My Internet is Down: Day 3

Our long national nightmare is almost over. Time Warner Cable should be coming tomorrow to restore service. I will practically fellate the guy while he is here just for finally providing the service they are paid to provide. 

Here's a peek at some upcoming posts in the days/weeks to come.

The Mad-Lib Ploy - A true roller-coaster ride of a presentation that starts in improvisational chaos and ends by exposing the true nature of what's going on, but that only brings up bigger questions for your audience. In a departure from what I normally do, I also include a stage presentation for this.

The HK Word Reveal - A visually interesting, seemingly logical, but completely impossible presentation for a center tear.

Wildcard - I'm going to set it up so you can predict the score and winner of the one-game wildcard playoff in this year's baseball post-season.

Banana Split - In what may be the first in a series looking at beginner's magic tricks, I'll show you a way to really fuck someone's mind by pushing the old "banana pre-cut in its peel" trick to the edge of believability.  

And the usual other shit as well.

Let's all pray the cable guy shows up. I'm running out of pictures on my phone (I'm not much of a picture taker).

Here's a picture of some "home made style" drinkable yogurt. You know, like that "home made" drinkable yogurt your mamita used to make.

"Drinkable yogurt" is how I refer to my semen.  

That's not true. Actually I call it "Banana Creme Muscle Milk." (Contains no milk)

My Internet is Down: Day 2

You know, at first I was really annoyed that I was stuck in the mountains of Pennsylvania without Internet access, but you know something, being cut off from technology -- not having Netflix to watch or being able to get online -- it's actually kind of fun!

Fuck that noise, I'm kidding. It's miserable.  

Let's see... what photos do I have to show you today. Ok, today's theme is "Showing the proper amount of reverence."

Here's a guy on the subway with a Pringles yarmulke.

And here's a jumbo cookie commemorating September 11th.

Never forget... how delicious our cookies are! 

One more day of this (if you trust Time Warner Cable to come and fix it when they say they will) or perhaps this blog just becomes me showing you pictures from my phone. We'll see what tomorrow brings. 

My Internet is Down: Day 1

Hey kids. I'm in a somewhat remote location and the internet here is down and won't be fixed until 2 pm Thursday. So I have to do everything on my phone until then and I hate typing on my phone. That means short posts for the next few days. And I probably won't be answering emails much either.  

I had a gigantic post scheduled for today but it will have to wait until Friday. It's a good one, check back for it. 

Soooo... I can't type and I can't upload video so don't expect anything good until Friday. I know... since I'm stuck on my phone, I'll choose a photo of the day from my photo gallery. 

Hmmm... I don't have anything magic related... Oh here's a good picture. My friend, Pat, was traveling through Ohio, the birthplace of Wendy's, which is something they hilariously say with pride. He stopped at one of their restaurants and saw a painting of Wendy's founder Dave Thomas. Dave was sitting at a table writing in his notebook and surrounded by a number of Wendy's employees worshiping their guru. My friend thought this was a really funny painting (because it is). I tried to find a print for him for Christmas but unsurprisingly this isn't a hot commodity. So instead I took the photograph he took of the painting and had it woven into a blanket.

Barring an unexpected revival of the internet connection here, it will be this type of nonsense for the next couple of days, so you may want who wait until Friday to check back.  

Under the Influence

There's this guy named Jason Ladanye. He's a very skilled magician and he put out a book and dvd set recently. He is a disciple of Darwin Ortiz and this manifests itself in his style of performance, choice of material, presentations, manner of speaking, style of dress, enunciation and vocal timbre, way of holding the cards, etc. It actually seems like he's doing an impression of Darwin. Or like he ate his liver and now he possesses his soul or something.

And when I first saw Jason's videos I was surprised because -- and this might be embarrassing to admit -- I didn't know that Darwin Ortiz was considered a performer people wanted to emulate. Like I knew he was incredibly skilled, and he was well respected for creating very strong routines (in the traditional sense) and had written a lot about theory. But as a performer he always struck me as somewhat affected, a little stiff and unnatural, and very rehearsed. Now, to be fair, I'm sure to most everyone else his style comes across as "professional," and it probably is. In that sense, "very rehearsed" is obviously a good thing. Don't look to me for advice on professional performance standards. I usually perform sprawled out on a couch with someone's feet in my lap. But it was still a surprise for me to see someone mimic his style so closely.

So when I first came across Jason's videos I was a little dismissive and thought, "What a tool. He doesn't even have his own style?" But I'm beginning to realize that a lot of what I saw as "imitation" is just someone who was inspired by an artist he really loves. And my smug superiority was really just a result of me not having a performer who I admired as much as he did Darwin.

And what led me to this realization is that I did find a performer who has completely bowled me over and who is now infecting everything I do.

