The Bazillion Dollar Bill Mystery

I want you to do me a favor. I want you to imagine you've purchased a limited edition effect from me.  It's a slim manuscript and you paid $150 for it. Here's why. If you had paid $40 for the trick below, you would probably do it. If I had put it out in a limited edition manuscript for $150, you would definitely do it. Instead I'm going to give it to you for free and none of you will do it. Such is life.

This is a much improved version of a clever UF Grant trick. "Much improved, Andy? Well... you certainly think highly of yourself." Uh, yeah, you don't know the half of it. I think I'm better than all these old dullards you revere. Like Erdnase? That guy isn't responsible for 6 minutes of entertainment in the history of the world since his book was published. Put me and Erdnase in a room with a handful of non-magicians and see which one they find more entertaining. I will demolish him. And that book of his? What a total snooze-fest. Erdnase, you can suck it. And UF Grant? Well, FU UF Grant. I just made your trick 100 times better. 

I'm just kidding (No, I'm not). But I do believe I've added something fairly significant to Grant's trick. The trick is the Million Dollar Bill Mystery. Here is the effect. The magician borrows 2 one-dollar bills from two different audience members. He tears the bills in half and gives each person half of their bill and then the other halves disappear and reappear in a sealed envelope. While I've changed the vanish and the handling of the moves in Grant's effect, that's really just a personalization. The significant change I've made is to the set-up, which allows you to follow up a strong trick with a devastating trick. 

You see, Grant created this really clever method but then knew fuck-all of what to do with it. "Eh, I'll make both halves go to an envelope." 50 years later Michael Ammar did a similar trick on one of his Easy To Master DVDs and the halves of a bill transported into a peanut. That is, essentially, as good a representation of how magic progressed over those 50 years as anything is.  

Grant's trick suffered from a problem that a lot of magic does. It's a structural problem of the trick itself. And I call this the 9/11 Was an Inside Job problem. If 9/11 was a false flag attack so the US could go to war, why did they take out both towers of the World Trade Center? Wouldn't one have been enough? Why double the amount of people or time required for your conspiracy to succeed for no greater benefit?

What does that have to do with magic? Well, because the UF Grant trick has a similar logical flaw in it. Why do you borrow two bills and then have both torn halves reappear in the same place? Why do the same trick twice? Well, you do so because you need to have two bills in play for the method to work. But while it's true you need to borrow two bills to do the UF Grant trick, you don't need to do the exact same trick with them. It was this realization that led to the following trick. 

The description below is how I performed the trick this weekend. When you get to the end you will think that it's crazy and way too involved to set up. Trust me, keep reading, it doesn't have to be that way. I will give you other options at the end that are much simpler and require only 30 seconds to set up. 

Effect

Two bills are borrowed and torn in half. Each spectator keeps one half of their bill. The other halves disappear and are transported to two different places.

Imagine

It's a Saturday, late afternoon. My friends Chris and Michelle are at my apartment where we're passing time before going to the beach to get dinner and have a night-time beach hang-out with a bunch of friends.

"Can I try something with you two?" I ask. "Have you ever heard that when Robin Williams would do a movie -- when he would shoot a scene -- they would do it once according to the script and then a second time where he would just improvise and do whatever he wanted? I think it's the same thing with Will Ferrell. Like they'll shoot things one time according to plan, so they know they have something good. But then they do it a second time -- knowing it might not work at all -- but giving themselves the possibility that something amazing might happen. I want to try something like that with you."

"We're going to try a trick twice. The first time we will be completely 'on-script.' And hopefully it will be an amazing trick. The second time we're just going to kind of leave it up to chance and if it doesn't work, it doesn't work. But if it does work, I think it will not just be an amazing trick, but a pretty amazing life experience. We'll see."

I take out a 6" by 9" kraft paper envelope and hand it to Michelle. I say that from this moment on I will never touch the envelope again. I ask them both to examine it as closely as possible, making sure the envelope is completely sealed and that there are no slits anywhere or any openings of any kind. I ask Michelle to write her name across the sealed flap of the envelope, so that if it were to be opened we would have evidence of it being tampered with. I then give her a roll of duct tape and ask her to seal the small natural openings on the corners of the envelope where the flap folds over. And I ask her to sign her name halfway on the tape, and halfway on the envelope on each corner so we'll know if it's been disturbed. The envelope is now completely sealed. Even more so than a normal sealed envelope. I ask Chris to draw a target on the front of the envelope. Then I ask him to look around my apartment and prop it up anywhere he wants where we can see the target. He places it on a bookshelf a room away.

