Monday Check-In #3

Hey, hey! How are you doing, Jerx-keteers!

That’s right…Jerx-keteers. I’m going with some new branding for the readers of this site. You see, I think it’s important that we stop seeing ourselves as just disparate magicians across the globe, but what I really want to do is foster a sense of community.

I’m just busting your balls. I don’t want a community with you goons. I’ve just noticed a lot of magic enterprises popping up talking about “developing a community.” A community? Of magicians? That you talk to online? Is that really what’s missing from anyone’s life? Isn’t there a soup kitchen you could be volunteering at? Is all the litter picked up in your town?

I get it. There’s the coronavirus and people are more isolated than ever before and these online communities are helping to keep you sane. That’s fine. But it seems like we may be dealing with more than just a temporary coping mechanism. It sometimes feels like the hobby of magic will more and more become magicians performing for other magicians from the safety of their homes. It’s kind of the most cowardly way to perform and engage with magic, which is why I’m guessing it appeals to so many magicians (who are notorious cowards).

I’m not trashing online lectures or groups or things like that. I think they can be a great resource if you’re taking that information and synthesizing it in a way you can use in your own performances. But it seems pointless to me if they just become another way to accumulate more information and more tricks without getting you out performing.

Also, “let’s create a community” is like sitting next to a stranger at the bus stop and saying, “let’s be best friends.” Friendship and community are things that are built out of a special connection between people or a group. Trying to create a sense of community from just anyone who has an interest in magic and $25 a month, or whatever, is a doomed enterprise.

All that being said, I’m really exited to introduce…

For just $85 a month, you can be a member of this exclusive Jerx Community.

Benefits include:

• Nightly Dinners: Fuck your family, come eat dinner at your laptop with the Jerx Platinum Community. We’ll share recipes and discuss variations on classic tricks which no normal spectator would be able to differentiate from one another.

• Jerx Sleepovers: Once a week, we’ll get together for a late-night virtual slumber party. We’ll braid each other’s hair, tell ghost stories, talk about what boys we think are cute, and read a chapter from Erdnase.

• Texting: You will get my personal cell phone number, from which I will sext you pictures of my penis once a day. [Jerx Platinum Plus (an additional $10/month) will also include my balls)]

• Custom Windbreaker

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A lot of the emails I’m getting recently are about schedule stuff. So just to clarify, here is the upcoming schedule (to the extent I know it at this point).

End of January - The books for the 2020 Rewards package will come in. At that time I’ll know if there are any extras and, if so, those will be offered to people on the waiting list for the 2020 package.

Beginning of February - 2020 Rewards packages ship.

Mid-ish February - The site starts back up again.

Late February - 2020 Supporters will get an email to see if they want to sign up for 2021. If we reach the sign-up threshold, then I’ll do another year.

End of February - Any open supporter slots will be made available on a first-come, first-serve basis (that will be announced on this site at that time.)

Monday Check-In #1

Whatup, brohams? How’s 2021 treating you so far? Mine has been pretty dope. I started my new year’s resolution to walk two miles a day on the 1st, and so far I’ve lost 40 pounds and got totally shredded. Here’s a picture of me. I hope your 2021 diet allows for a heaping helping of beefcake.

So yeah, you could say things are looking good.

New (Old) Schedule

When this site returns to regular posting at some point in February, I am going back to a Monday, Wednesday, Friday schedule. This was the schedule I used to use in previous years and I think it’s a better fit than what I was doing last year.

There will be some breaks as well, but otherwise it’s going to be Monday, Wednesday, Friday, every week of the month.

Also, this presumes that the supporters are interested in funding another year. If that’s not the case you won’t need to worry about the schedule either way.

New Blog

I’m likely going to be starting another blog for non-magic posts like the Saturday and Sunday posts that appeared on this site the past year.

I don’t really care about keeping the magic posts separate from the non-magic posts for the sake of magicians. The reason I’m doing it is to keep the magic posts out of view from people who stumble across this site by searching for something non-magic related that I talk about, like some obscure band, or how not to shit your pants.

This other blog will be completely separate from this one, with no magic content at all, so you don’t have to bother with it, unless you like to read a guy talking about the stuff that he enjoys.

That blog will be launched later this month. I’ll let you know when that happens.