Her name is Victricks (on Youtube) and she's a young magician from Russia. Now, because you are all so bad at telling when I'm being sincere (which I guess means I'm bad at expressing sincerity), I want to make it clear that I genuinely have great affection for this girl, as do all my friends who I show her videos to. She's my favorite magician on youtube. For a young magician I think she shows a ton of promise and I have no doubt that if she sticks with it she could be a really great close-up magician in the future, and she's developing the presence and charisma of a stage performer too if she decides to go that route. She has become a more dynamic performer in just the few short months she's been posting to youtube. I really hope she finds a great mentor to take her to the next level. Oh, and she has actually fooled me (at least on first viewing) with a couple of her tricks.

I wasn't kidding when I said I was adopting some of her performing quirks. When I perform for friends who I have shown her videos to, I like to do so in a style inspired by her. 

This first video is her at her surliest (at least at the beginning) and it always makes me laugh. From this video I have taken:

• Her opening line: "Hello everybody now I show you trick."
• The little finger dipsy-doodle she does to display the bottle.

This is an unusual one for Victricks because it involves a little camera trickery, but I have totally adopted the "lean back and wait" pose in some of my tricks. It's not quite a trance. It's almost like a mini nap-break. I also use the slight mistranslation of "usually/usual" for "normal" which appears in a few of her videos.

Want to feel inadequate? Here she is in a fancy little outfit (which for all I know could be traditional Russian pajamas or something) performing an effect most of us have tried at one time or another, but probably not this well.

And here's her latest trick. It fooled me the first time around.

If you like her stuff, subscribe to her channel and give her positive comments. Or find another young magician and do so for him/her. We spend a lot of time getting riled up by the losers who are exposing tricks and it's completely understandable to be bothered by it. But I'm not sure freaking out about that helps the art of magic at all. Instead let's maybe become benefactors of encouragement for those starting out in magic who seem to be coming at things from the "right" direction.

Sundry Drive No. 10

In regards to Monday's trick, a few people emailed me to ask what a "thumper" is. What are you, dumb or something? You are dumb? Oh perfect, then you'll appreciate this description taken from Mentalism for Dummies.

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We're always counseled to make our sleights look as close to the real action as possible. What I mean is, we're told if we do a double lift it should look as close to the normal mechanics of turning over a card as it can. But then we abandon that level of verisimilitude with our presentations. I think your presentations should be just as realistic.

You know how some people will perform a trick and the presentation they will use is that of a "sobriety test"? Well, if you do that I think you should really take it all the way. When the person "fails" the test you should grab their collar and slam them against the wall. "You drove here today, you sick bastard? My fucking children are out on those streets, goddammit!" And then you should knock some of his teeth in.

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I really think people need to be more precise with the names they give their effects. Like some people call things The Levitating [Something] when really it's just The Floating [Something]. Also, this trick is called Countless Cookies, when really it should be called Eleven Cookies, or, based on this performance, Genuine Nightmare Material. 

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By now everyone is onboard the Rob Zabrecky train. It's clear he is doing great work with a strong style and original perspective. But I want to take the opportunity to pimp his old band, Possum Dixon. Back in the mid-90s, you were probably too busy listening to Hootie and the Blowfish, you bland honky, so you likely missed out on Rob's band. If you like alt-rock/power-pop, do yourself a favor a track down some of his music. Here is one of my favorite songs from their final album (with magic-related cover art).

Dear Jerxy: What Makes A Good Premise?

Dear Jerxy: I'm not sure I understand your position on premises/presentations. You say that the best ones are unbelievable but then you shit on ones like the ambitious card where the card keeps coming to the top because it's the most ambitious one in the deck. Isn't that an "unbelievable" premise? How do you differentiate a good unbelievable premise from a bad one? 

Oh No, I Can't Think of an Alliteration in Omaha

Dear Oh No: There is a very simple question you can ask yourself to discern if your unbelievable premise is a good one or a bad one. And that question is this: "Is this a thing?"

Examples -

Premise: "I'm going to restore this rope by going back in time to before I cut it."
"Is this a thing?" - Yes. The notion of time travel is a thing.

Premise: "The deck is going to whisper in my ear the name of the card you took."
"Is this a thing?" - No. The idea of a whispering deck of cards is something you just made up so you could do this trick.

Premise: "I'm going to float this dollar bill by trapping a ghostly spirit inside of it."
"Is this a thing?" - Yes. The concept of ghosts exist outside of your magic presentation.

Premise: "This coin will disappear from my hand and join the others because it's lonely."
"Is this a thing?" - No. Coins don't get lonely.

My favorite types of premises/presentations are unbelievable, interesting, and familiar. And by "familiar" I mean that they should deal with concepts that exist in the real world. Things an audience can relate to and grasp easily. The "Is this a thing?" question identifies the "familiar" concepts.  

