This Is the Zodiac Speaking

There was something in X-Communication #11 that I wanted to address here. And no, it's not the part where I thought I was supposed to review Nicholas Lawrence's Fleshlight (a disgusting crusty mess) instead of Nicholas Lawrence's Flash Flight (a cheap, fun and unique T&R routine.)

No, it was the part about astrology divination. Specifically Peter Turner's Astronomical, but it applies to any similar effect. As I wrote...

"This effect shouldn’t work. If I have you think of one of 12 things and then I have to fish around for the information and start naming letters that might be in the word and happen to name the most frequently used letters in the English language and then, after a "no," I’m kind of able to guess what your star sign is, your response should be, “Well... okay.” If you asked a non-magician to guess what your star sign is by guessing letters, they would essentially do the same thing as you’re doing here. Obviously you would be employing some subtleties that disguise the method somewhat as Peter does in this download. But essentially it would be the same thing. 

And the trick doesn’t, in fact, work for a lot of people. You’ll start naming off letters and it will be clear immediately what is going on. It will come across as a well planned guessing game to those people. 

Standard zodiac divination in progress.

But what I’ve found is this trick does work well with the people you are likely to perform it on, namely female spectators with some belief or interest in astrology. [Not necessarily female spectator's. But women are more likely to believe in or be interested in astrology.]There’s no reason to do this trick for anyone else. And since it does work for that group it’s a trick I recommend. I have a theory as to why it works with that group as well that I’ll be explaining in a future post on my site."

Well guys, it's the future now. Amazing, huh? Are you enjoying flying dinners and the cars you can eat in pill form? Or however that goes?

Before I get to the point of what I was driving at in that last paragraph, I want to reiterate that I don't think these types of effects are good for people who don't have an interest in astrology. "Yeah, that's obvious, Andy." You would think so, yes. But then you see Texas Hold 'Em based routines advertised as being something you can perform for people even if they don't know Texas Hold 'Em. Which seems like a bizarre way to get into an effect. "Do you play Texas Hold 'Em? You don't? Uh... yeah, well anyway, here's a trick based on something you have no familiarity with or interest in."

I've seen astrology divination routines crash and burn for people without an interest in astrology. But it's not just because you're performing something for someone without a familiarity with the subject, although that's part of it. And it's not because people who are really interested in astrology are idiots. I mean... there's a good chance they are, but it's also possible to be really intelligent and just enjoy placing the filter of astrology over the world at times. It can just be a little game people play with themselves. 

And here's the reason why even smart people who believe in astrology are susceptible to an astrological divination—even if it's not very good. I kind of figured this out as I was talking to a woman at an outdoor concert a week or so ago. We had been camped out near each other before the event and struck up a conversation. At some point in the evening astrology came up. If I'm remembering correctly, it came up because we were talking about the actual night sky above us, and how nice it was to see live music outdoors in the early fall. Then she says, "What's your star sign. No! Let me guess." And this is verbatim, because I had her repeat it and I recorded it.

"I am going to guess you are a Scorpio. I would also say Gemini but you would have to have some planets in Scorpio. So I will probably be way off and you will say you are a Virgo. Or maybe you're an Aquarian."

"I'm a Capricorn," I said.

"I thought so," she said, grabbing my forearm. "That's why you like music so much. And it's why you're into traditions and things like that."

"I'm kidding," I said. "I'm a Libra."

"I knew it!" she said.

This is why people interested in astrology make such good spectators for a standard astrological divination sequence: A lifetime belief in astrology has trained them to remember the hits and forget the misses. 

In this case she didn't even get a hit. I told her what I was. But still, that moment where she considered Libra in her mind was enough to over-ride the five other zodiac signs that were actually suggested before that. 

And of course this would be the case. Anyone who doesn't "forget the misses" when it comes to astrology will have given up on astrology long ago. 

I'm no expert. I've been doing astrological divinations for all of 10 days. I watched a friend of mine perform Astrological in a bar a dozen times and get a pretty good response, and then I had this experience with the girl at the concert. Since then I've probably performed it 20 times and I enjoy it as a quick moment with the right person. (If they don't answer "yes" to, "Do you read your horoscope at all?" then I don't bother with it.)