Updates

For supporters: You should be getting an email from me late January collecting your shipping fee for the 2020 support package (and, in turn, getting your most recent address).

If you are outside of the U.S., it is very helpful if you add a telephone number to your paypal account profile. That number needs to be on international packages, and with the total shit-show that shipping has been in recent months, you’re going to want to have a way for them to contact you if need be.

For wannabe-supporters: If you wrote me at some point this year and asked to be on the waiting list for any extra “overage” copies of the book that the printer might deliver, you will hear from me if/when I know that any such copies exist (which won’t be until I have the delivery in hand). I assume there will be some, because in previous years there has been. But I only ordered the amount I needed, so I can’t guarantee there will be any. If you do end up snagging one of these potential extra copies, you will have a supporter slot going forward (if you want it).

For wannabe-wannabe-supporters: If you want to support the site in 2021, any unclaimed supporter slots will be made available in late February. Keep an eye on this site for details.

Thank You

To everyone who sent along a Christmas card last month. I really appreciate you helping me out. I ended up doing a couple different tricks that utilized them and they both went over very well and created some memorable moments this holiday season. I will share the details later this year with those of you who sent a card along.

Check-Ins

I’ll be back here on Mondays throughout January to say hey.

Hope your 2021 is off to a good start.

Until 2021...

Well, here we are again, my dears. It’s that time of year. The time of year when many of us will be visited by that man in the red suit who loves to have children on his lap.

It’s also the time of year when The Jerx winds down for a little while. That’s right, the 2020 Season of the Jerx has come to close. I’d like to think that this year we all learned a little about magic… and a lot about love.

I will be back with the occasional post in January, and then we’ll pick things up again for real at some point in February. Next year there will be a new schedule for everything. A new posting schedule, a new newsletter schedule, and a new supporter reward schedule (assuming the supporters decide to keep the site going for another year). I’ll get to those details sometime next month.

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So, we’ve got 10 days until the new year. Are you making some resolutions? Do you have some plans and goals for next year?

As someone who is naturally a happy person and generally pretty excited by life, I’m always looking for the ways in which my mindset differs from those I see around me who don’t feel this way. And hopefully, if I can find those differences, I can maybe elucidate them in a way that might be helpful to others who don’t naturally have my same predisposition.

Today I want to share something I’ve been thinking about in regards to some of the people I know who seem a little dissatisfied with their life.

So maybe you find yourself in a decent relationship, you have a good job, and a couple of sweet kids. And even though that is all you ever wanted, you still feel like something is lacking. And it doesn’t really make sense to you because you feel something is lacking, even though you’re not sure what it could be. Well… how important could it possibly be if you’re not sure what it is you’re lacking? How could something you can’t even put your finger on be the thing that’s standing between you and greater happiness?

Well, I think it might be because the thing you’re missing is a little abstract. It’s not something obvious like family, a house, financial security, etc. It’s not something you can immediately recognize in other people, so it’s not something you necessarily notice about yourself either.

So what is this missing ingredient for a happy, exciting life?

A scheme.

I know I have a number of readers who don’t speak English as a first language, so I’ll explain what I mean by a “scheme” if the word doesn’t translate exactly.

A scheme is like a plan to achieve a goal, but it’s a particular type of plan. It’s a plan to achieve a goal that is somewhat romantic or reckless in some manner. And a scheme should have some element to it that is a secret. Something known only by you.

• I’m going to lose 20 pounds.

• I’m going to learn how to crochet.

• I’m going to set aside $500/month for my child’s college fund.

Those are all fine goals or resolutions to make for New Years. But they’re not schemes.

• I’m going to wake up an hour early every day without telling anyone and work on my first novel.

• I’m going to win that woman’s heart.

• I’m going to rob a bank.

Those are schemes.

A scheme really has to have some sort of aspect of sneakiness to it. “I’m going to lose weight and get healthy,” wouldn’t qualify as a scheme. But, “I’m going to lose 80 pounds. Buy the tightest yoga pants I can find. Then ‘accidentally’ bump into my boyfriend at the grocery store,” is a scheme. Even though the outcome may be no different than “I’m going to lose weight and get healthy.”