When you use a familiar presentation you are engaging the spectator in the world they live in. This makes it easier for them to connect with the magic and it makes your presentations automatically more expansive because what you're doing is a part of the mythology of their real world. When your premise is completely unfamiliar, i.e. "The jacks are the most jealous cards in the deck," then your trick exists out on an island. It may still be a good, entertaining trick but it will be hard to make it resonant or relevant to the spectator. Here's a tip: If your premise involves anthropomorphizing something, you're probably on your way to Shit City presentationally.

So my process for creating a good presentation is to first find a familiar concept I can relate to the trick. Then I think of a way to make it interesting if the concept itself isn't particularly interesting. Then, if the concept itself isn't inherently unbelievable (like ghosts, or multi-dimensional travel), I ratchet up the impossibility of an effect until the premise it's based on is no longer believable as a means of accomplishing the effect. Why do I like an unbelievable premise so much? Because I know it's possible to present a trick that is so strong that, for a little while, people will believe the unbelievable. And to me that's much more fun than getting them to believe the believable.

The Dr. Phil Deck

Things you need to know to understand this post.

1. Dr. Phil - He is a television psychologist here in America (and undoubtedly in other parts of the world as well) who likes to build people up or break people down. 

2. The Phil Deck - In the traditional version of this trick, you ask your spectator to think of a card and you say that you're going to name it. They think of a card and you say, "I'm going to name your card... it's Phil!" This is greeted with incredibly mild amusement. You then ask them to tell you what card they were thinking of. They say, for example, the three of diamonds. You say, "Yup, that's Phil." Then you pull out the deck and show them that the cards all have a different name on the back. And on the back of the three of diamonds, it says "Phil." 

It's a fun enough trick. Not earth-shattering, but decent. But the nice part of the Phil deck is that you can have whatever you want appear on the card they name. You can buy "blank" Phil decks and customize them. I've found most of the customization ideas somewhat underwhelming -- often it involves having numbers on the backs of the cards (instead of names) or putting a company name on the back for corporate work. I don't know, that's all fine, it's just not my scene.

I've probably bought a dozen blank Phil Decks in my life and have used them for a few different purposes. This post will cover one of those ways and I'll mention another one (probably my favorite one) in next Tuesday's post. I don't know how useful they'll be to others, but there's definitely something valuable in the idea that these decks can be used for something other than just having the punchline of the trick on the back of the cards.

The Dr. Phil Deck

Like Dr. Phil himself, this moment (it's not exactly a trick) can be used to build people up or tear them down. I generally only perform for people I like so I've only used it for the former, but I'll describe both ways. 

Build Them Up

Imagine you have a friend who's dealing with some upheaval in her life. A divorce, break-up, loss of a job, whatever. You've invited her over to watch a movie and order dinner and maybe take her mind off things for a few hours. She notices a book on your coffee-table. Something like the one below that you can pick up off Amazon for a few bucks used.

Maybe she thinks this is a little unusual for you because you normally don't go for this type of nonsense. You explain that it's just an offshoot of your interest in playing cards and you thought it would be a good idea to know what the meaning of each card supposedly is. "I don't really believe in the cards' ability to predict the future. But I do think there may be some validity to the idea that certain types of people gravitate towards certain cards, and you may be able to get some insight into yourself by knowing what the meaning of a card you're drawn to is." You pull out a deck of cards that you've created as "flash cards" for yourself in order to help you memorize the personality traits associated with each card. You spread through and show her how each one has a few words or sentences on the back with some personality traits. Then you pull out the Ace of Spades and the Queen of Hearts. "If you ask someone to think of all the cards in the deck: Ace thru King, clubs, hearts, spades or diamonds. And to let their mind scan thru all the cards and eventually settle on one, then you will have some understanding into who they are as a person. It's not magic. It's just an unconscious preference for certain things by different types of people. Which just makes sense. The numbers, letters, and symbols of a deck of cards aren't meaningless, so of course different types of people will be drawn to different cards in a manner that's not completely random. Like if you went through the visualization process and settled on the Ace of Spades, it would suggest that you are," you turn the card over and written on the back it says:

You are generally good natured but are easily manipulated and lack creativity. 

"So that's probably not the most flattering one," you say. "And if you named the Queen of Hearts it would suggest," you read the words off the back, "That 'You have a great capacity for love and a big heart, but often immature notions of what a relationship entails.' And that's because a lot of young girls tend to think of the Queen of Hearts, so you can see why that would be accurate."

You spread through the cards and show her other message that discuss people's work ethic, the way they handle finances, their tendency towards laziness and so on and so on.

