Magic in the Media: Now I Saw You

I just got back from seeing Now You See Me 2.

Uhm... can you guys say AWESOME?

You're going to need to in order to articulate the phrase, "Wow, that movie was really not awesome."

I'll be honest, the movie barely makes any sense. And not in the way that, like, Ulysses doesn't make sense to me, because I'm an idiot. But in the way a retarded monkey shrieking gibberish doesn't make sense to me. 

I remember when I first heard word about the original movie, it was pitched as something like, "Magicians use magic to rob banks," which sounded like the greatest movie ever made. Except they made the mistake of having them capable of anything. So they're essentially like superheroes which is not what people want (in this case). They want to see real humans using their cunning to pull off these elaborate schemes. It's telling that the most exciting scene in the second movie is when the group is working together using card sleights and flourishing moves to hide this computer chip thing they're stealing (that fortunately is the size and shape of a playing card). This is when they are at their least god-like. They're just magicians using (somewhat) legitimate magic skills. 

But outside of that scene, most of the "magic" is just ridiculous. I don't know why they even bother having magic consultants if literally anything is possible for these characters to do. It would be like having magic consultants on Thor 2. 

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Magic was mentioned a few times on some of my favorite podcasts recently. I always like hearing magic mentioned by non-magicians in a non-magic context. It gives you a much better insight on the state of the art than listening to a bunch of magicians yap about how great Derek Delgaudio's show is. (Which I have no doubt it is, but let's not kid ourselves that magic doesn't have a long way to go in order to dig itself out of the hole it dug for itself in the past 100 years.)

Here are a couple of clips from those podcasts mentions.

First is the show Doughboys which talks about chain restaurants. In this conversation, hosts Nick Wiger and Mike Mitchell, and their guest Claudia O'Doherty discuss the hierarchy in a deck of cards. It ends with a nice exclamation of disgust towards magicians by Claudia.

On Pistol Shrimps Radio, a show where they call the action for a women's recreational basketball league in L.A., one of host Mark McConville's analogies leads into a discussion of Lance Burton's "hole in the floor tricks." 

And finally, I was making the point above about how one of the shitty aspects of Now You See Me 2 is it has magicians performing impossible tricks and a friend challenged me saying it didn't matter because regular people have no idea what is or isn't possible. I disagreed with that. And here is Tom Scharpling (a non-magician) on The Best Show making the same point.

Gardyloo #10

I've been asked when the final drop-dead date is to get your book order in. I should have something for you next week on that.

It's time to award the winner of the #erdnaseblows contest. This person is getting their book for free. There were 8 submissions:

1 - Cleo Lunt
2 - Jon Shaw
3 - Jason Leddington
4 - Cristian Scaramella
5 - Martin Colclough
6 - Robb Weinstock
7 - Nick Olson
8 - Chris "Brue" Laypan

The winner will be picked by the New York State Lottery Commission.

Your entry number is the one associated with your name above. If your number matches the first number drawn of the evening Daily Numbers drawing on 6/11/16, then you win. If a 9 or 0 is the first number we will go to the second number (and so on). Good luck! And may the odds be ever in your something something.

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Here are some preliminary sketches for the GLOMM logo. The bunny's pose is inspired by this cover for Practical Mental Effects, which I've always liked. In fact, it used to be a 12 foot mural in my bedroom when I lived in Manhattan. No kidding.

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I received this fine email today from a guy named "Jerry." Hey, thanks for the support, Jerry!

So first you're selling a book for $250 and then you're selling a t-shirt for $50. What's the matter no more smart ideas for your blog? Is it just a money-making thing for you now? I could have seen that coming. Enjoy it, sell-out.

Dear Jerry,

First, get bent. Second, lick my balls. Third, it's a $260 dollar book. Get it right.

Let me tell you about the sweet economics of running a magic blog and something like the GLOMM project. I get the idea 8 months ago. I recruit some people I know to help with the project: an illustrator, a photographer, a model ($600). I do an initial printing of the shirts ($426) and then a second ($450). I get pins made ($230). I get membership cards made ($170). I create a website ($150). So at this point I'm in for $2000+ and that doesn't count dozens of hours of my time. Then I sell a membership kit, paypal takes a cut, and I pay for the shipping and handling. So let's say I clear $40. Well, that's not too shabby considering I'll sell 1000 of these and end up making $40,000. Not bad! Wait... no... I'll actually probably sell 40 of these if I'm lucky and lose $500 on this enterprise. 

Hey, no one asked you to sell t-shirts. And you could have just done them on the cheap.

