Mailbag #182
/What are your thoughts on the Nameseek app? Specifically the point brought up in this Cafe thread that says people are going to be suspicious of going to a website to look up a name, especially the younger generation because these days they look up everything via AI/ChatGPT. Fair point in your opinion?—AT
Generally, I don’t have any thoughts on the app as I haven’t used it. The creator once asked me to take a look at it, but when I said I didn’t do reviews on the site, that was kind of the end of the discussion. So I can’t tell you one way or another if the site itself looks or feels legitimate.
As for the contention that the younger generation doesn’t look things up on website, I get where that’s coming from, but it honestly sounds like an old person’s understanding of young people, gleaned entirely from Facebook posts shared by other old people: “They don’t look stuff up on websites. They can’t type; they can only communicate in emojis. All their dances come from Fortnite. And apparently, they’ve stopped having sex altogether!”
If anything, the younger people I know are a little more suspicious of AI than the older generation—at least the portion of the older generation that have adopted the technology and treat it like an infallible electronic grandson.
Regardless, this particular concern is easy enough to sidestep. First, don’t say, “Let’s look up the meaning of a name. Go to this website.”
Say, “Go to this website.” Then say, “We’re going to look up the meaning of a name.”
This gets them onto the site before the subject of name meanings comes up. Now it doesn’t make sense for them to leave the site and go to ChatGPT or something similar.
This is related to another piece of advice I’ve given in the past. Don’t say, “I’m going to read your mind. Write down a word.” That’s introducing those ideas in the wrong order. It gives them a chance to say, “Wait, why do I have to write down the word if you’re going to read my mind?” Instead, say, “Write down any word.” Only then do you introduce the idea that they’re going to “just think” of the word they wrote down and you’ll read their mind.
In both cases, you get them to take the action first and explain its significance second. That way, the explanation doesn’t give them an opportunity to question the action.
The other thing you have on your side—regarding why a website makes sense for this information—is that we’re not looking up the capitals of the world, where there’s one objectively correct answer and it shouldn’t matter where you get it. Name meanings are interpretive. Different sources give different answers. So choosing one particular source to work from makes perfect sense.
If you feel you need to justify it, you can say, “Do you know what your name means? The problem is, a lot of names have multiple meanings, and if you look them up online, you’ll get half a dozen different answers depending on where you go. I like this site. It seems to have the most thorough and up-to-date information, so this is the one I use.”
So if you were genuinely testing your ability to pick up on this information, you probably wouldn’t use ChatGPT. You’d want everyone working from the same supposedly reliable source. The website isn’t something you need to apologize for—it’s probably the more logical procedure.
Okay, I love your magic style, the thinking behind it, and the tricks in your books. But I think the part that actually amazes me the most is your work ethic. Ten years of posts, newsletters, and books always on schedule? That’s rare anywhere and basically unheard of in magic. How do you actually stick to that schedule? Do you have any tips for someone hoping to start a similar project?—NG
Eleven years, actually. Don’t undersell my accomplishment.
Have you ever heard the song Bug Like an Angel by Mitski? Incredible song and an even better music video.
It’s a song about alcoholism, and it has this lyric:
Did you go and make promises you can't keep?
Well, when ya break them, they break you right back
While I don’t have any addiction issues, I can still relate to this sentiment.
We tend to think that breaking a promise means screwing someone else over so we can do what we really want. But if the promise was sincere, the greater damage is to yourself. Every time you break one, you make it a little harder to believe yourself the next time you say, “I’m going to do this.”
I didn’t promise you I would write 180 posts a year, a couple hundred pages of newsletters, and a book every 18 months. I promised myself that. I adore myself. I’m delightful. I don’t want to fuck that guy over, so I keep the promise.
You can’t rely on the universe or other people to always give you what you need. But you should be able to rely on yourself or else you’re just adrift.
The catch is that you can’t promise yourself everything. They need to be rationed. If everything is a promise, then nothing is. You’ve just turned “I promise” into a more dramatic way of saying, “I’d like to.”
So you choose a few areas—your work, your relationships, your health—and make a small number of serious promises about them. Keeping those promises becomes a priority. In other areas, you make an honest effort but without demanding perfection.
I know you want a better answer. Some clever scheduling or productivity advice or something. But none of that really matters. You get the things done that you don’t give yourself an option not to get done. If the project you’re considering is important enough to you, you’ll make that commitment. If not, you’ll probably start it with the best of intentions and then eventually abandon it because staying on top of something like that is hard as hell.