This is all very deliberate and methodical and "test conditions."

I ask each of them to give me a dollar bill. With completely empty hands I take the two dollar bills, rip them in half, and give Chris half of his bill, and Michelle half of her bill and have them put them in their pockets. 

I take the other halves of the bills and put them in an empty card case. A thought comes to me and I remove one of the halves from the card case and write on it with the marker:

  If found, please call  
 212-929-4500  
 (U.S.A.)

I then drop that half in the card case with the other half and give the cardbox to Michelle to hold between her hands.

"This trick is about teleportation. Remember these things: One, the first thing we did, before anything else, was seal up that envelope so it was airtight. Two, you both gave me dollar bills that you had in your wallet or purse. They're your own dollars that you brought with you today and you've been holding onto them the whole time since we ripped them in half. Three, the other halves of your bills are in this case. What I am going to try and do is teleport one of the halves of the bills to that envelope in the other room." I ask Michelle to hold the case out in front of her between her hands. I ask Chris to put his hands around hers, and I put my hands around both of theirs. I start breathing deeply then close my eyes very tight and squeeze their hands between mine.

"It's done," I say. Michelle hands me the cardbox and I open it up towards her without even looking. "They're gone, right? Put your finger in there, it's completely empty, yes?" She verifies that it's empty. 

I ask Chris to get the envelope from the other room. I ask him to check if it has been tampered with in anyway. It hasn't. It's still completely sealed. I ask him to open the envelope and pull out what he finds inside. He does and he pulls out a second envelope. This one sealed with tape across the flap. I ask him if this one is completely sealed too and he agrees it is. I tell him to open it and dump the contents onto the table. He rips open the end of the envelope and turns it over above the table. Out flutters one half of a dollar bill. 

I look from one of them to the other and let the moment marinate. "To be fair, that could be any bill. Does it match one of your bills?" They pull their half-bills out of their pocket as I take the half-bill from the table. I line it up with Michelle's but it doesn't match. I hand it over to Chris, he lines it up with his bill and it's a perfect match. Every fiber, the serial number, everything.

"Ta-daa," I say.

It's a very strong trick. 

"But where is my half?" Michelle asks.

"I have no clue," I say. "I mean, it's probably around here somewhere." I start looking around my apartment, pulling the cushions off the couch, looking behind things on shelves, etc. As I'm doing this I'm explaining to her... "If it's not here, then it's most likely somewhere within a couple miles. It's hard to say, it could really be anywhere. I concentrated on sending one bill inside the envelope, but the other one I just sent out."

They ask me to clarify.

"Remember I talked about doing something twice? Once according to a script and once without knowing what would happen? That's what I did with the bills. The thing about teleportation is this: It can be exact, like sending a letter in the mail. You write down an address and know where it's going. But it doesn't have to be. Yes, you can send a note in the mail. But you also can put it in a bottle and throw it in the ocean. That's what I did with the second half. I just sent it out. Maybe someone finds it, maybe they don't but I figured if they did it would be pretty ama--"

My cellphone starts ringing on my coffee table.

It's an unknown number. I pick it up. "Hello?" I start to laugh a little bit. "I'm sorry, do you speak English? L'anglais?" I listen for a moment and turn to my friends and mouth "Oh my god!" I say, "I'm sorry, but do you have skype by any chance? Can we continue this over the computer?" We exchange some information, I write something down, and I hang up. 

My friends are asking me what's going on but I don't give them any information. "Just hold on," I say, "you'll see." I sit at my desk and fire up my computer. I log into skype and have my friends pull up chairs around me. I call up the skype name I've written down. After a few moments an image pops up on my computer. It is a bearded, straggly haired dude of about 40 years old. In his lap is an adorable little blond 3-year old in pigtails and pajamas.

"Bonsoir!" I say.

"Hello!" he says, in a French accent, and waves. His daughter waves too, excitedly. He introduces himself as Benjamin and his daughter as Élodie. "You have to tell me what is happening," he says.

"haha, What do you mean?" I ask.