Here’s why I think a scheme is valuable. A lot of adult life is just about treading water. You’re just doing what you’ve been doing for some time in order to keep yourself in the same position. Even if you’re successful at this, it can be unsatisfying. Being an adult is about making smart decisions and sensibly pursuing the goals that will set you up to meet your future needs.

A scheme, however, is geared towards adding something to your life. Something you don’t necessarily need, but something you’re passionate about that will bring you pleasure. That might be: money, sex, revenge, fun, or some sort of new achievement/experience. No, you don’t necessarily want to devote your life to any of these things. But you should have some part of your life that is spent in their pursuit.

I’m not saying it’s just about doing things you enjoy. It’s about having some sort of plan in place to get you something you desire. “I’m going to pay that prostitute for sex,” is not a scheme. “Over the next six months, I’m going to seduce that prostitute to the point where she pays me for sex,” is a scheme.

A lot of people romanticize their young adulthood. It’s often a time they look back on fondly even if things weren’t going great for them at that point in time. I think that is, in part, because young adulthood is a time for scheming. “I’m going to start a band.” “I’m going to find a way to get some money to buy that motorcycle.” “I’m going to practice every night this week and get the lead part in the school play.” “I’m going to get out of this dead-end town.”

When you’re sixteen you might think, “I’m going to ask that girl to prom.” You might think that months in advance, even if you never spoke to her before.

When you’re young you spend a lot of time thinking of ways to capture new objectives. New skills, new friends, new loves, new jobs, new interests, new experiences. As you get older, it becomes more about maintaining what you have, or—if you have kids—putting your time and effort into helping them achieve their goals. If that’s where you are, and you’re perfectly happy, then you don’t need to change anything. But if you feel like you’re missing out on something, you may be missing the act of pursuing some private goal. Not a goal of lowering your cholesterol or getting a promotion. Being healthy and making more money are pretty much universal goals that are just a normal part of being an adult for everyone. What I’m talking about is something personal.

This is not a selfish act. It’s a way to keep yourself engaged in the world and growing.

You can be the most devoted husband/wife, and your family can be your number one priority, and you can still have your own little scheme going on in the background.

And I think it’s important that it’s something you keep secret. Or, at least, that you don’t divulge what you’re doing entirely to anyone else. Your scheme is your own little project or objective. The only one who has a complete understanding of it is you. Once your scheme concludes, then you can share it with anyone you want (as you will be on to the next scheme). But while it’s still active, I think it’s best if it’s something you keep to yourself.

Again, if you’re very happy and feel excited with what’s happening in your life, this advice isn’t for you. This for anyone who feels unfulfilled.

Will working on a scheme make you happy and fulfilled? I don’t know. I just know that part of what keeps me fully engaged and loving life is that I always have something up my sleeve that I’m working on. Something I can focus on, daydream on, and act on. Some schemes last weeks, others years. But I like to always have something in the works.

(In addition to your little schemes, I also recommend having one big unachievable goal as well, as I wrote about here. In fact, often my schemes are a part of my unachievable goal. They can work together.)

So there’s your 2021 mission. Get yourself a scheme and start implementing it.

That’s all for this year. Supporters have one more newsletter coming their way. You should have it by New Year’s Day.

Hope your holidays are a delight. I’ll see you in 2021.

Merry Christmas! Happy New Year!

The Juxe: Hark! Part Two

Just a few more Christmas favorites before the holiday comes.

Baby It’s Cold Outside from Neptune’s Daughter

Baby it’s Cold Outside isn’t really a Christmas song. Like, “Let it Snow,” it’s just a song about wanting to get freaky when it’s cold out.

It’s hard to beat this version of the song, from the film where it originally became famous, Neptune’s Daughter in 1949.

My favorite take-off of this song is this sketch from Saturday Night Live featuring Jimmy Fallon and Cecily Strong. It never fails to crack my shit up.

I Wish It Was Christmas Today by Julian Casablancas

Speaking of Saturday Night Live, Horatio Sanz made it a tradition for a number of years to sing an intentionally dumb Christmas song called “I Wish It Was Christmas Today,” on the show.

Now, I wouldn’t ever listen to that version of the song just as an audio track. It really only works if you can watch the stupidity that surrounds it. But Julian Casablancas from the Strokes released a surprisingly listenable version of the song that does stand on its own.