Yeah, I know. I'm not the one complaining here. I'm perfectly satisfied with the situation. You were the one bitching. I'm just pointing out how dumb you are for thinking this site is some grand money-making scheme.

Jerry! Who told you to stop licking my balls!

If I wanted to make money by selling t-shirts to magicians, I would have done one with a bunch of skulls and flames to match your awful style. (I take great pride that the shirt has been much more popular with the non-magicians who see it.)

I created the GLOMM site a) because I liked the idea of creating an organization for the sole purpose of kicking people out of it, b) as an absurd anti-piracy measure, c) as a de facto "fan club" for this site. At the end of this video there is a girl wearing a Jerx shirt (getting ready to masturbate to old-school Michael Ammar). People had asked me if I'd be printing them, but I never wanted to. It seemed like too much of a direct championing of this site and thus a championing of myself which is gross. But a shirt promoting a fake magic organization that was spawned by this site is something I can get behind.

And what if I did make money from this site? The notion that that is some terrible thing is bizarre to me. It just means the site will exist for longer. I think people get that it takes a huge time commitment to write a site like this (which is one of the reasons there aren't other sites like this) but I still think a lot of people feel like, "Well, he should spend 20 or 25 hours a week on it for free. I mean it's not hard labor, it's all just fun." But by that logic I should never be paid for anything, because I've had fun at every job I ever had. Having fun is my default. 

I love magic and thinking about it, creating it, and performing it. I also love masturbating and eating cereal but if I had to do it and write about it 25 hours a week I'd need to find a way to justify that time expenditure. I'd just be so raw. And so full! Similarly, writing about magic is not something I'd normally be doing, so I have to find a way to fit it in with the rest of my life. As I've said from the beginning, this site will run for as long as their is fuel for it. I have more content than I know what to do with. It's time I lack. And when people support the site monetarily it affords me time. Simple!

With that said, if you're in the "Magic Blogs Should Be Free" camp, or the "Magic Blogs are a Human Right Not a Luxury" faction, just know that when October comes around and it's PBS fund-raising time again, there's going to be a much more straightforward set-up as far as donations to keep the site going, barring a last minute endowment by a generous benefactor. You're not going to like it. It's going to be a very simple calculation of if X number of people are willing to make a small-ish monthly donation, the site will remain. If not, it goes the way of MCJ. I'll be very happy either way. Happy to keep doing the site or happy to have such a large chunk of time back. I'm an expert at crafting win-win scenarios in life, and this is one of them.

There you have it, Jerry. That's actually the preface to my next $260 dollar book. Magic Blogging for Some Fun and Little Profit. That's free, but the rest will cost you. And now fuck right off.

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Hey, speaking of shirts, 3XL and 4XL (or as I call it, "The Magician's Medium") should be printed in the next week or two.

Until next time! xoxo

The GLOMM - Part Three - A Routine

Originally I had considered loading up the GLOMM membership card with a bunch of outs and reveals for magic and mentalism tricks, but I looked at other examples of tricks in this style that use fake credit cards or membership cards and they all seemed universally terrible to me so I decided against it. Somehow a card with a whole bunch of extraneous information on it seemed less interesting than a simple, straightforward card that implies some greater, enigmatic organization.

But there is a trick that is fun to do with the membership card. It's a little play-lette with a satisfying dramatic structure and a premise that is at least mildly intriguing. It requires a bit of acting (at least as I do it), but you just have to act like an indignant idiot, which shouldn't be too hard for you. It utilizes a couple very useful tools that should be in your repertoire anyway. And it's pretty much self-working. 

During some dead time while hanging out with a friend you are looking for something in your wallet and you pull out your Global League of Magicians & Mentalists membership card. She makes some comment on it or you bring it up yourself.

"Oh this? Yeah, this is just the card that indicates I'm an Elite Member in the Global League of Magicians & Mentalists. It's no big deal. I mean... well... technically I guess it is. It's pretty exclusive. The GLOMM is open to every one, but only a rare few are Elite Members."

"Actually, there's something I wanted to try that I was reading online today. It's a trick that supposedly is guaranteed to work for Elite Members, but I haven't had a chance to try it yet. Can I get your help? Let me see if I have those instructions I wrote down earlier."

You pull a piece of paper from your pocket and unfold it. "Ah, here it is."

You turn your GLOMM membership card face down on the table. You take out your phone and open it up to the calculator and hand it to your friend. "We're going to create a personalized magic number for you, okay?"

You start going through the process you wrote down or printed out earlier in the day.

"Step 1. Have the spectator enter any two digit number that has a personal meaning to them. Don't let me see it, I think I'm not supposed to know what it is."

