Helping Out an Old Friend, Part 2

Awww yeahhh!!!!

My #1 boy, Steve Brooks, got the Magic Cafe up and running again after just one short month while the “data center moved their servers to a larger building.” This was a completely normal and expected shut-down which happens regularly when a data center moves servers. Certainly you can well remember all the sites you visit that went off line for a month. In fact, this site will likely be down next week because we’re shampooing the carpets in the data center. This is just how technology works these days.

Steve wrote a triumphant and not at all defensive announcement about the return of the Cafe. I’m going to help him out by adding some context to that message where applicable. Steves’s too kind-hearted to actually tell you how worthless some of you naysayers really area. But I won’t pull those punches.

He starts off:

“Hey gang,”

Hell yeah. I love this man. We’re his gang, baby! The Magic Cafe crew is fucking hardcore, bro. We roll up everywhere like-

I’m blessed to hang with this crew. When I go out with them we always have a dope time. Me, Brooks, Scribby (David Scribner), The Cutter (Tom Cutts), etc. We all just get into some sick shit, starting fights, slaying pussy. It’s the time of our lives. That’s just who we are.

I wanted to take a moment to thank each and every one you for your continued support of The Magic Café®.

We have been thru a few bumps these last few weeks and you have all been very patient and supportive in your phone calls, emails, private messages and even a few donations along the way. I sincerely thank you all. Yooz da best!

Nah, Steve. Yooz iz!

Over the last twenty plus years since The Magic Café® has been online both the magic community and the world around us have been thru many changes. That is life and the way of things. Technology has come a long way and society can barely keep up it would seem.

A lot of you bitches are going to say, “Why does he keep using the registered trademark symbol ® after The Magic Cafe? That’s not how you use that symbol. It’s not some magic talisman that you tack onto every mention of your name to protect it. It’s something you use maybe once per document. That’s quite enough.”

Well, la-dee-dah, look at you. You think you know so much about trademarks? Well how about this… did you know that Steve doesn’t actually own the trademark for the Magic Cafe? Someone else owns it (or did at one time). What Steve owns is the trademark for Magic Cafe Magicians Helping Magicians Open 24 Hours. Should he be claiming to hold the trademark on “Magic Cafe” when he doesn’t? No, probably not. But those rules are for pussies like you. Steve believes by trademarking that whole phrase he also has the trademark on any series of words/letters within that phrase.

Magic Cafe? That’s a ®
Magicians Helping Magicians? That’s a ®
Open 24 Hours? Sorry, New Jersey diners, but that’s Steve’s ®.
Helping Magicians Open? ®
24? ®
4 Ho? ®

Brooks don’t play, bitch. Why get one registered trademark when you can instead register a convoluted sentence and own every permutation of it? That’s called “using your brain,” something you might not be familiar with.

When The Magic Café® first began the Internet was a much different entity. There was no Facebook or Twitter. In fact, social media as we know it now really didn't exist. I was living in the boontoolies and had a dial-up connection. Its hard to believe but it's true. Wow, how the times have changed.

It’s “hard to believe but it’s true.” Steve Brooks, the guy everyone thinks of as a debonair playboy; the quintessential, cosmopolitan, man-about-town, sophisticate, was at one time living in the boonies using dial-up internet.

You look at him and just see the good looks, the charisma, the cool fashion sense, the machismo. And you think, “Well this guy probably always had it all.” No, dummy. He actually came from humble beginnings.

He goes on to mention the awful things he was dealing with while the site was down.

While my tech team and I were busy dealing with unforeseen circumstances beyond our control and doing our very best to get the Café up and running again, the magic community was full of some of the craziest bits of dis-information, gossip and mean spirited ramblings beyond even my own imagination. People who apparently have a deep repugnance and hatred towards our Café community and myself crawled out of their slimy holes and showed everyone just how angry and miserable they must really be in their own pathetic little lives. It is apparent (at least to me) that these people are prime examples of narcissists who are obviously unaware of their own blatant insecurities. At any rate, these folks are extremely unhappy and bitter and as most of you are aware - misery loves company. How unfortunate.

This is a perfectly normal, perfectly healthy way to deal with criticisms such as, “Why is it taking so long for the Cafe to get back on line?” As Steve so astutely points out, people who would say such things are really mean-spirited, living in slimy holes, with a “deep repugnance” towards the Cafe community. They are angry and miserable. And have pathetic lives. They’re narcissist who are unaware of their own insecurities. Unhappy. Bitter. And miserable. (Not like the happy human behind this.)

That’s a completely normal reaction on his part, right!!!??? That’s not textbook projection from someone who is full of shit, is it?

Having said all of that, I must admit I was sorely tempted to respond to these naysayers. But then I realized this would only pull me down to the level of their conversation. I think it’s obvious that most of the criticism is self-hate because they didn’t come up with the idea which became The Magic Café® and that this community gives the average Joe a platform for his or her thoughts.

Yaaassssssss queen! Preach, Steve! It’s so true. Anyone who might have an issue with the Cafe is obviously driven by self-hate because they didn’t come with the idea for the Magic Cafe. Now, to be clear, every single interest of any type has a message board devoted to it, so that’s not an idea you came up with. And the Cafe wasn’t even the first magic message board. And despite all the ads, it’s apparently not profitable enough even just to keep it functioning properly. You claim it’s hard work running it (how exactly, I’m not sure). It’s less and less relevant unless I post about it or it goes offline. So I’m not 100% sure why someone would hate themselves for not coming up with it…

But I’ll never doubt my main man, Steve! Fuck the haters. Ya’ll are jealous bitches. You just can't stand it that my boy came up with the idea of a magic message board. Go back into your slimy holes—and I ain’t talking about your wife’s pussy—I’m talking about whatever miserable existence you live in. I don’t care what you say, you’re never going to get me to flip on my brother, Steve. I’m always gonna keep it 100 for Team Brooks. The Magic Cafe Magicians Helping Magician Open 24 Hours® for life!