closed the forums down super early yesterday. I got home at 10:00pm, but they had locked them down hours earlier. Fuck! I was soooooo looking forward to dropping that bomb all night long. I was fuckin' ancy, and I don't get ancy. [Ed. Note: I think this dumb-dumb meant "antsy."]

Man, I'm so sorry all of that was for nothing. I missed my shot. I hope Jason's erotica will one day see publication (the next Twilight?!), but until then, I let it slip through my fingers.

You deserve better. I'm going to go pull a Hutchence/Carradine.

__________________________________________________

So, sadly that never came to pass. But if it had I may not have started up this site again. Especially if Brooksy didn't delete Tyler's revelation. I would have let that be the end of the story. 

So all's for the best in this best of all possible worlds.

Free Magic Giveaway - EVP by Alan Rorrison

Good news:

One of the mainstays of the old Magic Circle Jerk site was giving away magic. I would buy prizes, friends would give me things, magicians, dealers, and artists like Todd Lassen would donate goods for me to give away to lucky readers for winning dumb contests like guessing how much Doug Conn weighs or writing the most disturbing Magic Cafe related erotic fiction. Good wholesome fun for the whole family. 

Well, a friend of the Jerx has donated a brand new, unopened EVP by Alan Rorrison that I am going to give away. If you don't know about EVP, here you go. I think it's a genuinely freaky effect. I'm not sure I would ever perform it, because aren't ghosts super spooky? I'm not sure if I've mentioned that, but I get all scurred when the subject of ghosts come up. They're our dead relatives guys!!! Not something to be the subject of fun magic! So here is how I would probably use this gimmick. I'm pretty sure it can be used this way, but I don't own it so I don't really know. (Scroll down to where it says "Better News" if you just want to know how to win.)

(For this effect and for future reference, all my performance ideas, unless otherwise noted, take place in a casual situation, ideally one-on-one, on a couch, with a female (or whatever you're into), pre-coitus.)

  • Have her think of something and then reveal it using whatever method you like.
  • Say, "Can I tell you a secret? Look, you can't mention this to anyone because it's kind of the foundation of mindreading. I didn't read your mind just then. You read mine. I'm serious. When you thought of the candle, you did it because I sent that thought to your mind and you picked up on. This is how almost all of these types of tricks work. It's nearly impossible to pull a thought from someone's mind because we spend almost every waking moment guarding those thoughts and only letting specific ones out to the world by what we say or do. But at the same time, you're constantly trying to pick up on what other people are thinking. You're scanning everything to try and find out what's really going on behind the eyes of your friends, bosses, lovers, etc. So it's much easier for me to give you something you want rather than take something from you that your natural inclination is to hide. So I send you the thought, 'think of the candle.' You pick up on that and end up thinking of that. Then I tell you what you're thinking... the thought I told you to think. Simple! The only mindreading going on was all done by you. It's actually pretty easy once you get good at being open with your thoughts. That's the hard part on my end; letting down my guard."
  • "But at this point I'm pretty good at it. Especially because we're both here together, in the same room, we can see each other's faces, touch each other, easily hear the tone of each other's voices. And it doesn't hurt that you're naturally so smart and perceptive. That makes it relatively simple to send you my thoughts. What I'm working on now is trying to do it with someone who's not here. And that's next to impossible. Do you want to try it?"
  • Ask her to bring out her phone and pick one of her contacts. Tell her to choose someone she thinks might be good for this. Maybe a relative or a close-friend.
  • Now force something on your spectator (whatever you're set up to reveal via EVP). Or don't force it. Just pull a ceramic turtle off a bookshelf or something. "This is the thought I'll try and send her." 
  • You use your spectator's phone to call her friend. And you have your spectator film this whole thing on your phone.
  • You and your spectator explain what's going on to her friend. You say, "Okay, Suzanne, in a moment I'm going to try and send you a thought. Just try and remember anything you hear. It might sound garbled or might sound a little faint like it's just in the back of your head somewhere. But just be open and try and hear it."
  • You sit there silently for a few moments.
  • "Yeah, I don't have a great feeling about this. Suzanne, do you know what we're thinking of here?"
  • Suzanne says, "It's a turtle."
  • Your friend freaks the fuck out and asks Suzanne how she knew that. 
  • Suzanne says, "What do you mean? I heard him say, 'It's a turtle.'" Your friend says, "He never said that. I swear." Suzanne doesn't believe it. So you say goodbye to Suzanne and have your friend send her the video she's been taking from your phone.
  • Your friend's mind is blown. Perhaps half-way across the country Suzanne is now getting the video on her phone that shows the conversation and shows you sitting with your eyes and mouth closed at the exact moment she would have sworn you had said, "It's a turtle." Her mind is now blown too.
  • You've made a great impression on your friend and someone very close to her.
  • Coitus.