You might think this doesn't fit in my wheelhouse. Guessing someone's zodiac sign has a bit of a "look at me" parlor trick aspect to it. I don't disagree with that. But the weird thing I've noticed—and it's certainly something I played up once I realized it—is that spectators will often take credit for the effect. I feel like most people who are interested in astrology like to identify with the traits they supposedly possess based on their sign. So when I say, "You're a Virgo," I don't get people saying, "Oh my god! He read my mind and knew my sign!" The feeling is more like, "Oh my god! I'm such a Virgo that he could tell just by talking to me." Even though they just when through a process of me offering letters. I feel like they forget that, just like they forget all their initial guesses before you finally tell them your sign. Or, at least that's been my experience. 

Prior to this I've only done one branching anagram effect regularly. And that was one of my own design. "Who's your favorite 9/11 hijacker?" I'd ask. As if people had a "favorite" one. Then I'd show them a list of their names so they could choose one. Then I'd use that name in the effect Pale Horse and Rider from The Jerx, Volume One which is something of a meta-presentation for branching anagram effects. 

Having done this astrology one so much over the past week or so, I've developed some thoughts on the branching anagram technique in general that I will write up for my next post. 

Until then... BEWARE I AM STALKING YOUR GIRLS NOW.

450 Minutes: Thumb-Writing Conclusion

30 days ago (from the time of this writing) I committed myself to a month of working on my thumb-writing skills every day for 15 minutes.

I used a Vernet band writer because that immediately felt good to me when I tried it out. I could never get the pressure I wanted with things that went under the nail or stuck to the pad of the thumb. And the full thumb-tip writers seem a little too bulky.

My method of practice was this:

1. First I worked my way through a kid's "Learn to Print" book.

2. For the rest of the days I would watch tv with the closed captioning on. I would read the text on the screen and write the last word on a pad with my thumb. Then when I was done I would write the new last word on the screen and so on and so on. So it was something of an organic random word generator.

This was where I was at on Day 1 (the video was sped up 50% to fit it into the GIF length)

Here is where I'm at as of Day 30 (this is also sped up 50%, but just for comparison's sake).

For me, this was a success. The writing tightened, is neater, and is completed in about 40% less time. You may look at that and still see it as messy, but it's about 85% as neat as my normal, everyday handwriting. And that's done one handed on a business card which is a fairly "hard" way to do this. 

For example, let's say I had a small pad in my hands. I write a word on the pad and set the pencil down on the table. I ask you to name any short word and I hold the pad against my chest with two hands as if to keep what I've written secret. In that case—with two hands, with my hands up to my chest, and writing on the support of a pad—the writing is certainly neat enough that I don't have to justify its messiness in any way (i.e., "I wrote a word down when I had just awoken from my nap. I was wearing oven mitts and resting the paper on the back of my dog.") It could be argued that the first version of "Love" in the picture below, which was thumb-written in the manner I just describe, may actually be neater than the second version which is just my normal handwriting.

You can see the progress throughout the month in this gif. From day to day there are no big differences, but at the end when it loops around to the beginning, there is a real Flowers for Algernon vibe to it, so I'd say there is definitely progress there. 

The purpose of this was to see if it was worth putting in the effort—15 minutes a day for a month. For me I'd say it definitely was. More than anything, I think the month of practice has made me hyper confident with things I was previously only ok at. Numbers and initials which used to look a little wonky are now pretty much indistinguishable from my normal handwriting. And I'm pretty comfortable writing any word with two hands on a pad, which I don't think looks that awkward. I may still insert some some time cushion into routines that use full words, because that's still helpful. For example, instead of having one person think of a word, have four people build the word letter by letter. That's probably actually more interesting anyway. 

One thing I haven't tried is thumb-writing with one hand with my head turned away and my hand at my side. When I was practicing I could always see what I was writing in my peripheral vision and my hand was in front of me. I'm curious to see what kind of results I get...hold on...

Okay, I'm pretty comfortable with that. Especially for a first time. If I had a routine that required that particular handling I'd work on it more.