"This," he says, and holds up half of a bill.

Michelle gasps, like out of a movie.

I am laughing. "Where did you get that?" 

He shrugs and points up in the air.

Élodie screams, "Il flottait dans l'air!"

"What did she say?" I ask.

"She says, 'It floated out of the air.'"

I ask him to hold the bill up to the camera and direct him to orient it and hold it at a distance to where it's just about actual size for us on our end of the screen. "Michelle," I say, "see if it matches up." She pulls her half-bill out of her pocket and holds it up to the screen. The serial numbers match, the tear matches down to the small crooked tear at the bottom.

"I do not understand what is going on," Benjamin says.

Michelle scoots over into my place and animatedly explains what happened. "That was my bill!" she says. "It was in my purse when I came over here today. We tore it in half. I kept this half and the other part disappeared and now you have it." She turns to me, "How is that...?" Then back to the the computer, "Are you really in France," she asks?

Benjamin picks up his laptop and walks into a bedroom, he steps out onto a small balcony, and holds his laptop out so we can see the street then tilts it up and in the far distance the Eiffel Tower can be seen. He holds out the half of the dollar in the frame next to the Eiffel Tower putting the whole effect into perspective.

He returns to his daughter in the other room. We talk for a few more minutes. And then say our goodbyes to our new friends. 

We go to the beach where the story is retold throughout the night, getting more and more impossible with every retelling.

Method

There are a number of variables in this effect. It does not have to be as big as I made it in the presentation. It can still be a very strong effect without being a transcontinental effort. Read to the end for other options. But first I will explain how I did it.

Set Up: Take a dollar bill, tear it in half. Make it mostly straight except for a tiny jagged tear at the bottom. Seal one half of the bill in an envelope and seal that envelope in another envelope. This is the "target" envelope set up.

Take the other half of the dollar, write the message from the description on it (with your phone number and country), and mail it to someone you know who is first and foremost a good actor. It also helps if he/she lives in a place that is very far away from you and that you can see a recognizable landmark from their place.

Handling: This effect could be done on stage, close-up, parlor or whatever. It's really very practical. I will tell you how I did it in a casual performing environment and you can figure out the particulars that will work well for you wherever you perform.

I sat on a couch between my two spectators.

I introduced the envelope as in the presentation, and I truly don't ever touch it again. That's one of the beautiful parts of this method. That envelope is prepared as I mention in the description of the effect and set aside somewhere.

I then ask to borrow two dollar bills. I put them back to back and tear them in half. The choreography of what follows is this (and it matches perfectly what you would do in real life). You hold the bills in front of your chest to tear them; you tear the bills into four pieces, two pieces in each hand; then your arms unfold, christ-on-the-cross style, to offer each spectator a piece of their bill. But as you do, your left 1st and 2nd fingers turn over its bills. That's all their is to it. It all happens in the movement from your arms going from bent-in at the elbow to opening up and straight at the elbow. The flip of the one packet is completely lost in the overall movement. Your arms should be mirroring each other at the end with your hands holding the bills, fingers on the bottom, thumb on top.

I now say this, I thought a long time about the wording, and I'm not even sure it's grammatically correct but it cements what the situation should be and I think clarifies everything going forward. I turn to the person on the right and extend my right hand to them, "Okay, now you take the half of the bill on top," then I turn to the person on my left and extend my left hand to them, "and you take the half of the bill on the bottom."

From the way you tear the bills, to how you give out the pieces, to what you say -- everything is in keeping with how it would happen for real. But the actual condition is that they are both holding halves of the same bill. And you are holding two halves of another bill. 

I tell them to put their pieces of the bill in their pocket just because that seems more "secure" and I don't want the remote possibility that one of them might notice the other half has the same serial number.

Then I vanish the other two halves. I did so by using Paul Harris' Angel Case. But it doesn't matter what happens to these halves, so you could do anything with them. Burn them, flush them, send them into the air in a helium balloon. Whatever you want. But before you vanish them, reconsider what you're about to do, remove one of the halves, and write the message on it to match the one you mailed to your friend. 

After I vanished the two halves, I had the envelope retrieved, opened, the other enveloped dumped out, opened, and the half bill dumped out.