Christmas Party by Dr. Dog

This 60’s-inpsired, upbeat, lo-fi Christmas song, is a pretty good encapsulation of my personal esthetic. This year really has me missing gatherings of even just, like, 15-20 people. Hopefully in the not-too-distant future things will return to normal and in 2021 there will be good old fashioned Christmas parties again.

8 Hours of Department Store Christmas Music

This isn’t even something I realized I missed. This is the sound of wandering through a department store at Christmastime when I was a kid. These days, I think most stores play a more modern mix of songs. But I wouldn’t really know because there aren’t that many department stores left.

This might be good background music for your Christmas day celebration.

Merry Xmas Everybody by Slade

I’ll leave you with this modern Christmas classic. While this song reached #1 in the UK (and continues to chart most Christmas seasons) it never cracked the charts in the US. So this isn’t something I heard regularly until a decade or so ago. It’s now the song I blast once all the presents are open, while we’re cleaning up the torn wrapping paper and organizing our gifts.

Tying certain songs/albums to particular moments of your celebration (e.g., an album you listen to after the kids have gone to bed on Christmas eve, an album you listen to during Christmas morning breakfast, and album you listen to while you decorate the tree) is an easy way to create a sense of tradition. (And that goes beyond Christmas.)

Improvised Tricks: The One With the Clue Game

I was at a small socially-distanced Christmas gathering last night where I improvised a couple tricks and I figured I would write one up for you here. This is not something I normally do, because—by their nature—you wouldn’t expect improvised tricks to be as strong as ones that you’ve planned. (Or else, why ever plan anything?) But while I wouldn’t put the trick I’m going to share with you into the upper echelon of tricks I’ve performed, it went over very well, got a laugh, and people seemed to be more fooled and taken with it as the night went on.

My friend has a decent collection of board games, so that’s what I utilized when coming up with what I would perform for them.

I took down the game Clue and offered to show them something.

I had the group shuffle up the cards (with the characters, weapons, and rooms on them) while I wrote something down on a sheet from the pad used in the game. I then tore the sheet into three piece and put those pieces in the envelope from the game.

I collected the cards and shuffled them some more, then had someone cut the pack into three piles.

“The cards on top of the piles you cut will tell us who was the killer, what the weapon was, and in what room it happened.”

“So…” I turned over the top card of the first packet to reveal Miss Scarlett.

“The killer was Miss Scarlett…”

I turned over the next top card to reveal the Billiard Room.

“In the Billiard Room. With the…,” I turned over the last card to reveal Mr. Green.

This seemed like a mistake. With Clue you need a killer, a room, and a weapon. And while there’s no reason why three random cuts in a pack of Clue cards would get you one from each category, it just felt like that was what we were going to get because I was leading up to it so confidently. “It was Miss Scarlett, in the Billiard Room, with the ______.” You just expect a weapon to come up, not another character.

So I paused and pretended I was stumbling to make sense of what we had. “Okay, Miss Scarlett killed the victim in the Billiard Room with… uhm… with… well, I guess she beat him to death with Mr. Green’s fat fucking head. It’s kind of the perfect crime when you think about it.

“Now, before anything happened, I made a prediction. And I think even if I just got two out of three right, that would be pretty impressive.”

I removed my prediction from the envelope to reveal this…

Method

It’s pretty straightforward. I stole out the three force cards beforehand while I was looking through the cards and then palmed them back in after the shuffling. (You could also ring them back in under the “Detective Notes” pad.) Then I used John Bannon’s Directed Verdict to force the three cards. There you have it.

This type of thing—where it appears you’re going to do some sort of prediction, but then something goes wrong during the process, and then you show that you’ve predicted that thing that would go wrong—almost always gets a good reaction in a group situation. It’s not something I would typically do one-on-one, but I use it frequently when I’m performing for a larger group.

The nice thing about this format is that it adds an element of surprise to tricks that might not otherwise have one. If I just predicted the Clue cards you’d cut to, you might be fooled, but you wouldn’t be surprised by that, because you would likely put it together that that’s what was going to happen. But with this format, if you can pull off the idea that something went wrong, you get the “surprise” of them realizing that you actually predicted this “mistake.” And then, on top of that, you get the benefits of fooling them. So it’s two nice moments from the same effect.

