Jerx Christmas - Chris Rawlins - 3:41 AM

The funniest thing just happened. I see this spindly little Santa Claus come sneaking past me, set to go downstairs where the kids are.

“What are you doing?” I said.

“Oh,” he goes, “I was going to surprise the kids with a visit from Santa.”

I pulled the beard off him and saw that it was Chris Rawlins.

I was like, “Chris, sorry, but this is one outfit you definitely can’t pull off. You’re built like a candy cane, not like Santa Claus. You can’t go wake up a bunch of kids at 3:30 in the goddamn morning looking like frickin’ Slenderman. What are you thinking?”

He hung his head in shame. “I just want to be a jolly fat man,” he said.

Things get weird this late at night. I tell ya.

Chris has a great new trick called Memoraid that I encourage you to checkout if you are at all into performing a memory-based premise.

And Chris asked if I would give this present to and say it’s from Santa Rawlins. So click on the gift below for a present from Santa Rawlins.