Now comes the next and final move. It's not even really a move. What you need to do, under the actions of comparing one person's half-bill (either person's) to the half-bill that fell out of the envelope, is switch the two. Here's how I did it. I asked Michelle for her half-bill and took it with one hand while taking the half-bill from the envelope with the other. Then I stood up from the couch and turned to face them. In the process my hands come together to match up the bill. I see that it doesn't match and I gave Michelle back the half that had come from the envelope as if it was the half she just gave me. Done casually there is not much to suspect here. It's a moment of non-magic. The shifting of my body was probably overkill. You can really just take the two half-bills, try to line them up, then put them flat against each other and examine the torn edges, turn them over once or twice in the process and hand her back the opposite piece. Whatever feels right. The fact is that when you hand the other piece back and keep all attention on the piece you retain, it's going to feel like that's the important piece that we've been dealing with the whole time. You then say, "If this isn't part of her bill, then it must be the other half of yours," and hand it to the second spectator. He gets to take the bill and match it up with the piece he retains. The "magic" moment is the one you're not involved with. It's very deceptive.

The other half can now appear wherever you want it to. In fact, the only place it shouldn't appear is where it does in UF Grant's original, i.e. in the same envelope as the first piece.

I set it up with my friend to have him call at a particular time, about 15 minutes after I knew I would be starting the trick. It doesn't need to be exact. In can be any time later that evening. Just make sure you remove that person's contact info from your phone, so when it rings they won't notice it's from a friend.

But let's say you don't want to go to that trouble. Where else can the other half go? Did you not hear me above when I said it could go anywhere? Why do I have to come up with all the ideas?

Okay, here are a couple other ways I might do it in the future if I don't have someone helping me on the other side of the world.

1. If I was in my friend's place earlier that day, I would leave the half-bill somewhere. Maybe on their dresser or on their kitchen counter before we left. Then when I performed the trick I would say, "I teleported his bill to the envelope, but yours I tried to send all the way into your apartment. When you get back tonight check your coffee table or your kitchen counters and see if I was able to get it there. Call me if it worked." I like the idea of magic that concludes when you're not around.

2. But let's say you didn't have access to their place. You're in your house and you decide you want to perform this effect for someone. Here's how you could do it with about half a minute's set-up. Get two envelopes. Take a dollar bill, rip it in half. Put half in an envelope, then fold that envelope and seal it in another envelope. Take the other half of the dollar bill and put it in your microwave. Then proceed with the trick. When it comes time to show the teleportation of the second bill say, "I teleported the first bill towards a target. But the other one I just shot off without aiming. It could be anywhere around here." You send the spectator whose bill matches into the kitchen, the other spectator into a different room, and yourself into a third room. It's almost like an easter egg hunt at this point. Eventually your spectator will find the other half of her bill in the microwave. If she doesn't after a couple minutes just say, "Make sure you check everywhere. The cupboards, the microwave, the refrigerator." She'll find it

Obviously if you do one of these other versions, you don't need to write anything on the bill.

There you have it. Thank you for purchasing this $150 manuscript. I hope you get some use out of it.

Sundry Drive No. 4

In regards to my post about the song that opens the L&L DVDs, I received this informative and oddly capitalized email from G.S.:

You are damn right with the Music. The Music is from a German Guy called James Last he died This Year. This music was also the Background Music of a German Comedy Show. And After James Last died they thanked him and Said that without His Music the Show would not have Been that funny!

Now I just need to find out the exact name of the song. It would be perfect for my sex-mix. 


Speaking of my sex-mix...


I used to do a trick where I wore a blue t-shirt and across the front it said, "This Shirt is Red." When someone would say, "No it's not." I'd turn my back to them and say, "Not even on the back?" They'd say no, and when I turned back around my shirt would be red and it would say, "Yes It Is" across the front.

This was how I would do Dresscode by Calen Morelli.


I always wish this guy hadn't been videotaping this practice session. I wish he had just spent the rest of his life believing that for one moment in time the laws of the universe were suspended and that manifested itself in the cups and balls becoming real.


Working on the casting for my Siegfried and Roy biopic.


Here's a pic I thought better of using for one of this week's posts. Can you guess which one? Put on your thinking caps!


