Field Report: Beginner's Magic

"I want to learn magic!" she says. Which usually means, "I would like to immediately have the knowledge and skill to do the cool, fun stuff you've shown me after you've practiced magic 20+ years. What I don't want to do is have to trudge my way through the dull, boring things and practice to actually learn this stuff."

It was my girlfriend, Lynn's, birthday and since she had shown an interest in learning magic I had planned this moment for her.

She opens up one of her presents and it's a beginner's magic book. "That one looks pretty good," I say. "It comes with a DVD which will probably make things easier to learn."

Later that evening we are laying together, flipping through the book. "Oh, that's a good trick," I say. "Let me try it for you."

I ask her to pick a card. She slides out one card, the ace of diamonds, and slides it back into the deck. I ask her to shuffle the deck. She hands it back to me. "Now watch this," I say. I cut the cards numerous times, each time reciting a letter to go along with the cut. "H-A-P-P-Y-B-I-R-T-H-D-A-Y. Now, you had a free choice of any card in the deck, and you shuffled it back into the deck, correct? All I did was spell "Happy Birthday" and we landed on one card, your card, the four of spades," I say, flipping the card over. 

"That wasn't it," she says.

"Ok... Oh, it's the one after the last letter. Sorry. Your card... the eight of spades?"

"No," she says.

I fan through the cards. "Huh.... well... whatever, when you learn the trick you'll have to show it to me because I guess I forgot it." We turn on the tv and watch for a few moments.

"Sorry," I say, "this is driving me crazy." I flip through the magic book and start reading and say under my breath, "But that's exactly what I did." I pause a moment. "Would it be okay if I watched the explanation off the DVD? If I don't it's going to bug me all night." She says that of course it's okay and I take the DVD and pop it into my laptop. I cue it up to the right segment and start watching the explanation with her.

The magician/author on the screen says, "At this point the selected card should be seventh from the top." He executes a series of cuts and says, "And that will bring their selection to the top of the deck. In this case, the king of clubs."

"Of course, the king of clubs wasn't your selection, was it Lynn?" the guy on the DVD asks my girlfriend. 

"Oh my god," she says.

"No," the magician says, "I think this was your card." He gives the King a flick and it turns into the Ace of Diamonds. "Happy Birthday, Lynn."

She sets the laptop aside and climbs on top of me and grabs my collar in mock anger. "I knew it!" she says. 

"Knew what?" I ask. "That the author of that magic book would make a special video for you where he changed a card into the card you freely picked earlier?"

She sighs. "No... I didn't know that. I just knew something was up. You wouldn't mess up my birthday trick."

"Good point," I say.

She leans down so our noses almost touch. "Tell me," she growls.

"Tell you what?"

"How he knew my card!" she whimpers.

"Oh," I say, "it's in the book."

It wasn't in the book. It was a one-way force deck with some indifferent cards thrown is as convincers. But I knew it would get her to read the book more carefully.

How did I do it?

Well, the first thing you need to do is write a somewhat popular magic blog and garner a few fans, one of whom should be a latent beginner's magic book author who is a good enough guy to be generous with his time for someone he doesn't know. This guy should be a Joshua Jay type. For me it was, in fact, Joshua Jay.

Then, five years after you shut down your blog you should email this guy and say, "Hey, I plan on getting my girlfriend one of your books for her birthday. Would you mind shooting a video and emailing me the file so I can use it as part of the gift?" Once you get the file you just have it on your computer and act like you're playing the DVD, but really you're just firing up the file that was sent to you. Presto. 

Am I a Pretender or an Addict?

I got this intriguing email from Daniel Madison a few days ago.

Oooohhhh... what a juicy little question. Am I a pretender or an addict? You know, the embarrassing thing is... I've never even thought to ask myself that! Talk about the unexamined life not being worth living.

Well I thought I owed it to myself to really dig deep and find out. You know, considering it is Cheat Week and all. (Cheat Week is when we go down to the docks and operate the business end of a glory-hole. Wait... no... that's Fleet Week. Cheat Week is... hold on... I have no idea. Let me find out. Oh... got it... it's some uninspired Ellusionist promo.)