I don't really have a ton of routines that require thumb writing, but it strikes me as one of the more valuable tools to have in your repertoire for creating magic seemingly off the cuff. For making predictions, reading minds, or having them read yours, there aren't many more direct methods than this. And as someone who values process-less mentalism over prop-less mentalism, it's definitely something I intend to keep up with. I will put the band writer and a pad on the back of my toilet. That way I should have a couple minutes a day to practice with it and keep from losing whatever advancements I made in technique.

The reason I wanted to get better with the thumb writer is because I love the trick where you're sitting a table with a group of people. You write a word on a piece of paper, then set the pencil on the table. You propose a game of word association and you whisper a word into the ear of the person on your left. That person is supposed to think of the first word that comes to their mind based on your word, and then whisper that word into the ear of the person on their left. And so it goes around the table until it gets back to the person on your right. They then announce their word to the table and you show you predicted it. It's nice because you only predict one word but it seems like you must have read everyone's mind around the table. If you want to give yourself an extra few seconds to write the word you can have everyone go around and say what their word was and what the association they made was. Before it even gets back around to you your prediction can be on the table well away from you. 

My thumb writing skills were never up to snuff for this, but I used to fake it all the time. It requires a reasonably nimble-minded friend sitting to your right. You "predict" the word tree, and then just tell your friend to say tree at the end of the chain. When everyone is giving their word and their thought-process for why that word came to them based on the previous word, your friend just needs to think of some correlation between the word that was said to him and the word tree. He's last in line so he has some time. If worse comes to worse there's an out. He just says, "When she said 'waffle' to me, it made me think of this tree outside my house when I was a kid. Someone had carved the word 'waffle' into it. Then we started seeing it all over the neighborhood on other trees. The police were called. It became a whole big thing on my street that summer.  And no one was ever able to figure out who did it or what it meant." 

MeTube

[On weekends I don't talk magic (although there is some magic here).]

I often get curious about quantifying things. And so today I decided to look at my 10 most viewed youtube videos (meaning the ones I myself have viewed the most), based on the play count on the videos I've downloaded. (If I haven't downloaded them, then I didn't watch them that much.)

#10 - Hands by The Raconteurs

Most people consider the Raconteurs to be Jack White's side project. In my opinion it's Brendan Benson's side project. He takes the lead on this song which is a perfect pop-rock number. But the video is what stands out to me. It's shot at a school for deaf girls (a real one, not like the school in Hot for a Teacher). I love exuberance so I adore the girls in this video. Dancing and singing along to a song they can't hear. The image of the girls sitting on the floor, feeling the rhythm coming off the bass drum head is one that always sticks with me.

And, more apropos for this site, Dynamo is inexplicably in the video. And he does my favorite card flourish where he spins the card out of the deck then kicks it back up into his hand. I'd pay good money to be able to do that with regularity, but I have a feeling it's the type of thing where you screw it up 20 times in a row before you get it right. Or at least it would be for me.

#9 - This Too Shall Pass by OK Go

I've spent a lot of time watching OK Go's one-shot masterpieces. But apparently this is the one that has garnered the most views from me. I bet magicians have an appreciation for Rube Goldberg machines that goes beyond that of the average person. I particularly like how the opening shot implies this is not the first time they tried this, so as you watch it unfold you can't help but imagine the process of putting it all back together to try again.

The other version of this song/video is great too. Also the video for this song is one that Jerry Andrus would have loved.

#8 -  Torn by David Armand

I have no idea if this guy is really well known in England or just a minor figure or what. He's pretty much unknown here. I've definitely seen him on some British panel shows, but as far as I know he may be a total joke there. Like Carrot Top or something. All I know is this is one of the first youtube videos I ever saw and it made me really appreciate the idea of something stupid done with commitment.

#7 - When the World Comes to an End by The Dirty Projectors

The women in The Dirty Projectors have the most haunting, mesmerizing vocal harmonies. I find them hypnotizing. I've posted this video before but that's only because I love it so much. Check out Gun Has No Trigger for another example of their talent. 