The Three Most Inspiring Live Lectures of 2020

Carisa Hendrix Penguin Live Act

I have zero desire to perform magic on stage. But if I were ever to do so, this is the person I would look to for inspiration. I really admire her ability to embody her character so completely. It’s nice to see a character on stage that isn’t either the suave, dashing gentleman, or the intense, weirdo. And because she’s chosen a persona that is so specific and well-defined, she is able to breath new life into classic effects just by making them conform to her character. You can’t do that if you have a bland character.

You can certainly make a living doing magic by doing standard tricks in a standard manner. But I think if you really want to do something transcendent, then you either have to have material or a persona that an audience will see as unique. Then you can mold your personality around the material, or the material around your personality and you will have a show that is distinguished from what everyone else is doing. But if you’re just doing the same things a lot of other people are doing, in the same style, then it’s like trying to make an impression of Play-Doh with Silly Putty. (That metaphor may have worked better in my head. I just mean you can’t expect to create something precisely-defined by utilizing two amorphous, formless things.)

What I enjoyed most about watching Carisa perform was that she seemed so comfortable in her own skin, and in the skin of Lucy Darling, the character she performs as. I love a confident performer (and magic is not filled with a lot of them). She is so at home in that persona that she is able to ad-lib (or seemingly ad-lib) with ease, which is a lot of fun to watch. And it also makes her character feel three-dimensional, like a genuine person—even though the character is highly theatrical in most other ways.

One of the more frequent questions I get over email is how to incorporate some of my performance ideas into a professional show. But I don’t think that’s really a worthwhile pursuit. A lot of my “style” is about stripping away the elements that make something a “performance.” I don’t think that makes much sense to do on stage. Instead, I think people would be better off following the path Carisa Hendrix has chosen and lean into the performative aspects of a professional show with a stronger character (or if character isn’t your thing, then a stronger story-line). Of course that’s a much more difficult path than just saying, “Screw it. I’ll just put a bill in a lemon and recite some jokes I heard other performers say.”

So, yeah, while I don’t have any plans to perform on stage, or professionally in any capacity, I thought Carisa made it look fun. Whereas with most shows I see, it looks like a fucking nightmare.

Blake Vogt Masterclass

Blake Vogt is one of the premiere gimmick inventors/makers in the art today. I was not expecting to get much from his Masterclass as I’ve avoided making gimmicks for, literally, decades now. It’s not that I’m against putting in the work. It’s just that I never felt particularly well suited for that type of work. It’s the type of thing where half a millimeter can be the difference between a good looking gimmick and having to start over altogether. I don’t like anything that delicate.

But Blake made it seem very doable and his enthusiasm for the process won me over. The second card I tried to split after watching him, I split perfectly. It was very satisfying. I’ve since picked up the basic gaff making supplies he recommends in the Masterclass and I plan on putting them to work in the new year.

Mario the Maker Penguin Live

What the previous lectures have in common is that in each case I didn’t expect them to speak to me in the way that it did. Mario the Maker’s Penguin lecture was a surprise in a similar way. Mario’s lecture covers the material he uses in his act which is primarily geared towards children. His target audience and his esthetic aren’t anywhere near mine, but I found his philosophy on making magic to be inspiring and his enthusiasm infectious.

Like all great children’s performers, Mario has the type of manic energy that you normally associate with our finest crack addicts. But he has harnessed that energy and directed it into an affinity for tech/electronic-based DIY magic making. It was fascinating to see the things he has built for his show. Things that are somehow simultaneously wildly complicated and stupidly simple.

And I was really inspired by his passion for this type of magic. I want to start building electronics and learning Arduino (whatever the hell that is) and seeing if there are ways to incorporate that into a more laidback style of magic. Even if not, I think it will be fun to learn. I’ll be ordering his book on Amazon, which will hopefully set me off on the right path. And I plan on buying some of those “build your own” electronics kits that are made for eight-year olds and/or dumb people like me. I’m excited for it.

The Young Magician's Guide to Gift Receiving

This is advice for everyone, but it’s especially targeted at any younger magicians who might read this site. First, because they’re more likely to run into the situation I’m going to describe. And second because they’re more likely to handle it poorly.