Tweak-End: Hide, Keep, and Give Away by Jay Sankey

It's Saturday. I'm debuting two new effects at my friends' place tonight. One involves someone having their mind read by my friend's unborn child. The other is one of the more magical and surreal ideas I think I've ever come up with, so I'm excited to try it out. Both of the effects are pretty practical, so if I decide to share them with you rejects I think you will really like them.

Today i just want to present a small tweak to an effect you may already do. I generally don't like to share every little idea I have for established effects, but this is a small change that vastly improved the level of engagement I received from the people I performed the effect for. 

Since Jay Sankey originally released his 22 Blows to the Head DVD, I have been doing his effect Hide, Keep, and Give Away. Essentially your spectator picks three cards from the deck and shuffles them in their hands, sight unseen. Jay's patter line is then, "You can tell a lot about a person by what they hide, what they keep, and what they give away." The spectator then has a free choice of which card they hide (it gets put into the deck reversed), which card they give to the magician, and which card they keep for themselves. At the end they read your prediction and you've nailed which cards they would choose and how they would distribute them.

I always liked the trick, but I wanted to get into it a little more with the patter. I wanted to ask them a few questions about what they hide, keep, or give away and then make it appear that those answers somehow gave me some insight to allow me to make the prediction. But as I thought about it, I realized those categories don't quite make sense. "Keeping" something or "giving it away" is a logical pairing. But "hiding" something or "keeping" it don't really go together. They're not opposites, they're not even mutually exclusive. Most of the time when you hide something you also keep it. So it was hard for me to come up with examples of these things to suggest to my spectator.

So here is the change I made, and at first it will sound very minor, but it allows you to get into a relatively interesting discussion that leads into the trick. The change is that now I think of the trick as Keep, Give Away, or Throw Away. And here's how that change manifests itself in the patter.

"If you have a relationship that ends badly, do you keep your old love letters or do you get rid of them?... Oh, you burn them? I see. So there's no desire to try and keep mementos of the good times? Ok. Interesting."

"When you have clothes that don't fit or are out of style, do you just toss them out or do you donate them somewhere?"

"Okay, let's say you've just finished a book. And it was fine, but it's not one of your favorites. Do you keep that book or do you give it to a friend or donate it to the library or something?"

I act as if I'm absorbing and making some calculations in my mind based on these responses. Then I spread the deck face-up on the table and scan it back and forth. After a few moments I pick up a pen and paper and start making my prediction.

"You know, psychologists say you can tell a lot about a person by what they keep, what they give away, and what they throw out or just get rid of. I want to see if I can use what you've just told me to try and predict what's going to happen next."

I fold up the prediction and then I go into the trick. The spectator picks three cards. One is "thrown away" by being placed reversed back into the deck with the other "garbage" cards that weren't selected. I then slow things down. "Okay, you've thrown one away. Now, I want you to be very deliberate about this. One of those cards you're going to keep for yourself and one you're going to give to me. Hand me either one." She does. Before I take it I say, "Are you sure? One of these is an old skirt that doesn't fit and the other is the first polaroid of your child. [Or some other examples that came up during the opening discussion.] Are you sure that's the one you want to give away? This is your last chance to reconsider." She doesn't change her mind and you take the card she gives you.

At this point, don't do the DL handling that Sankey does on the DVD (it's much weaker than the top change handling he mentions in passing). Gesture with the "give away" card at your prediction and ask her to open it and read it. As she unfolds it, do a top change. Theres more cover than you'll ever need. Then slowly separate your hands a good couple of feet to imply they were never near each other.

"You will throw away the Ace," she says.

You spread the deck on the table with your left hand to show the Ace is the reversed "thrown away" card in the middle of the deck.

"You will give away the 9."

You slowly turn over the card she "gave" to you. It's the 9.

"And you will keep the jack," she reads. Then she turns over the card she chose to keep and it's the jack.

This is one of my go to effects in an impromptu situation. It takes under 10 seconds to set up. It's technically a five card set-up but you only need to get two into position. The other three you just modify your prediction to roll with whatever is there. The questions are actually somewhat interesting and really do seem like they could give some insight into their character. There's an internal logic to it, but at the same time it's still unbelievable that you could somehow predict those actions based on those questions. 

"Internally logical" yet "unbelievable." I really think this is the strongest combination when presenting magic. 

If you don't have this effect I recommend picking up Sankey's 22 Blows to the Head DVD. There's a handful other effects from there that I've worked on as well and pretty much everything is incredible simple to do.