#6 - CollegeHumor's Lip Dub of Flagpole Sitta

I used to watch this a lot because it contained a number of friends of mine and other people I knew. If hipsters get you down, especially hipsters from 10 years ago, then you're not going to like it. These are the employees of the CollegeHumor website lip syncing the song Flagpole Sitta by Harvey Danger. This was the first "big" lip dub video that I know of. It's nowhere near as elaborate as the genre would become, but it's still pretty fun. Plus it taught me a life lesson I may one day share with you. And Flagpole Sitta is an all-time classic song.

#5 - Bonfire by Childish Gambino

One of my favorite songs by my favorite lyricist in rap today. You definitely will need Genius to uncover all the inside jokes and wordplay in essentially every line. The video is dope too.

#4 - Our Velocity by Maximo Park

The keyboardist for Maximo Park is a secret hero of mine. Keyboardists usually come off as fairly reserved musicians because they're tethered to their instrument. Hence the invention of the Keytar. But this guy goes just about as bonkers as you can while still being there to play the right notes. This is the attitude I try to attack life with.

#3 - Paul Harris' True Astonishments Promo

If this doesn't make you want to go out and perform magic for people then you simply have no desire to perform magic for people. Bro Gilbert was a revelation in this DVD set. His style of performance was a huge influence on the direction my style was going at the time. If you were one of those nutjobs complaining that Paul didn't perform the material on these DVDs, you're out of your mind. Paul is one of the best minds in magic, but his performances were always a long apology. They were dry and funny, but not good. Bro's energy and style were perfect for Paul's material. 

#2 - Witch's Wand by Sloan

In 2008 I went to Canada to work on the video for this song by Sloan. While there I met and fell for one of the actresses who I would go on to date for the next couple years. I'm sure I watched this video once a day over that period of time as a tonic for the long-distance-relationship blues. But the relationship was worth it, and this video is still one of my favorites ever.

#1 - Gale Sayers - 18 Inches of Daylight

Traditional motivational videos don't resonate much with me. I don't find people talking about how you should be motivated to be motivating. In the same way I don't find someone talking about the biological mechanics of laughter to be funny. But this video of Gale Sayers, specifically the first few seconds, has become something of a motivational mantra of mine.

Since I was a kid I always believed I could work my way out of any situation. I believed this even before I had actually ever worked my way out of any tough situations. I thought of myself this way when I was 8. It's probably why I was drawn to Houdini as a kid.

In high school, my guidance counselor said to me, "I read somewhere that the only animal in the world that likes to be backed into a corner is the tasmanian devil. I used to believe that until I met you." I had a habit of getting myself into sketchy situations, academically or behaviorally, but then ultimately finding a way to work out of those situations. I wouldn't say I liked it. But I also wouldn't say I minded it. 

There are certain qualities in life that you have as long as you believe you have them. I think the quality of being a real world escape artist is one of them.

I've always enjoyed watching Gale weave through defenders and juke them out of their jocks. And I probably like it the most because, on some subconscious level, I'm absorbing the symbolism of that. That you don't need your offensive line to open a gaping hole to get you to your goal. All you need is 18 inches of daylight.

The Girl at the Magic Show

Well, just be glad you're not an autism-struck eight-year-old, because according to this woman, it's not quite the welcoming environment.

This was Helder's response:

Now, as someone who has been referred to as "the world's foremost thought leader in magic today," (See The Jerx, September 29th 2016) I have been asked by a few people what my thoughts are on this subject.

The truth is, I can't really form an opinion on the situation without seeing a video or at least getting some unbiased accounts of the incident. The two sides of the story are almost hilarious when assessed in tandem. According to the mother (and you can read more of her account on her facebook page (it's a public post, loaded with hashtags, so I don't feel like a creep directing you there. It was meant to be read and shared.)) her daughter didn't disrupt the show in any manner, and according to Helder he "gently" asked for silence and just asked if "everything was okay." It all sounds so pleasant! How did this ever blow up into a thing?

By the mother's initial account Helder just singled out her daughter for no reason and then turned the crowd against her in a classic example of the "sociopathology of social collectives." By Helder's account this mother is upset because he asked if "everything was okay."