"Step 2. Press the multiplication button and then have the spectator enter any three digit number that has some meaning to them. This one you can share with me. What was it? 592? What's that? The numbers on your license plate? Ok, that works."

"Step 3. Press the multiplication button and have the spectator enter a random three digit number."

"Step 4. Press the equals button. Your spectator has created their 'magic number.' Despite the fact this number was arrived at based on the spectator's personal choices and random number selection, you will find the number reflected on the front of your GLOMM membership card."

"What number did you get," you ask. "4,141,079?" You scribble it down on the other side of the instructions you've been reading from.

"Well, this might be hard to believe, but does my membership number look at all familiar to you?"

Without looking, you snap up your membership card and show the front to your spectator, with a big shit-eating grin on your face. She gives you a confused look. Your smile falters as you look at the front of the card yourself.

"Sixteen! What the fuck!?"

You turn on your phone and place a phone call. Your spectator only hears your end. 

"Uhm, yes, I would like to talk to someone there. My name is [Your Name] and I... what? Yes... Member no. 16, that's correct.... Actually that's what I'd like to talk to someone about. You posted that trick online today and you said it was guaranteed to work. But I just performed it and it failed miserably. Now, I'm paying good money to be in this society and I demand a certain level of respect, not to be jerked around like some common--... What's that?...Yes.... Yes.... We followed the directions. Well I... No, we did it correctly, but at the point where it said it would match the number on the other side of the card, it was way off. My membership number is 16... What?... Actually, that is what it says, madam. It say, 'you will find the number reflected on the front of your GLOMM membership card.'... 4,141,079... yes... that's right... Well, no, it doesn't say the number on the front of the card... What do you mean?... Turn what upside down?... [You turn the paper in your hand upside down.] Oh... I see... my mistake... I understand. Thank you. Yes. May GLOMM be with you as well. Thank you."

You set your card and the number you wrote down on the table in front of your friend. Without saying anything you turn the number over.

Method:

This uses two things that should be in your repertoire because they're incredibly useful for creating spur of the moment magic effects.

The first is the TOXIC force, as it's commonly known. This is a way to set up your calculator on your phone to force any number. Here's how it works on the iphone. Turn on your calculator and turn it sideways so it's in scientific calculator mode. Enter the number you want to force into the calculator. In this case 4,141,079. Hit + then hit 0 then hit x i.e, multiply then hit 0 then hit ( i.e. left parenthesis.

Again that's:

4,141,079
+
0
x
0
(

Now turn your phone to its normal orientation and the scientific calculator part will go away. You can turn your phone off and/or exit out of the calculator, just don't close the calculator app. 

When you're ready to perform you turn on your phone, open up the calculator (in regular, non scientific mode), and give your phone to your friend. She can do any calculations she wants but when she presses the equals sign it will show your force number. Mathematics!

(I assume you can do this, or something similar with an Android or even a regular calculator. I don't know. Honestly, just get an iPhone if you're a magician. It makes things so much easier. iPhone is the phone of magic. Saying, "Can I do it on Android?" is like watching a card trick and saying, "Can I do it with dominoes?")

The second part of the method is just a utilization of the fabulous Cryptext by Haim Goldenberg. This is something every magician and mentalist should have in their brain. I use it all the time. (I built an effect into my phone number, in fact.) It's the best way to have a prediction or revelation in full view the whole time.

The rest plays out as I described above. With the membership card in your wallet you're all set to go. You don't even need the instructions written down, you could just do them from memory, but I like to pretend I'm not overly familiar with them. I like it to seem like I don't quite have a grasp on the whole thing. And that I'm just an overconfident dope. "Does my membership number look at all familiar to you?" I say with all the slimy magician faux-confidence I can muster and a big phony smile on my face. While my spectator thinks, "Did this idiot never notice his number was 16?"

Of course you could play the whole thing straighter. You don't need to play the smug idiot. You don't need to do the fake phone call. You could just guide her through the calculation and then say, "Would you be amazed if your number that you just created was printed on the front of my card?" You turn it over. "Hmm... 16... Would you be amazed if I was within 4,141,063? No, I'm kidding. You see it's not in my membership number where your number is echoed, it's in the acronym for the organization itself..." blah, blah. Or whatever. That would still be good.

But I prefer the presentation above. I like bringing up this secret sub-set of a magic society. I think that's inherently interesting. I like playing stupid. And I love anything that plays out as half of a phone conversation. Like an old Bob Newhart routine. I think there is a lot of opportunity for comedy there. And there's something intrinsically engaging about it because they can't help but fill in the other half of the conversation even though they know you're not really talking to anyone.