Okay, now... I think I may be a Pretender. I've acquired my skills "for entertainment, not survival." Although there was that one time, while traveling through darkest Africa, when I bashed that guy's skull in with one of those wooden ducks that finds a card from Collectors Workshop. Of course, it turned out that the guy I killed was my interpreter and traveling partner, Obatku, and not a spooky ghosty or a bear as I had thought in the moment, so it's questionable how much I needed to kill him for my "survival." In retrospect, when he screamed, "Andrew, it's me, Obatku, please stop beating me with that duck!" I should have taken a step back and reassessed the situation. But as it was happening I just thought, "Fuck no. This bear can talk and imitate people? That's the most dangerous creature in the world. This ends now!"

So, perhaps I'm actually an "addict."

Let's look at these criteria again:

  • They McMillan switch their credit card for yours.
  • They haven't picked-up a tab in years, and they probably won't EVER.
  • Cheating consumes their life,
  • and their only real friends [are] the court cards. 

Well... I'm enough of an "addict" to know it's actually the MacMillan switch. So I guess that's a point in my favor. But can you imagine what a badass you would be to switch out your credit card for someone else's! I can see myself doing that. Like my buddy puts his credit card down to pay for dinner and I -- super nonchalantly -- just MacMillan switch in my own credit card! Hahaha, the sucker! Oh, fuck... wait... now that means I'm paying for dinner. Waitress! Come back! What the fuck did I just do? Why would I ever switch in my credit card. That's something only a moron would do...

Wait.

Ohhh... I see now. Is "addict" some kind of code word for having an intellectual disability? I mean, if you met someone and they're like, "This is our son Petey. Look out, because Petey will switch in his credit card for yours. He's been racking up a hell of a credit card bill this way, which he is in no position to pay off. In fact he hasn't picked up a tab in years, and probably won't EVER. How could he? He's essentially unemployable. Pick up a tab? He's 34 and wears a diaper and you want him to buy your club sandwich, you creep? Look at him. His only friends are the court cards. If that's not the most depressing thing you've heard in your life, you don't have a heart. Excuse me... what's that, sweetie? The Jack of Clubs wants to look at trucks out the window? Okay, darling, you two go do that."

What are some other indications of being an "addict"? Your walls are smeared with feces? You don't know your multiplication tables?

Of course, Daniel Madison, who is incredible with a deck of cards and has some brilliant ideas, is the perfect person to differentiate between a "pretender" and a real cheating "addict." He has been pretending to be a card cheat since he arrived on the scene in magic. He has a whole goofball origin story of how he used to be a crooked underground gambler until he was nearly beaten to death after he was caught cheating, which led him to take up magic. The story is ridiculous and blatantly untrue (although Magic Magazine did, embarrassingly, write a profile on him where they reported it as if it was completely credible). I mean, I have no doubt he got the shit kicked out of him early and often, but that goes for 90% of you in magic. However, "The boys at school stuck my head in the toilet, gave me a swirlie, and now my only friends are the court cards," doesn't have quite the same ring to it. Daniel had enough esthetic sense to not want to be associated with magic so he made up the story of magic being his fallback. I understand why he did it, but unfortunately he couldn't really keep his story straight and the timeline was in no way believable. (It was essentially, "I sprouted my first pube, and then I became an underground gambling legend.") I completely get why he didn't want to come out originally as just a guy who was really into magic. But I think we're approaching a tipping point in magic's perception. Not where it's cool, but where it's not inherently uncool. And I think Daniel Madison, with his skill and style, could help in that transition if he wasn't so apologetic about why he's in magic in the first place. So come clean, Daniel. Join us. Become a pretender. Embrace it.

Whiskeys up!

Oh, and before I end this post commenting on an email ad I received, I'd like to quickly mention another one. Did anyone else get this sick email?

Screen Shot 2015-09-01 at 1.53.39 PM.png

Uhmmm... okay.... I admit I didn't read this super carefully, but it appears that Vanishing Inc is planning on selling Andi's baby and Josh's wife? Or maybe raffling them off as some sort of promo? This is some sick, twisted shit. I'm sorry... I like to have fun on this site, but sponsoring white-slavery in order to push a few more copies of Blomberg Laboratories, or whatever, is simply not acceptable to me. Sorry, Vanishing Inc, but this demented little promotion gets a big "No Thanks" from the Jerx.


100

This site has now been running with daily posts for 100 straight days. You all owe me big time.