THIS IS WHY PROGRESS TAKES FOREVER, PEOPLE! It's a lot of cover-your-ass responses rather then dealing with the actual issues and what actually took place.

I've tried to look at this situation as just a smart, impartial person and here is what it sounds like actually happened. The young girl, unknowingly, was being disruptive to the show in some way. Helder addressed the situation in some ineloquent manner, and then the people behind the girl made some comment. The mother, being understandably hyper-sensitive to this issue, sees it as an attack. 

I would like to extend an invitation to the mother to tell her side of the story here, or to talk with me over the phone. I have a platform where her story can be told—I'm the most widely read single voice for magic commentary in the world (that sounds like my typical pompous nonsense, but it is, I'm afraid, a fact). Let's spread the word of what really happened. I mean, she'll never read this, so it's kind of an empty gesture on my part. But if she does, I would be more than happy to tell her side of the story. 

This is what I have to say...

To the mother:

Your daughter is adorable, and I have no doubt she is an absolute joy to be around and also probably a complete handful in ways that are both wonderful and frustrating. 

That being said, don't bring any 8-year-old to a show of dull card tricks. I know, you thought it was going to be something cool. A magic show! That will be spectacular! It's not really. It's card tricks. Your kid dodged a bullet by not having to sit through it.

Now, as I said, I don't really know what happened there. Obviously something happened that brought attention to your kid. And if it was just a brief outburst, then everyone should have let it slide. But if it was ongoing for more than a few seconds, it's just not acceptable. Nobody is free, regardless of their situation, to disrupt a show like that for the people around them. I'm certainly not blaming your daughter any more than I would blame a baby crying during a movie. The social contract is that everyone in the room has to be relatively quiet and not disturb the show. This is not about being unfair to anyone with a disability, it's about being fair to everyone in the room. I certainly never got to go anywhere when I was 8. I had no diagnosable issues, I was just a Dennis-the-menace style monster who couldn't keep his little butt in a seat or his mouth shut for 5 minutes. 

Again, I'm not saying your daughter did do anything to disrupt the show. I'm just saying if she did, then getting the boot is what had to happen. 

Regarding the people behind you who said something, I don't think this was an example of sociopathology of social collectives. I think they were annoyed some kid was making noise and disturbing their enjoyment of the show that they had paid for. They too probably should have handled things better. But I understand where they're coming from. I understand where everyone is coming from. And I appreciate you bringing the subject up because it's going to make me more aware of it and make me more patient in certain situations. I would have definitely been like the people behind you thinking, "ugh... why is this kid making noise? Why is this parent letting the kid make noise?" The idea that there might be some greater issue would have been the furthest thing from my mind. I'm sure I would have said something. Most likely to you, not the kid. But who knows. I'm not above talking trash to an eight-year-old. Bring it on, kiddo. Hell, I'd probably threaten a six-year-old if he bugged me enough. I'd do that thing where I point to my eyes with my index and middle finger then point to his, as if to say, "I've got my eye on you." Then I'd do the "zip your lip" gesture. Then I'd do the throat slash gesture. Then I'd be like, "Got it, buddy?" Then I'd run out of the theater at the end of the show, worried he would kick the shit out of me.

But seriously, I genuinely appreciate you raising this issue.

To Helder:

You don't know me. I saw Nothing to Hide in NYC and really enjoyed it. Good job. Hope the new show goes well.

I have bad news for you. When this story came out I heard from a few different people who know you, have worked with you*, or who know people who know you, and all of them were like, "Yeah, that sounds like something he might do. He's an asshole. He treats people like shit." And then they would repeat other stories similar to this of you treating audience members poorly. (Which is something else that I hope placates the mother. If he was rude, it wasn't because of your child or her situation, it's because he's a little bit of a bitch who can't keep his cool if things don't go 100% his way.)

I'm telling you this because it's a problem for you in one of two ways.

Either you don't know you come off like this, in which case it's good that I'm telling you so you can perform some self-assessment. Chill out. Read a book on how to interact with people. Stop calling people "dicks." Read this post. When something goes wrong on stage, see it as your opportunity to prove your magic and showmanship skills. Life is like surfing. You don't get a medal for standing on the board in calm seas. The whole point is to ride the waves. Don't flip out if something is going imperfectly on stage. You're not doing Our Town for chrissake, you're screwing around with a deck of cards. You can pause the show and address an issue calmly and get things back on track. You're talented enough. 

