Tequila Diddler

Here’s a small, fun, sexy idea to use with your girlfriend/boyfriend/spouse/friend-with-benefits. It would not be good for your mom/boss/pastor (but don’t let me stop you, you freak).

If you’re apart from each other—maybe you live in separate houses, or one of you is traveling—call the other person on the phone before bed.

Tell them you want to try and tune into their mind and body. Have them put the phone on speaker and start touching themselves with one hand. They can choose to lie or tell the truth about which hand they’re touching themself with. Then they can choose to switch hands or not and again they will either lie or tell the truth about what they did.

You match your breathing to theirs and after a moment, one of your hands begins to feel warm all the way on the opposite side of town or opposite side of the globe. You can now tell them exactly which hand they’re going to town on themselves with. You can repeat it again, but afterwards, it’s probably best to move on to something more urgent.

This is Mark Eslsdon’s Tequila Hustler, just done with your lover’s genitals rather than a coin.

I’m not writing this as a joke suggestion. I’ve done it and it goes over surprisingly well. It’s fun and quick, which is what you want. You don’t want to do anything too substantial when you’re mixing magic with sex. For that matter, you don’t want to do anything too substantial when you’re mixing anything with sex. Licking whipped cream off someone’s nipples could be a sexy moment, but you don’t want to gobble down pulled pork and roasted brussels sprouts off them. Just do something quick and easy as a prelude to the good stuff.