People often email me asking what my plan is with the site and if I'm going to keep posting on this schedule. When I started this site I had a backlog of 80 topics I wanted to get to. It is now 100 days later and I have a backlog of 126 topics. The site itself is kind of self-perpetuating. I'm always finding something new to write about in magic and I every time I write up an effect or presentation I think of two new ones. So you can expect daily posts to continue for as long as I have the time to write this site. (It's time, not content, that will be in short supply eventually. Unless Ellusionist or somebody wises up and hires me on full-time as a blogger to create content for their site. I can do it, Brad Christian! We'll invert the colors on this site, making it mostly black. And put some cool skulls over the cats faces. And I'll be the guy at the beginning of demos to say stuff like, "Hi, I'm the Jerx, and this... is Cum-Stain," and then I'll kind of cover the lens with the palm of my hand as if I just don't give a shit, cause I'm a total badass. Of course for this specific example you'll need a trick called Cum-Stain. Maybe a trick where you slide a cum-stain around on your shirt or something? And then you slide it off your shirt and onto your spectator's shirt. And then she slaps the shit out of you? I'm just spitballing here. Wait, wait... "I'm the Jerx, and this... is Spitball." See? I'm a natural.)

Okay everyone, see you at 101.

The Baby Who Knows

Effect

Your friend's unborn baby is clairvoyant.

Imagine

I'm visiting my friend Rebekka who is pregnant with her second child. 

"This is one of the oldest tests there is for psychic powers," I say. I give her a die and a little plastic canister and ask her to hold both behind her back. I tell her to roll the die around in the palm of her hand a little and then to put it in the canister and cap it. I ask her to hand the canister to me and I slide it into another plastic canister and set the whole thing on the table. 

"That die is now inside an plastic canister, which is inside another plastic canister. In the field of psychic research this is what's known as a "double blind" test." [Yes, of course I know it's not, but that's never stopped me.] "Imagine we opened the larger container and removed the smaller container, and then we opened the smaller container and looked down on the die inside there. Some number will be pointed up at us, yes?" She agrees. "Do you know what number that would be?" She says she doesn't. "Right, because you did it randomly. And if you don't know what it is, then I surely can't know what it is. And there's no way to tell by looking at the canister is there?" She picks it up and examines it and shakes her head.

"If someone in this room was psychic they could know what it is, but I'm not, and you're not." I pause for a little bit. "But maybe she is," I say, pointing to her stomach. 

"I can't wait to see where this is going," she says.

"Many people believe it's possible that unborn children are able to perceive and pick up on things that they can't after they leave the womb. But it's almost impossible to test because they don't understand language so we can't communicate with them in that way. But we're going to try and see if we can get her to tell us how many spots are pointing up on the die inside this canister. Are you ready to try?"

She says she is. 

I ask her to hold onto the canister between both hands. "I can't just ask your kid to answer the question. No one can. At least not with language. But there are those who believe you can with your thoughts. Let's try it. I want you to close your eyes. Now picture the canister you hold in your hand. I want you to see it sharp and focused in your mind. Now picture opening it up and removing the smaller canister. Still keep it a sharp image until I tell you otherwise. Now imagine popping the top off the smaller canister but don't look inside yet. So take off the cap in your imagination, keeping everything in focus. In a moment I want you to imagine looking into the canister, but when you do I want you to imagine that what you see is unclear and unfocused and kind of hazy, like a dream, okay? Okay, look in the canister and I want you to see a blank white cube. And there are black spots floating above it. They are fading in and out. Sometimes one dot, sometimes two, all the way up to six. Do you see that? Okay. In a moment I want you to take that image that you're picturing and I want you to imagine pushing it towards the back of your brain and down your spinal cord. Almost like you're swallowing that image in your mind. And when you're done I want you to open you eyes." After a second she opens her eyes. 

I ask her for the canister and hold it in my right hand between my thumb and forefinger. I shift myself closer to her and place my left hand gently on her stomach. 

"With your mind, and with visual images, you've painted a clear picture except for one aspect. Now, the idea is that your child may be able to sense that void of information in your thoughts and and answer the question even though you never explicitly asked it. If this works, she's going to tell us how many spots are on top of the die. In a moment you should feel something. I want you to keep your eyes on my hand on your stomach and make sure I'm not moving it. I'm just acting as a bridge from your body to the canister. I'm not going to move at all. You're going to feel something and it might feel like a kick, or maybe like she's waving her arm, or tickling the inside of your stomach, or just a weird sensation of some kind. This is not doing any harm to her at all. Anything she does is because she wants to, because she wants to play with her mom, and answer her mom's question, okay? Now just sit still."

