Crib Death
/Do you love magic?
Has a swamp amoeba eaten more than 75% of your brain?
Then you will love this new product stocked by Murphy’s Magic.
Yes, the Invisible Deck. That classic effect that we’ve all ignored because it requires you to subtract a number from thirteen. Okay, sure, Archimedes… let me just subtract a number from thirteen like it’s nothing.
Well, now you don’t have to do that yourself.
You just have to scan this sticker on the back of your card box to know what card you need to find in the deck.
Surely you—a person who can’t subtract six from thirteen without an abacus and a private tutor—can certainly scan the back of a playing card case in a casual, unstudied manner.
And the best part is, the crib hides in plain sight! If someone sees it, they’ll just assume it’s a standard deck of “Byclone” playing cards with gibberish on the back.
The only thing missing from this product are some warnings that the target demographic will need to hear.
For external use only! Do not swallow the crib.
Put the crib on your card box. Do not affix it to your forehead and then look at in the mirror. It will be backwards.
Do not introduce the deck by saying, “This one has a cheat sheet on it.”
If, during application, the sticker becomes entangled in your pubic hair, apply a small amount of peanut butter to loosen it. If your pubic region is already covered in peanut butter—because you got aroused mid-sandwich-making by the Peter Pan logo and couldn’t help yourself (who could blame you)—try white vinegar.
If you like this product, keep your eye out for their next release. It's a sticker you attach to the heads side of your coins that says, "The other side is tails." This way you have a secret crib that lets you know what's on the other side without turning the coin over.
