Dustings #142

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Here is the cover of Card Fan Productions by Ed Marlo in 1941.

It’s nothing special, really. But it’s simple, charming and evocative.

Flash-forward 84 years and this AI garbage is the cover for a new Marlo book.

Is the level of care they used for the outside of the book similar to what’s inside? I really hope not.

Or maybe I’m just assuming this is bland, effortless, AI slop. Perhaps it was lovingly hand-crafted and the book comes with some custom gimmicks—the Sevive of Diamonds and the Feight of Spubs—as featured on the cover.

Speaking of which, I think we've reached a new chapter in how we react to AI content.

There was a time when it seemed surprisingly good. Maybe in a scary way. Like, was all entertainment going to be AI-generated in a few years?

The next chapter was when everyone got past the initial shock of what the technology could do and realized it was mostly kind of shitty. And beyond that, kind of meaningless.

"Look, it's you as a Muppet!"

If someone had created that image of you 10 years ago, you'd probably hang it up somewhere in your house. Now you look at it and say, "Oh, yeah. Neat." And never think about it again.

The new chapter we've reached is where AI content is so generally understood to be bad that it's funny to pretend it's good.

"Have you seen the stuff AI is doing these days?" my friend asked in mock awe. "I think it should stand for Amazing Innovation." And people laughed. It was a little joke that wouldn't have made sense even a year ago. They might have thought he was being serious.

There's no doubt AI is going to change certain industries and the world. But I think we'll end up being surprised by how little it affects the art and entertainment we consume.

Does Craig Petty like getting sued? It sure seems that way, or else he'd be a bit more careful with his words. DAMMIT, I'm so mad!

So I had this big opportunity come up to do a show for the owner of this fancy hotel. His daughter's bat mitzvah. And he's like, "Hey, if it goes well, we'll have you as our regular entertainment for all our events." It was going to be a $200,000 contract. And even more importantly, it would have led to a ton of other high-paying performance opportunities.

So I figure, maybe I'll do something with Craig's new release, Instant Teleport. And I'm watching through the instructions and—I'll be honest—maybe only half paying attention because it's another typical Petty blather-fest, and I hear this.

"The lower left corner is being pushed against the mound of Venus."

Hmmm… I think. Now, I know in palm reading there are the "mounts" of the hand.

But isn't the mound of Venus… uhm…

Well… okay, I think. If Craig says so. He knows best. Who am I to question the winner of Penguin Magic's Creator of the Year Award? Surely he knows what he's talking about, right? They don't give the Penguin Magic Creator of the Year Award to any dumb oaf, do they?

So I go do the show. It's going great. People are laughing and clapping. Cards are being found. Balloons are being needled. Coils are being unmouthed. It's quite simply a "magical" evening.

Before my final trick (Instant Teleport) the wealthy hotel owner comes up to me and says, "I suggest when you go home tonight you empty out your wallet to make room for all the new moneys you'll be putting in there once I hire you." He rests his hand on my shoulder. "You've got the job. That is," he says, "unless something goes wrong during the last trick in a monumentally horrible way."

With that in mind, I start the last trick. With Craig's voice ringing in my head I joyfully go through the effect, getting to the point where it's time to push the lower left corner against the mound of Venus. I look around the room, locate the nearest one, and—committed to the craft, as Craig would want—get to it.

Predictably, all hell breaks loose. The bat mitzvah girl is crying. Her parents are furious. Children are screaming. Two burly security guys try to hold me back. "No!" I scream, kicking and fighting. "This is what Craig Petty said to do!"

The contract is torn up. The police are called. And I get literally thrown out on my ass.

THANKS, CRAIG.

You better fire up another Kickstarter, for when I sue your ass. You're going to need it

And you know the worst part… the absolute worst part about all of this? We live in a world that can feel a little chaotic… a little topsy-turvy at times. It's nice to be able to rely on some things that are stable and good and will never let you down. It's nice to have faith in certain institutions. For me, that was always the Penguin Magic Creator of the Year Award Winners. They were my rock. They were my north star. "They'll never encourage me to jab a deck into someone's vagina," I always naively thought. What a fool I was. What. A. Fool.