Bada Da Dadada Da Dadah Da Da Dadada Da Da Dahh Da Dah Dah Dada Da Dah Dah Dada Dahhhhhh

I was thinking today about L&L DVDs. You know, like the 3 or 4 DVD sets from guys like David Regal, Michael Ammar, or John Guastaferro. I used to love those DVD sets so much. And I was wondering today why that was. I mean the obvious answer is that there was a lot of good magic on those sets. And they'd bring in the L&L floozies for the tapings. And John and David for comic relief -- or to show people the dangers of fetal alcohol consumption. I'm not 100% sure.

I was watching some clips from those DVDs online and they didn't have the same resonance for me and I didn't know why. And then it hit me. It's because I didn't hear the jazzy music that used to open those DVDs. There's something about that song... it instills a kind of pavlovian reaction in magicians to make them fawn over whatever it's associated with. That song was the real star. I don't even think I liked most of those DVDs after all. Most I downright loathed, come to think of it. But that damn song makes everything seem great. Lay it over anything and whatever you watch you'll think, "This is wonderful." Well, that was my hypothesis, and I think I proved it with the video below.


UPDATED: Somebody Figure This Shit Out For Me

Follow me here.

I've been having some ideas for effects where the climax doesn't happen at the end. Or, at least where the most surprising moment of the effect isn't the last part of it. I don't know if this makes any sense. But it doesn't need to for the purposes of this post.

So I had this idea. I would call up a friend and ask if I could show them something and let them know it would require some very specific items so it might be a little annoying but I think the trick is pretty good. Then when I get to their house I sit on their couch and pull out my phone. I turn on my phone to look at the list of stuff I'm going to need for the effect. I read off the list.

"Okay, I need a pair of sunglasses, a quarter, a magazine, a remote control, a spoon, a pair of scissors, a pen, and a DVD case."

My friend says, "Wait... what do you need?"

I turn my phone to my friend to show them the instructions for the trick where it says:

Required Items:

  • a pair of sunglasses
  • a quarter
  • a magazine
  • a remote control
  • a spoon
  • a pair of scissors
  • a pen
  • a dvd case

She looks from the phone to me and says, "Are you kidding me?"

"What do you mean?" I ask.

She points to her coffee table.

I thought this would be a cool, surprising way to get into an effect. As if I just so happened to need whatever items she had immediately on hand. What effect would I go into? Probably some kind of equivoque routine. I have a pretty well honed version I do and I could just say that they recommend these particular items because, in concert, one of them is particularly psychologically attractive and the others are psychologically repellant.

And I thought it would be easy to do as well. Just have a set of instructions on my phone with nothing under the "Required Items" heading. Then, when I go to read out the list of items, I just hit the voice transcription button on my iphone and list off whatever I see on the table in front of me. 

But, as some of you probably know, when you do voice transcription there is a noise when you start and stop it (even if you have your phone on silent and the volume all the way off). And you can't hit enter to create a list because the keyboard vanishes. Does anyone know a way around either of these issues? Is there some kind of setting I can adjust to remove the noise? Or a different app altogether? Probably not. 

Oh well. I'm going to continue to work on this type of idea and so should some of you. I like the idea of having a very particular set of needs for a trick, and then -- by luck or fate -- those needs are exactly what you have before you.

UPDATE 12:00 PM, July 23rd - As I slept, Jerx: Europe got to work on this problem and I woke up to a few emails that had a solution -- at least in part -- to this. And that's simply to do the effect with my headphones plugged in. Which now seems obvious, of course. My mind had been thinking in the direction of some kind of setting to turn off the noise, but this will work just as well, especially given the fact I would have my headphones plugged in in the first place. So thanks to Marc K., Rob S., and Rob D. for writing in with that suggestion.

Guys, I'm Totally a Spencer!

I was emailed a link to this quiz which let's you know which member of Criss Angel's Supernaturalists you are. I know you've been itching to find out. 

It seems like it wouldn't be that difficult to figure out which member you are.

Do you have a vagina? You're Krystyn Lambert!

Are you talented? You're Banachek!

Do you have wildly low self-esteem? You're Criss Angel!

Are you some bland hanger-on who secretly can't stand Criss? You're everyone else!

I took the quiz and got this result.