On the other hand, maybe you do know you come off this way. Maybe you think that's your schtick. "I'm the cool badass who calls people out." That's not how you're coming off. It comes off as insecure. It's insecure to be bothered by stuff like this. You know how I know? Because I'm a cool badass! We know our own kind. You know our most common reaction when things go wrong? It's this... "Huh? Okay, whatever."

Your girlfriend tells you she slept with another man and is breaking up with you:

Phony badass: "You bitch! How dare you. You're going to regret this. You're ugly anyway." Goes to her house that night, smashes her car window with a baseball bat, starts following her around when she's on dates, threatens to beat up any dude he sees with her.

Real badass: "Huh? Okay. Hit the bricks." Goes out that night and meets a cooler chick.

So you think we get bent out of shape when someone screws up a card trick?

"But you're a dick on this site. I can be a dick to people in real life," you say. This site is an act. Only dullards can't see that. I'm a dick with a heart of gold. And a dick of gold. You're a wildly talented magician. But you're not so good that people will put up with your shit in the long run. 

The Solution

I was thinking about this sweet little girl and how this situation should be addressed. Not in a broad sense. (In the broad sense I suppose if you're a parent of a child that has these types of issues you should inform the theater (which apparently the mom did) and the theater should inform the performer. It's probably also a good idea to say something to the people in the general vicinity. Then everyone should be cool. This doesn't give the kid carte blanche to do whatever they want. But it gets everyone on the same page.) As I was saying, not in a broad sense, but in this particular instance, with this particular little girl, I was thinking how on some level she must have been hurt to get kicked out of the show. Even if she's not processing things identically to the way someone without autism would. And regardless of how much of a prick Helder might be, or pretend to be, I'm fairly certain it wasn't his intention to upset a little girl and her mother. This is a new show, just opening, and he's on edge. There's some kind of disruption and he lashes out. It's understandable. But let's make things right.

1. Helder should visit the kid and put on a special performance for this girl, her mother, and any siblings or friends she wants to bring along. Just like 20 minutes. And do some fun stuff, not a bunch of card tricks 

2. At some point he should tell the girl, "I'm so, so sorry you didn't get to see the show the other day. There was a misunderstanding. I was told you were coming and I was so excited to have such an important guest that I wanted you to see my real fun show, not my boring card trick show. So I had you leave so it wouldn't spoil this show for you."

3. Mom gets two free tickets for her and a guest to see the show again. And Helder pays for a child-care service to watch her kids while she's at the show.

Boom. Problem solved. NEXT!

[*Updated to say that of the people who contacted me, none of them were Derek DelGaudio. So, if you're hoping to make that a thing, don't bother. I didn't even consider people might think that or I would have made that clear in my original post. For that matter it wasn't Neal Patrick Harris either. Although he did write me and ask me to do a hit piece on Max Casella, so look for that soon.]

Humanity's Twins

First, I want to thank David Martinez for sending along the idea that formed the foundation of this routine. It's an idea that is so good that it's seemingly obvious after you hear it. But I couldn't find anyone talking about anything similar online. 

This is a trick that uses Cards Against Humanity cards. Cards Against Humanity is one of the most popular party games in the word. It is a #1 bestselling game on Amazon in both the US and UK. Some of you will say, "Popular?! Well I've never heard of it." As if there's something noble about being disengaged from the world around you. I'm not quite sure that attitude comes across in the way you'd hope. Try this instead: "Popular?! Oh, interesting, I haven't heard about this. I'm completely out of the loop. Tell me about it."

Sure!

Cards Against Humanity is a game where there are black cards with questions or incomplete phrases on them.

Then there are white cards with nouns in the form of single words or phrases. Everyone has a bunch of white cards. Each round a black card is played and everyone submits the white card from their hand that they think pairs the funniest with the black card.

Then the judge for that round chooses which pairing they find funniest (without knowing who submitted what). The funniest answer gets a point.