After a few moments my friend's eyes go very wide. "What... was... that!" she says.

"You felt something? Okay let's just wait and see if you feel more."

After a second she starts laughing. "Yes. There it is again." Then a moment later she feels it again. "What on earth is that?" she says.

We sit for a few more moments. "Anything else?" I ask. She shakes her head no. "So how many was that? How many times did you feel it?" She says she felt it three times.

"Okay," I say, "let's take a look." I open the larger canister and dump out the smaller one, then hand it to her. "She indicated "three," yes? Take a look."

My friend opens up the small canister, the die inside shows three spots.

She looks at me. "Andy... what was that? That was so strange. Sweet but strange," she says, her eyes tearing up a little. She squints them at me and gives me an accusing look. Then she smiles, grabs her stomach with both hands and coos, "You did a magic trick, sweetheart!"

Method

I often have the desire to use a method that is not intended for one person, on one person. This is what inspired some of the one-person dual reality effects I've worked on that I've mentioned in the past.

This particular effect was spawned by the idea of doing a trick one-on-one where the method was an instant stooge. Obviously that seems impossible. And I didn't exactly accomplish it, but that was the genesis of the idea.

The method is pretty simple. Obviously the dice part is just Crazy Cube. One of the best $2.50 investments you can make in magic. But you don't need to do this particular effect with dice. You just need a way to have your spectator thinking of a number that you apparently don't know, and I think it's better if she doesn't know the number either (although you could easily argue the other way). So you could force a playing card or an Uno card on her. Just keep the number relatively low. 6 is about as high as you want to go. 

The "kicking" of the baby is, of course, not that at all. You have a remote-controlled thumper on your left wrist. The remote is in your right hand (you pull it from your pocket while her eyes are closed during the visualization part) which also holds the canister during the main part of the effect. You will activate it to vibrate your hand which the woman will feel as a sensation on her stomach. To be clear, the vibrating part of the thumper is not being pressed against her, it's just sending the vibrations into your hand and out into your spectator. The thumper I use was made by a friend of mine out of a remote-controlled vibrator. You probably have some of them lying around, you horny little sicko.

So the way this effect evolved is this.... One time, while doing an electronic version of a "which hand" effect with a coin, my hand got too close to the spectator's and she felt the vibration emanate from my hand (well, from the thumper strapped to my wrist and through my hand). "I felt that," she said. But she didn't mean it like, "Hey, I felt the vibration of the electronic gizmo on your wrist that goes off when it senses a magnet nearby." She meant it like, "Wow, I felt the energy of you doing this effect coming from your hand." It was part of the trick to her. 

I wanted to repeat this kind of moment in a more deliberate way and I began wondering if that sensation could masquerade as something else. Like could you maybe hold someone's stomach and say you could make it growl, or something like that. I had a couple other ideas that were all okay, but then I hit on the idea of the sensation being caused by a woman's child in utero and it was perfect. It's perfect because you don't say exactly how the child is causing the sensation so it doesn't have to exactly mimic any known feeling. Plus the concept of a child in a woman's stomach who is poking her or tickling her from inside to communicate -- I mean -- that's like one of the greatest images anyone has ever come up with in the history of magic.

I would also like to highlight the concept of "swallowing" a thought. The notion that you can have an idea at the front of your mind and then imagine sucking it back into your head and down your spinal cord and perhaps into your central nervous system and then down to an unborn child or out to your fingertips is one that I find people have a surprisingly easy time grasping, given what nonsense it is. And I've used it in many situations to have them send a thought from their brain, down into their hand and into mine; or into a glass of water for me to drink; or things like that.

Now go knock someone up so you can do this trick.

Update (2/13/17): I was just informed that Christopher Taylor at Taylor Imagineering has a product called Impulse that looks like it would be great for this effect or similar effects where the spectator feels some kind of unknown sensation. While I don't own it myself, I've only ever heard great things about his products so I would definitely check it out if you're interested in this sort of thing. I can think of dozens of uses for this and will definitely be picking up one in the future. I don't know if Christopher was the first person to use a thumper like this in order for the spectator to feel "something," but it's the only other example of it that I've seen, and I look forward to playing around with the idea more once I have Impulse.

Sundry Drive No. 9

Congratulations to Joshua Jay and his lovely new wife, Anna, on their marriage yesterday. 