"Let's try it with you," you say. "Imagine all the cards in a deck of cards spread out in front of you. Try to see all of them in your mind. The number cards, letter cards, clubs, hearts, spades and diamonds. Some of them might be visually appealing, but it's better to let yourself be drawn to one seemingly at random. Can you picture the cards in front of you? Okay. Now let all of them fade away except one. Which one are you left with?"

"The five of diamonds," she says.

"Okay, let's see what that means." You spread through the deck and pull out the 5 of diamonds and turn it over. It reads:

You underestimate your ability to deal with change. You have vast reserves of strength that will get you through times of turmoil. 

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So what have you done here? You haven't done a trick. You haven't told someone their fortune. You've just told them something about themselves that might be useful to remember in a particularly trying time.

I've performed this twice in my life for two different people and both got somewhat emotional and said almost identical remarks. Something along the lines of, "That is exactly what I needed to hear right now." 

B-b-b-b-but Andy, you've always said you don't like when magicians or mentalists play things as real. Aren't you playing this as real? Isn't this being manipulative?

Here's what I don't like. I don't like when people try to make others believe they have a power they don't really have. What I mean is, I don't like magicians who want others to walk away from their performance believing something untrue. I think that's bad for the spectator, bad for magicians, and bad for the art of magic. 

This, however, is not a magic trick. It is a way of you sneakily introducing just what someone might need to be reminded of at a vulnerable time in their life. And shining a spotlight on that message in a way which might allow it to be accepted more than it would if you were just to offer it as some advice.

This isn't like trying to justify being a fake psychic by saying, "Well, I make people feel better." That's just a bullshit rationalization. You're not taking money for this. You're not invoking some phony power. And you're not lying.

I can comfortably say you're not lying because what's written on that card is true of essentially everyone. Are you in the midst of some upheaval in your life that feels overwhelming? I promise you that you are underestimating your ability to deal with that change and that you have vast reserves of strength that will get you through this time. 

We may need to be reminded of it from time to time, but that's just a statement that's true of the human animal. It's essentially a self-fulfilling belief. You might say, "Oh no, not me, I'm bad with change." But look, if 99.99% of the population, including everyone you know and love, died in a zombie outbreak, within two days you would be doing a fucking shoulder roll out from behind a parked car to blast some zombie's head off. You have the capacity to adapt to change, you just don't like to because it's a pain in the ass. I get that.

You can put some other positive message on the backs, of course. Just try to make it something that A) is true, and B) protects or enhances the other person's self esteem. (That should generally be your goal with any interaction with someone you care about.)

Tear Them Down

Of course, this can be used for the opposite purpose as well. In fact, I'm sure this idea will be much more popular than the previous one.

You're performing magic, maybe at a party with friends, or even in a professional walk-around situation. Some guy is being a total cocksucker and annoying you and everyone else. You've put up with him for a while but now you've had enough.

"You're a lot of fun," you say to the a-hole. "Can I try something with you real quick? I've been studying some psychological research that says people's choice of playing card says a lot about them. This isn't like fortune telling or something. Essentially they reverse engineered it by interviewing 1000s of people, asking them to name any card in the deck, and then they seeing what the people who named those cards tended to have in common."

You pull out a deck with phrases on the back of each card. 

"I've actually been conducting the test myself in an unofficial way and it's astounding how accurate this is. I don't want to influence you by showing you the front of these cards just yet, but for example, people who named this card tended to be entrepreneurs, people who named this card tend to excel with languages, people who named this card were generally children of divorce." The cards indicate these qualities with definitive statements and the percentage likelihood of this being true based on the study.

For example, those three cards would read:

96% - You are an entrepreneur
99% - You are good with languages
98% - You are a child of divorce

You continue to spread and show all the different traits that the cards might indicate. Most are positive or neutral.

"So, just for fun, name the first card that comes to your mind? The Queen of Clubs? Okay, let's see... Oh this is interesting, and pretty specific." You turn it over and it reads:

100% - Your dog's butthole smells like your cock

"It's consensual, though, right? I mean, I'm not sure if it's defensible either way. But I truly hope you're not forcing yourself on him. Or are you just rubbing up against it without actual penetration? I guess that's better..."

Okay, so it doesn't need to be that crude (although that's probably how I would do it). It could say something like, "100% - The last time someone referred to you when you weren't in the room it was as, 'That idiot.'" Or, "100% - You are the most dispensable one in your circle of friends. Deep down, you know this." Or simply, "100% - You are not exceptional in any way."

Again, this is not really a trick. Is it a heckler stopper? Kind of. I mean, if you consider making someone cry or instigating a fistfight to be stopping them from heckling, then it definitely is. 

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Tuesday: Like the indians did with the buffalo, we're going to butcher up the Phil Deck and use every part of it. It will serve as an emotional hook, presentation, method, misdirection, and surprise ending for a trick called The Mad Lib Ploy.