Get your membership kit here. (You won't be member 16 (well, one of you will be) so don't be confused if you're, like, 17 or something. "Hey, my card is broke!" No, they're just all uniquely numbered.)

The GLOMM - Part Two

I've heard your clamoring and I've created some GLOMM banners of various sizes for you to put on your social media and your business website (you'll probably want to put the logo on your business cards and other promotional material too). Please only do so if you adhere to the Code of Ethics as described at the bottom of this page. 

The first is simple and soon to be classic. I suspect there will come a time when, if this logo isn't on someone's site, you will hear a lot of, "Oohhhhhh... was this guy kicked out of the Global League of Magicians & Mentalists? Uhh.... yeah... thanks but no thanks, pal."

The second implies a little more as you label yourself a "member in good standing." Those in the know will say, "Ah, I understand what that means. We can have him around the kids. It's okay."

And finally, the third banner really spells it out for people.

Also, the first handful of membership kits were sold yesterday. I applaud the bold few who picked one up. You are truly on the vanguard of a new era in magic. Those will go out Thursday. (With the exception of my 3XL brother. Your shirts are being printed as part of a new run which should hopefully be completed next week.) These aren't some iron-on transfer bullshit shirts. They're screen-printed by hand, color by color, at this cool little t-shirt company run out of a small, old brick factory building in upstate NY. And I didn't get a ton of any one size initially (or any 3XL or 4XL) so there may be short delays to fill an order if/when a size runs out.

The GLOMM - Part One

Pre-History of The GLOMM

I first mentioned the GLOMM back in December, I think, and today I can finally explain it.

There are two things that led to the GLOMM and they both stem from my decision last October to offer a limited edition book for sale, the proceeds of which I would use to pay the people who assist with the site and then "buy my time" to work on the site as well.

The first was that many of the people who wrote me back in October (and since) expressed a sentiment along these lines: "I'm donating because the stuff you're writing about really resonates with me in a way most other magic writing doesn't." (Actually, they put it in much more heartfelt terms than that. And I was going to quote some of those emails here. But they're too nice and overly-complimentary and it feels weird to post them publicly.)

I felt honored -- actually, "honored" makes it sound corny and insincere -- but it felt cool to be presenting some ideas about magic that were resonating with people all over the world. But not widely resonating. I liked that it was a small, passionate community rather than a large detached one. And I wanted to create a kind of faux organization for people who are into this site.

At the same time I was bummed about the idea of releasing an expensive magic book and then having bootleg copies floating around. As I've mentioned before, I wasn't bummed for my sake. I would have very few to sell after publication regardless. But I had been in that position where I'd purchased a pricey magic book and then some dude tells me he found a pdf copy online and it kind of sucks. I'm protective of the people in my life who have been good to me and so, if possible, I wanted to protect the investment of the people who were good to this site. 

So I gave it some thought. The first thing I did was come up with a way of individuating each copy of the book. Now, if a copy of the book showed up somewhere, I would at least know who made the copy and was distributing it. But what action could I take? I guess I could ask Greg Wilson if his dojo was free for me to go at it with the culprit, but I wanted something longer lasting than that. I could, of course, talk shit about them relentlessly on this site, and I'm sure I will if it happens, but that wasn't enough. 

So then I got back to thinking about the people who like this site and support it as a this tiny, obscure magic society. Perhaps what I could do to anyone who distributes a bootleg copy of the book is to kick them out of our magic society. In that way I get to take something away from them.

Big deal. They won't give a shit.

No, of course not. Why would they?

Then I thought of a nice evil twist on the idea.

Hey, remember a while back when I asked you guys to contribute the names of magicians who were convicted of sex crimes?

So here's what I've done. I've created a new organization called the Global League of Magicians & Mentalists. It's the world's largest magic society and you are all a part of it. Welcome! Anyone with an interest in magic is automatically a member. There are no dues to pay and you don't have to perform so that some no-talents can "evaluate" you to see if you're good enough to get in. You're in.

There are only two mandates in our Code of Ethics. The first is: Don't be a jerk. The second is: Don't be a sex offender. 

So let's say you do something jerky, like...oh... say, selling bootleg copies of a book you didn't write. Well, then you're going to get kicked out of the GLOMM and your name will go on the list on our page of banned members. As of now that list is just sex criminals: pedophile magicians and guys who take secret video of women peeing at the Magic Castle and that sort of thing. If you want to be a jerk and get your name on that list too, knock yourself out. It will be great company to be in if anyone ever googles your name. By the way, it's not two different lists, it's just one list of banned members with no designation as to why they were banned. "The following people have been permanently kicked out of the Global League of Magicians & Mentalists for being perverted sex criminals and/or jerks," the page reads.