A photo posted by Amanda Kloots (@ackloots) on


I think Josh is one of the smartest, most talented, and most generous people in magic. I feel fortunate to have him as a fan, friend, and supporter of the stuff I've done online for 10 years. From what I know about his wife, which primarily comes from her delightful blog which she wrote about their travels during Josh's lecture tour last year, she is a sweet, smart, and charming woman. I have no doubt that this is just the beginning of a truly enchanted life together and I wish them both the absolute best.


It's rare for me to have a 100% genuine sentiment on this site, so I'm putting this block of text here to ease you into the rest of this blog post so you don't get whiplash from the shift in tone.


Alright, you fucking dodos, let's see what bullshit you're going on about at the Magic Cafe. Ah, look what's back on the front page of Latest and Greatest. You know how there's usually a "summer song" that blows up each year and kind of defines music for that summer? Well the Summer Thread over at the Magic Cafe is definitely the one on the Ellusionist trick "Change." It's got everything: chumps who bought a trick based solely on some of the most blatantly bullshit hype in magic advertising, sketchy product spokespeople who hype up the product and then vanish after its released, claims of false advertising, suckers who know they got swindled but can't admit it so they try and defend the product, people losing their shit over $30, and what looks like complete indifference on the part of the company who released the product. That's a good snapshot of magic marketing and consumerism as of the summer of 2015.

Okay, now I'm back in the flow.


One of my friends who helps out with the running of this site was talking to a woman the other day. They were talking about bad gigs she had picked up off of Craigslist.  She mentioned that she had once worked for a magician who needed silhouette's cut out of business cards and he paid her 20 cents per card. My friend asked if she remembered the name of this magician (so he could come running back to me, of course) and she said, "Yes. Oz Pearlman."

Oz, you magnificent son of a bitch! 20 cents? You're an animal! You couldn't swing a quarter?

You know how magicians always talk about what they'd do if the airline lost their luggage and they had to perform with whatever they could find or buy in the immediate vicinity? Well, Oz would just root around in the ashtray of his rental car to see if he could scrounge up enough change to have some locals hand-craft something quick for him to use on stage. 


Getting close!



Here's your one warning. That female magician you're sending the creepy and embarrassing PMs to on the Magic Cafe might just be me. So maybe don't be such a cretin when you're dealing with a woman there (hey, or anywhere, for that matter). Unless you want this to get blown up, Ashley Madison style. Put your dick back in your pants.

So, You're New Here

I've been meaning to have an introductory-esque post to put in the sidebar for a while now. New people are always discovering the site and the emails I get from them tend to ask the same sorts of things. So I'm posting this in an attempt to give an overview of what I'm going for here. In a few days I will move a link to the top of the sidebar for the sake of future visibility.

So, you're new here. 

Someone linked you to this site and told you it was great or that it was terrible, or you made some errant Google search, and now you're poking around trying to get a feel for it. Well, allow me to answer some of your questions.

Where should I start?

The beginning. It's all gold. 

Who are you?

Nobody you know.

Oh, cool... so you're like a well known magician but you want to be able to speak your mind without-

No, seriously, I'm nobody you know.

Who is this site aimed at?

It's not really "aimed" at anyone. I mean, obviously people who have some interest in magic, but other than that there is no real target audience. I'm not a professional performer and I write from the perspective of someone who performs primarily in casual situations for non-paying audiences. Thus, some of what I say won't be applicable to a restaurant performer who is performing the same tricks multiple times an evening for strangers.

But, on the other hand, a lot of what I have to say is relevant to anyone interested in magic regardless of where they perform and who they perform for.

Why should I listen to you?

Fuck if I know. Take a hike, I don't care.

The purpose of this site is not to convince you to like it. The purpose of the site is merely to be here for the people who do like it.

What do you mean by "audience-centric" magic?

It's the notion that the audience's experience should be the most important thing. Most magic, especially when it's presented by amateurs, is magician-centric. It's about getting people to be impressed by your abilities. We know this is true because the "story" of these effects is almost always, "Look at my impressive ability." I'm advocating that you structure your magic to be the most entertaining it can be and, whenever possible, to remove yourself from the equation as much as you can, and shine the spotlight on the experience itself.

You might be saying, "Well, screw that, the whole reason I got into magic was to get people to like me." Okay, that's understandable. But even if getting people to like you is your whole goal, trying to impress people with your skills is a misguided way of going about it. This is true in other areas of your life as well. If you want someone you meet at a bar to like you, you can try and impress them or you can show them a good time. The latter always works, the former will backfire as often as it will be successful. 