(It should be noted that many of the cards are a little dirty or offensive. If you're one of the people who emails me to lecture me that "Smart people don't need to use bad words," you won't like this. Grow up, by the way. It's nonsense to get worked up by the language someone uses. Every "smart" comedian of the past 50 years has worked blue at times. "Not Bill Cosby!" Okay, you have that paragon of virtue on your side. "Not Brian Regan!" I know Brian well. I've worked with him. He's plenty dirty in his personal life. Not swearing on stage is a business decision for him.)

I perhaps don't need to go any further. Many of you will immediately see the value in this. This is one of the rare ideas on my site that I think might be equally as valuable to the professional as the amateur. You likely see a whole number of applications where you can substitute out meaningless playing cards, for these cards that are rich in concepts, ideas, and humor.

David's original idea was to use these cards in a Gemini Twins routine.

I particularly liked that idea for these reasons:

• the cards are naturally more interesting to spectators than playing cards
• the idea of matching up cards is inherent in the nature of how the game is played
• these cards allow for an endless amount of "natural predictions" (that is, a prediction that isn't made by the performer, but is something that is naturally occurring in the environment).

What follows is a version of the the trick where everything is very nicely contained. While I created the premise, and the prediction for the version that follows, the original idea to use CAH cards in a Gemini Twins trick is all David Martinez's.

Humanity's Twins

For this version we are going to match up these two cards

with these two cards.

The set-up is like this in the box.

Take out an inch or two of white cards so there is a little more room to maneuver in the box. All the white cards are on the right hand side, facing to the right. All the black cards are on the left-hand side, facing to the left. The black stack consists of this from the bottom up: the two target black cards, the two target white cards, the rest of the black cards. 

Cards Against Humanity is a party game. It's meant to be played with a lot of people. The premise of this trick is that you found a blog post with a procedure for the game to be played with two people. You ask your friend if you can try out a round just to get a feel for it, and you pull out the instructions from the blog and work your way through the steps. (There will be a pdf of these instructions at the end.)

You pull the black cards from the box for yourself and start mixing them up. You can do anything that doesn't disturb the bottom four cards. I would just cut off 2/3rds and overhand shuffle it back onto the rest of the cards. While you're doing this you ask your friend to take out a chunk of white cards. This is kind of a nice moment. In a traditional Gemini Twins routine it's a 2 in 50 type chance. But in this case it's going to turn out to be a 2 in 500 chance. And they're choosing the cards that are in play.

They shuffle their cards. While they do, you double under-cut your two bottom cards (the black target cards) to the top. Then take your stack in right-hand biddle grip. Take their cards in your left hand and place your stack on top so you can pick up the directions to read through them. You've now added the target white cards on top of the white stack. 

The directions will tell you to have your spectator (Player B) select any two black cards. You can force the top two cards of the black packet however you like. I've left room for interpretation in the directions about how the cards should be picked. I say you can use the "Harris method" this is just a generic term that justifies the procedure of any force you want. If you have some weird dealing force you can just tell them it's the "Harris method" for selecting two random cards. I say you can use the "Duo-Cut Method," which could be a cross-cut force or a cut-deeper force. And then I say, "Or any other random selection." So that justifies any method you want to use to force the two cards.

Now the instructions tell you, Player A, to cut the white cards twice and hand them to Player B. What you will really do is double under-cut the top card to the bottom and get a peak at that card as you hand the stack to your friend. 

You will then go through the Gemini Twins procedure which I'm not explaining because this isn't a site where I bother explaining shit like Gemini Twins. Go get your basics under you, son. The first black card you will give your friend is the one that matches up with the card you peeked as per the "prediction." 

So, at the end, your friend has matched up these two sets:

Black Card: Today on Maury: "Help! My son is ___________!"
White Card: Judge Judy

and

Black Card: Coming to Broadway this season, ___________: The Musical.
White Card: RoboCop

Once the cards are matched up and revealed you're going to go back to the instructions to continue reading them. As you do, you'll notice an ad on the side of the printed out blog page. The ad is this:

"What the... that's crazy." Point the ad out to your friend. Don't hit this first one too hard. I'd give it a couple of beets. "That's totally bizarre... what are the odds of that?"