Yes, this is some crazy shit. I mean, I guess I could have made the book an ebook with DRM, but that's much less fun.

Honestly, I think it will be a non-issue. I think everyone who has purchased the book has this site and the other purchaser's best interest at heart. And if not, I look forward to hiring someone who knows SEO to make your entry on the GLOMM list one of the top results for people looking for your name. 

You might think I'll wield this list viciously and put anyone I don't like on it, but that's not true. It doesn't matter if I don't like you, or if you don't like me or this site. I have no issue with that. In fact, Steve Brooks is a member in good standing of the GLOMM. Everyone has a clean slate. Only true jerks (and true sex criminals) will be on the list. 

You can visit the new site at www.theglomm.com. I'm happy to welcome all you new members. 

There is a membership kit you can purchase as well. Your support there is funneled back into this site resulting in more content, more foolishness, more happiness. And you'll look dope as hell in your GLOMM t-shirt at your next magic meeting or convention. I want to see picture of these shirts showing up at MAGIC Live and FISM. That would be the best. 

That's the other part about this that I find very satisfying. I mentioned above about wanting to create some kind of loose "organization" for people who enjoy this site. This is a group that really only I get to see through my email correspondence with you. And that's what the Global League of Magicians and Mentalists is: a hyper-niche group of magicians masquerading as the world's largest magic organization. 

Something for the Weekend

Writing a book is no fun. I don't recommend it. But there is one enjoyable part and that's watching the illustrations come in. If I do another book it will be illustrations only. 

Reference photo and illustration from the effect A Very Unusual Camera in The Jerx, Volume 1.

If you are into Tarot cards at all, I want to direct your attention to a deck that is available that is really a part of The Jerx extended family. It was originally commissioned by AC Costello who is handling the financial and distribution aspects of the upcoming book and shoots much of the video for this site as well. And it was designed and painted by Stasia Burrington, who is doing the illustrations for The Jerx, Volume 1.

Check it out in her etsy store. I don't know how many are available so don't sleep on it if you're interested. Support good people. Tell her Andy sent you.

A few of the original hand-painted cards.

I will be giving away a copy of the deck to the winner of the "Judge's Prize" for the #erdnaseblows contest. (One person will win the contest randomly and get their book money refunded. The "judge's prize" is my bonus award for my favorite video.)

In the end, 8 people destroyed their copy of Erdnase. A couple of the videos are below, you can find the rest on my Twitter.

Off topic, I have a movie recommendation. Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping was one of the funnier movies I've seen in the last few years. Check it out if you dig the Lonely Island at all. If not go see Me Before You, you little pansy.

And finally, while I'm doing youtube links, here's the inspiration for today's post title: Something for the Weekend by the Divine Comedy. One of my favorites in the all-too-rare genre of songs with twist endings.

Keep A Light Up In Your Window

Daddy's coming home soon.

Regular posting resumes next week when the next post in the Project Slay-Them series appears and the mystery of what the GLOMM is will be revealed. 

So psyched to be holding the first proof copy of my new book!

Shit... that's the box my Taco Bell quesadilla came in. I was confused because -- much like my book -- the contents were so delicious.

So far no one has destroyed their copies of Erdnase. Although I did receive a number of emails about the subject, which fell into one of three categories.

1. "Are you serious about that contest?" Yes! I'm always serious about everything. Wait... no... that's obviously not true. But whenever I'm talking about anything transactional between us then I'm always being serious.

2. "I'd like to destroy my copy, but I already sold it/got rid of it. I thought I was the only one that didn't like it." Well, you're not. Give me someone who bases their magic on that book compared to someone who bases it on the Klutz Book of Magic, and I'll take the latter every time. KBOM > EATCT.

3. A couple of people wrote to ask if they could do it anonymously because they were worried about dealing with the fallout from Erdnase fanboys. No, you can't do it anonymously. Look, no one is really going to get upset because you destroy a copy of Expert At the Card Table. No one takes this stuff seriously. I don't even take it seriously and I'm the one pretending to give a shit about that book one way or the other! And really, what's the worst thing that would happen? Some crater-faced virgin comes and kills you and rapes your corpse because you burned a copy of EATCT? Ok, well, that actually would be pretty bad. But, to be fair, he raped you after you died. And it's just not going to happen anyways. On the off chance it does, you'd be immortalized. Like in some book about the dumbest things that ever got someone killed or something.

Well, at any rate, you still have a little while to get your video in. I have a feeling someone will sneak in at the last minute and win their $260 back with no competition. Good for them. 

Beyond that, thanks to those of you who have picked up the book in recent days. It means a lot.