Do you really do these grand, drawn-out presentations? Don't you ever just do a normal quick trick?

Yes, I really do the presentations I write up. And yes, I do a ton of normal tricks too. But I don't have much to say about those types of presentations so there's really no need for me write about them.

Why are most of your presentations written up as a 1-on-1 situation?

Because that's how I prefer to perform. The best and most rewarding conversations and interactions I've had in my life have been 1-on-1. Performing that way allows you to tailor the moment specifically to that one person which creates more powerful moments. It feels very personal to them. Watch a Derren Brown special where he is performing for one person and compare their reaction to the reactions of the crowd for one of his stage shows. Both reactions are incredibly strong, but when it's just for one or two people, the reaction on an individual-level is much more intense. This almost goes without saying. Obviously the more people you're performing for, the more you're performing for an average of those people. That's why I prefer to perform 1-on-1. But I don't always. And I have many ideas for -- and love seeing --  a good stage or parlor magic performance.

What is MCJ?

MCJ refers to my old blog, The Magic Circle Jerk which I wrote from 2003 - 2005. Don't bother clicking that link. I poof'd the whole thing out of existence when I was done with it. You can find some remnants of it on the Internet Archive, but there are a few missing months that aren't to be found anywhere except on my computer. 

I'd like to debate a point with you.

Don't bother. I'm probably smarter than you and have already considered your point, and have argued it to myself better than you can, and I've dismissed it. 

No, but I think I have something you haven't considered.

Alright, cool, send me an email. I'm happy to hear it.

So you don't like mentalists/mentalism?

I like mentalism a lot, but it's a very needy branch of magic and that is a turn off for me (and for audiences a lot of the time as well). I'm constantly on the lookout for ways of presenting mentalism that don't feel like I want something in return from the audience (in the form of their esteem for what I've done). This is why a lot of my routines for mental effects involve something other than "my power" being responsible. I don't have it all figured out, but I definitely get a much better response the further I steer things away from the premise being, "I have this incredible power and now I'm going to demonstrate it for you," which is what 99.9% of mentalism is.

Why don't you like people who pretend magic is real or that their powers are real?

Well, first, in the context of a performance I don't have that much of an issue with it. I just usually think it's boring when presented that way. And I think an audience can be confused, wondering if you want them to actually believe you when you say you have this special power. That's alienating to people. Most people are more than happy to play along in a moment of interactive theater. But if they see what you're doing as any form of validation seeking (which is how it often comes across when you play it "real") they will push away and find you completely corny. 

And when you're performing for friends and family or people you'll see again, what's the plan for after the show? To continually keep up the ruse? No thanks. But if you come clean then it's like, "Okay, but if you were going to make up a story to entertain us, why not make up a more interesting one than, 'I can read the thought you wrote down on that piece of paper with my mind.'" And coming up with alternative presentations (presentations other than "look at this power I have") almost universally creates more original, more engaging, and more fun performances.

But you're removing the "magic" from magic.

No. I mean, look, the magic isn't there in the first place. You're not a warlock. You're faking it. I'm just recommending you fake it in a more entertaining way. I've performed the way you do. And I've gotten great reactions to things in that style. But the reactions to what I perform, and the interactions with the people I perform for, have been far stronger since adopting the performing style I advocate for on this site.

I genuinely believe in magic. More than you, I bet. More than most people. And by that I mean like the magic of the universe and of human interaction and fate and artistic experiences and a whole bunch of other cheesy sounding shit. I met my last serious girlfriend when she was wrestling with a bunch of bags and an umbrella on a rainy autumn evening in NYC. I offered to carry the bags she was lugging around if she would let me share her umbrella while we walked. She agreed and we ended up walking 30 city blocks together to her apartment (skipping the subway station we were originally bound for) and falling for each other along the way. In the time that followed that initial meeting we would always ask the questions: What if I hadn't left my office when I did? What if she hadn't gone Christmas shopping that night? What if she had stayed in the store a few moments longer? What if it hadn't been raining? What if I had an umbrella and hadn't been compelled to ask her to share hers? It seems like a miracle our paths ever crossed. Of course, you can play this game with almost any interaction, the shitty ones included. But when you play it with a relationship that is vibrant and satisfying then it gives that relationship a "magic" feeling, even when you know it's just a way of looking at the situation. One in a million coincidences are happening constantly, but that doesn't mean you can't choose to see the magic in them when they happen. That's all real magic is; a sense of appreciation and wonder for the good things in our lives and the recognition that they could just as easily have never happened in the first place. 