Better News

My grandma is deathly ill and I've been given power of attorney over her finances. This old bag is loaded, and I just cleared out her account. 28 million dollars. Finally... FINALLY... I have the money I need to produce my magnum opus: The Magic Cafe: The Movie. It's going to be amazing. It's going to document the formative years of the cafe. I have got some inside dirt on it, and it's just the most amazing story. It's all drugs and violence and fucking and sucking -- every sick twisted thing you can imagine. Not only that but I'm investing a ton of money into a smell-o-vision technology for the film. Whenever Steve Brooks is fucking on screen (and in my first draft this happens 16 times), the theater will be infused with what an insider has told me is a true-to-life scent for this scenario. (We're mimicking it by pumping in the smell from a vat of rotten Moo-Shu Pork.)

Here's where I need your help, and here's how you win the EVP. I'd like your thoughts on casting. Here is the Cafe staff circa 2003. These are the roles we need to cast. So what I need from you is to suggest what actors should play those roles. Send your casting suggestions to me in an email. You can make a suggestion for one staff member or for all of them. I will be taking submissions until June 10th. If I use one of your suggestions you will receive an entry to win the EVP. So the more suggestions you make, the better chance you have. I am not limiting this to well-known actors, but if you have an unknown, make sure you link me to his IMDB page or something so I know who you're talking about.

Have fun.

This Really Burns My Ass

Listen, I get it that independent invention happens, and that when people fail to do their due diligence they often end up releasing something that someone else has been doing for ages, but I don't think that's what happened here. I think I've been straight-up ripped off.

Andi Gladwin alerted me to this effect that Dominique Duvivier has tried to claim as his own.

Uhm... excuse me?

Dominique, you know this is mine. Oh my god... I'm so fucking frustrated I can hardly write this post. 

Sorry, It's just that I'm kind of known for this effect. I've spent years perfecting it. This is such a powerful effect. It really gets the audience to sit-up and take notice. 

I was working with Dan and Dave and the guys from Brazzers to come up with a whole limited edition set devoted to this. But now it's like, why even bother? Not that I think Dominique has even come close to examining this plot the way I have.

A lot of people think it's just a one-on-one effect, or only good for a webcam or something, but I have versions I do for 500 people (in my Tijuana stage show).

I can do it impromptu. People often ask of a trick, "Can you do that naked on a beach?" Uhm, yeah, I can. It's probably easier that way to be honest. 

It packs small but plays big.

I have a great presentation for Christian magicians about how you have to relax and just allow the Holy Spirit to get inside you; don't fight it.

This is what Michael Close would call a "worker," what Greg Wilson would refer to as my "1000 timer."

I even have a version where the spectator gets to become the magician.

I know a guy who got a tv special just by performing this for the head of the network. (And taking pictures and threatening to send them to his wife.)

Sometimes I combine it with an Axtell bird arm illusion for a fun bit of puppetry.

It's probably the best opener there is.

Okay, that's it, I'm not going to let this blatant act of thievery prevent me from performing my signature trick. I will release this, and you guys are going to love it. It gets the best reactions. Sometimes it gets screams, but other times it just gets stunned silence. But either way, the look of surprise on people's faces is priceless. 

My Disclaimer

I don't follow these sorts of things too closely, but apparently a magician went up against a dog in Britain to see who was the most talented or something? Well, the dog won. And now he gets a vote in parliament, if I'm understanding things correctly? (Black Mirror, season 3)

Meanwhile the magician did the bill in lemon and got busted for the big gaping hole in his lemon. That's too bad. However, I applaud him for using such a unique, personal piece as bill in lemon in order to try and win this huge competition. What a bold, brave decision. What says creative and original more than putting a bill in a lemon? And talk about emotionally resonant for the audience! We don't perform the bill in lemon because it's easy to jab a bill in a lemon and there are a bunch of jokes floating around for the effect and it's a guaranteed way to burn 10 minutes. We perform it because of how the audience connects to it. What person hasn't held a $100 bill and secretly wished it was in some citrus fruit instead? That's one of those desires that is almost instinctive. You see it pop up in every culture. And that's why we perform that completely non-arbitrary effect.

But I have to be honest, I'm a little afraid that once the stage-show I'm working on goes up that people are going to see me make a bill appear in a lemon and then think I'm a true sorcerer. Not to mention what they'll think after I make the egg disappear and reappear in the bag. I can just see them now, "Excuse me, all-powerful one, can you remove the egg that is the tumor from the bag that is my husband's lungs?" This is the curse of being such an amazingly convincing magician or mentalist. 

So I'm working on what my disclaimer will be to open my show. Below you can listen to part of my rehearsal that I recorded today to give you a sense of the disclaimer as it stands now. I just really hope it's enough to counteract the power of my amazing performance.