Yes!! This is convenient because I had already come up with the title for this post.

They got me pegged so good! I'm such a Spencer. We have the same taste in shirts. And I have the identical leather shawl to keep me warm when it's chilly outside. My lipstick is a shade darker, but it's pretty close. 

The Supernaturalists is, of course, Criss Angel's Crissangelfied version of the show The Illusionists.

Before:

After:

It asks the magical question, "What would happen if The Illusionists had a gift certificate to Hot Topic in 1999?" They genuinely look like they were being chased through a garage sale at the pickup artist Mystery's house and that is the stuff that just fell on them in the mayhem. Seriously, at this point making fun of Criss Angel's corny style is itself outdated. I was doing that shit 10 years ago on my old site. But please, you guys, stand up to him. Tell him this shit is hokey. For fuck's sake, Banachek looked better when James Randi was dressing him.

I'm not going to talk any more shit about them. I know they feel embarrassed enough already. 

I'm thinking of doing my own rip-off of The Illusionists. Just trying to get the funding to make it happen. It's going to star the Magic Cafe staff. The Delusionists. Anyone know where I can get leather pants in Steve Brooks' size?

Here's a fun quiz to figure out which member of the Cafe staff you are.


Words With Friends

One time I was showing someone a trick and I was revealing her card to her and I said, "It's a picture card." And she wrinkled her face at me. So I said, "Is it a picture card?" And she said, "They all have pictures on them." And she's right. All cards have pictures on them. 

I no longer say picture cards, spot cards, court cards. If I have to differentiate them I talk about cards with numbers and cards with letters. This may make me sound stupid to someone who knows cards. That's fine. I just don't want to trip up people who don't play cards or handle them regularly. And nobody has any trouble understanding the difference between numbers and letters.

When giving directions, my goal is to constantly streamline things. If two spectators misunderstand the same thing in a trick I perform on two separate occasions, I will rewrite it. I don't care. I'm not precious about the words I use, only about being understood.

I think everyone agrees that saying "riffle" is dumb. "As I riffle through the cards..." No. "As I flip through the cards..." Yes. But I think the reason people are willing to give up on riffle is because it's a stupid sounding word. So is dribble. Unless you're doing a trick with basketballs or where you fix someone's faulty prostate, I wouldn't use the word dribble.

It's easy to forget that people aren't familiar with the names of shuffles, even if they do them. "Can you give these a riffle shuffle?" "Can you give them an overhand shuffle?" Whenever I hear someone say that in a performance I know that they either only perform for other magicians or never perform for anybody. If you perform for real people it becomes immediately clear that if you want them to do a specific type of shuffle you need to mime it. 

Half the time I see a demo of a trick and the performer says, "Sign the face of the card," the person points with the marker and says, "This side?" Yeah, I know "face" should be obvious, but apparently it's not. Just say "front" or "back."

Bob Cassidy suggests that "only magicians" think it's strange to use the word "billets" to describe those little pieces of paper used in mentalism when talking with laymen. Certainly spectators should be familiar with the "billet reading seances" of the mid-19th century? Well, first of all, I don't think that's quite as common a phrase as Mr. Cassidy imagines it to be. So yeah, it is strange to call them billets. Even the dictionary describes that use of the word as "archaic." Now, to be fair, I might introduce that term to an audience, and discuss the etymology of it coming from the French word for "love letters," because that could be interesting. But just to say, "Write a word on this billet," would be dopey as hell.

These aren't just esthetic points. Yes, most spectator's can figure out what you're saying from context, but there's no reason to not make things as straightforward as possible. And the less people have to do any interpreting the easier it is to connect with them/mess with their minds.

I once heard a magician friend tell his spectator to find her card in the deck and then "outjog" it. The person was like, "What the fuck are you talking about?" but he was already on to his next point. His spectator had no idea what to do and it completely stalled the trick. Afterwards I said to him, "Just tell her to pull the card out an inch or so." He argued that "outjog" is a normal word that means "to pull something out a little." I was almost convinced that maybe it was, I've been stuck in this magic world too long myself. So we googled it and all the results in the first few pages were magic related except one that said one of the Jonas brothers could outjog them and they wouldn't mind because then they could look at his butt. So that's the public understanding of the term "outjog."

Have you heard worse or are you guilty of anything similar?