If you’re, like, a 15-year old kid, and word gets out that you’re into magic, you will undoubtedly encounter a situation where you get a Christmas present from your aunt and she’s like, “I got you this book because I heard you like magic!” and it’s some piece of garbage beginner magic book she found at Barnes and Noble.

Or someone will say, “I know you like magic so I got you this deck of playing cards.” And it’s some weird souvenir deck of cards that’s bridge-sized and the cards don’t spread well and there’s no border. It’s the sort of deck you’d never use for a trick.

Or they might even be like, “I know you like magic so I got you this cool Criss Angel Magic Kit!”

In your heart you might be bummed out, but the game you should play is to try and make the person feel great about their gift.

“But I don’t really like the gift.”

I know, but who gives a shit about your dumb feelings?

If you get a gift you don’t love, don’t sulk like a three year old. Instead, take this opportunity to make the other person feel good by being a gracious gift receiver, and set yourself up to perform a trick in the future.

When You Get A Deck You Don’t Like

Bad Reaction: “Mommmm! I told you I need cards printed by the US Playing Card Company! These aren’t going to fan right! Jeez louise. I’m not going to use these cards with the Grand Canyon on the back. I wanted those Ellusionist cards with the cool skulls on it. Dang!”

Good Reaction: “Oh, nice! These are cool. I’ve never seen anyone with this deck. I will think of you every time I use them.”

Set Yourself Up: “I’m going to find a trick that these will work well for, and I’ll show you something soon.”

If they ask any further questions about what you mean about a trick “these will work well for,” you say something like: “Well, all decks are different. They have different finishes, different weights, slightly different sizes, that sort of thing. A lot of beginner tricks can be done with any deck. But some of the more advanced stuff you can only do with decks that work well for that particular trick. I’m going to find something that these cards would be perfect for.”

Not only does this suggest that you’re doing some advanced and interesting stuff (not just card tricks you could learn at the library). But now, when you gather your gift givers to show them a trick (and you’ll want to show them a truly great one), they’ll feel like they’re seeing something special that maybe you’re only able to do because you have this particular deck—the one they gave you.

When You Get A Book or Magic Kit You Don’t Care For

Bad Reaction: “What the…? Joshua Jay’s Big Magic for Little Hands? What the crap is this? I don’t want this kiddie bullshit by this weirdo who’s creeping on kids and their hand sizes! I’m 12-years-old, for cripe’s sake! I’m practically a man. Ask me what I flippin’ want before you spend money on this stuff, you stupid idiot. Sorry, but you are. This Christmas sucks.”

Good Reaction: “Oh, sweet! This looks very interesting. Thank you, Grandma! You’re the best.”

Set Yourself Up: “As soon as I can, I’m going to learn something from this and show it to you.”

Now, what you do is you perfect the best trick you can think of—something far better than anything that can be found in the gift they gave you. And the next time you see the gift giver, you say, “Hey, I have something to show you from that book (or magic set).” And you show them your most amazing trick. They should be excited because you learned this great trick from their gift. With any luck, they’ll buy themselves a copy of the gift they gave you and look for the secret to the trick, and be bewildered when they can’t find it.

I’ve written in the past about the subject of Hooks. That is, something you have, or do, or say, that can lead you into a trick. Instead of looking at a junky deck or a beginner book as a bad gift, look at it as an ideal Hook for a future performance. “Hey, I wanted to show you something from that book you got me.” There’s no better way to get into a trick and bring them some joy, even if the reality is that it doesn’t come from that book or that magic kit or whatever. You see, the truth of the matter is that there are no bad magic gifts. Even a bad gift can be a good Hook. So put a smile on your face and be grateful. And then, at some point in the future, use their gift as a Hook to break their brain.

Now, you might say, “Okay, but what if it wasn’t a bad gift from a well-intentioned loved one? What if it was a bad gift from someone who just put no thought into the gift at all? They just said to themselves, ‘Ah, he likes magic. I’ll get him this deck of cards and be done with it.’”

Well, in that case, my advice is just the same. Turn the gift around and use it as a Hook for a future performance.

You see, this isn’t just magic advice. This is good practice for a mindset that you should develop where you are able to take everything you’re that comes your way—whether that be gifts you’re given, comments someone directs towards you, bad breaks you get, or life situations that are dealt you—and turn them into something positive.