Let the moment happen and then die down. You will flip to the second page of the instructions and start reading about the judging criteria for the game. Hold the page so your friend can see it too. Ideally they will notice the banner ad on this page. If they don't, then wait a couple of moments and act like you just noticed it. Toss the paper down on the table or couch and be like, "That's it. No way. I'm done. That's way too freaky." 

The nice thing is, at this point you can play the whole thing as just a trick that you wanted to try on them or you can play it seriously. The reason you can play it seriously is there really is a RoboCop musical. And that's a real theater it played at and the real dates it was there. So you can kind of play it off as a gag ending or you can play it off as a legit insane coincidence if you want. I just follow the spectator's lead on that. If they're like, "Well, why are these ads on a game website?" Just say, "Hmm... it must be a site where the ads are based on your search history. I don't know. I got the pdf off a guy on a gaming message board. I don't think the site it comes from exists any more." And you've successfully covered your ass. But honestly, if they're being that suspicious about it, I'd just be like, "Dude, it's a trick, goofball."

I never try to force a miracle. I just try to present something fun, different, and amazing and let them take it as far as they want.

I just present this trick to you as an example, of course. There are other ways to do the Gemini Twins routine with these cards, and there are other routines to use the Cards Against Humanity cards in. 

Here's the PDF with the game instructions. They don't really make sense after the point in the "game" where the trick would end. But who really cares at that point. You won't be continuing on.

Out of Context Magic Book Reviews

"[T]he book is OK." Steve Bryant, Little Egypt Magic on The Jerx, Volume One.

Gardyloo #14

Not every magical moment has to be a trick.

Extreme tipping on a late-nite Denny's visit.

Part of me hopes the waitress just picked it up, pulled it flat, then went and bought a can of Mr. Pibb with it.

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I was excited to find out my insomnia technique from the last post is not a "just me" sort of thing. Rob Dobson sent along a link to this article which identifies a similar idea called the Cognitive Shuffle. It doesn't have the stream of consciousness element which is what I associate with pre-sleep thoughts, instead it's a technique that involves thinking of random objects spat out by an iphone app. I don't know if this more-structured form would work better or worse for me, but his understanding of why it works is basically identical to my hypothesis of why my technique worked for me.

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I've been told The Magic Cafe is deleting any threads about The Jerx, Volume One that show up, despite the fact the book doesn't mention that place or Steve Brooks (nor does this site, very much, for that matter). I'm pretty sure it's some lackey who thinks it would upset Steve if a thread about something I did was left up. I've convinced myself that Steve is in no way that corny to get worked up about the mention of my site. But maybe he is? Who knows.

I'm not bringing this up to complain about it. I'm just bringing it up to tell you not to bother.

I think they think I'll be upset if they censor mentions of the site. I'm not. It makes me happy.

Similarly, I think people think I'm bothered if they talk shit about this site or the ideas on it. I'm not. I'm delighted by it. I guess I might be bothered if one of my magic heroes was doing the shit talking, but instead I get emails from those heroes telling me how much they like the site. 

I started this site to propose some ideas that I thought were counter to common magical thinking. And to critique those sorts of ideas which I think lead to a lot of hacky, dull, uninspired magic and that have fostered the perception of magic as being populated by unoriginal, boring, creeps. So when people send me emails saying "this person is talking trash about you" and then send me a link to him performing, I think they expect me to get upset and tear into the guy. But the video is always someone in the mold of what I find terrible about magic. It's always that unoriginal, boring, creep performing hacky, dull, uninspired magic. I didn't expect that type of person to enjoy this site. So I'm not mad that he doesn't. If he did like it I'd probably put my cards back in the card case, put the card case into my ostrich skin card clip from Dan and Dave, put the clipped deck inside a change-bag to vanish it, put the change bag inside a square circle to make it disappear, then kick the square circle off a fucking cliff. Oh, and I'd set fire to my laptop because clearly I don't know how to use it.

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You think you've had a bad day? I just realized I'm too dumb to understand the tweets of Chris Ramsay and Daniel Madison.