To think you're giving someone a truly "magical" experience by doing fake magic and pretending it's real is moronic. It's like catfishing someone so they can experience "true love." Or recording a voice and playing it over a loudspeaker and telling someone it's the voice of god so they can have a "spiritual" experience.

The ironic thing is, the magicians who want to be seen as real -- under the pretense of giving their spectators a "magical" experience -- often end up looking ridiculous and cause their spectators to disengage. Whereas a performance that seeks to entertain first can be a really compelling and transcendent piece of work, which in turn can be a magical experience for people.

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What Image Do You Project?

Professional magicians don't often have the money to invest in an image consultant. So when it comes to their "look" they are frequently flying blind. And "blind" may be almost too apt a word as many magicians look like the got dressed in the dark, while holding a stick in one hand and a dog on a leash in the other, and with a clothing budget equivalent to what one might make selling pencils from a tin cup.

A lot of people think of me as "the most helpful guy in magic." I try to be humble, but that's pretty hard to argue with. I guess in keeping with that reputation I've decided to give back to some of my magic brethren to let them know how they are perceived by others. How did I do this? Well first I found an image of some luminaries in the magic world. I didn't use a posed photograph, I wanted to catch them in a candid moment, so I took a still from a video they appeared in on youtube. Then I took that picture and put it through Google's Reverse Image Search. What that does is it analyzes the picture and finds if there are any other versions of that picture online anywhere. Now, in these cases there wasn't because these weren't photographs originally, they were stills taken from a video. And when Google can't find a match it will provide you with "visually similar images." So now I'm just presenting these magicians with the suggested "visually similar images" so they can get a good sense of how they look to the world at large. This is all completely legitimate. I suggest you do a reverse image search on your own pictures to see what you look like to others. An image consultation like this would cost 1000s of dollars, and I'm only happy I can provide this outside perspective to some members of the fraternity as my gift to them.

So here, according to Google's Reverse Image Search, are some people who are "visually similar" to the image projected by some esteemed members of the magic community.


We'll start off simple. Here you can see how Tom Stone gives off a Conan O'Brien vibe.


Again, Google nails it. At this point I don't even know if it's Andi Gladwin who is ripping off Ariel Sharon's style or the other way around.


Who could deny that John Archer has a similar je ne sais quoi, to this heavyset woman waiting for her cruise ship?

JohnArcher.jpg

Joshua Jay will be married in a matter of days. Should something tragic happen and he ends up being taken out by a street-sweeper (for example), perhaps his lovely bride could take comfort in the "visually similar" arms of this kid who was charged with murder after tweeting "Come on a death ride with me," and then driving his car into a couple bicyclists while going 85 miles-per-hour on a busy California road. Both have a great head of hair and the same dead eyes.


How many times have you thought, "Is that Derek DelGaudio or Pakistani senior anchor person and investigative journalist for Dunya News, Kamra Khan?" 


Being "visually similar" does not mean you're at all similar behind the outer facade, as is proven here with the ultra-Conservative, bible-thumping, Trump-supporter, Rob Zabrecky and MSNBC's Rachel Maddow.


See, now to my untrained eye, I would say the look Max Maven is going for here is "sassy emo flight-attendant for Air Transylvania." But Google has pointed out that no, in fact, his look is a match for a stock image of the Greek god, Pan. I think that will please Max.


This one's a slam-dunk (see what I did there?). You can't look at Michael Weber without thinking "Larry Bird," (and vice versa). Look at those shoulders! Both have the silhouette of Herman Munster or a doorframe.


This one is complicated and goes to show you that you can't just judge these things with your eyes, you really need Google's sophisticated algorithm. "Fat Mark Elsdon" is visually similar to a skinnier, sexier Mark Elsdon look-a-like. While "Skinny Mark Elsdon" is visually similar to the mugshot of a fat guy who knowingly infected women with HIV or any number of black people.


And finally, can we stop calling John Lovick the biggest honky in magic, or #1 Cracker, or "whiter than sour cream"? As google so accurately suggests, he is pretty much the spitting image of Flo Rida.

  

 

 

I know what you came here to see
If you're a freak, then ya coming home with me
And I know what you came here to do
Now bust it open let me see you get low
                      
-- either John Lovick or Flo Rida (I forget which)