Solving the Unnamed Magician Issue
/I figured out a way to solve the Unnamed Magician issue in a manner that will make everyone happy.
At this stage, he’s been reduced to making the debate about whether or not I removed my offer to buy the trick.
Yes. As I stated multiple times, I removed my offer. The point he's forgetting is that I removed it because I was given proof his effect wasn't real.
Evidence from HIS OWN EMAILS [verified] to one of HIS FRIENDS IN MAGIC [also verified] that the trick as advertised didn't exist.
His defense for this is, "That person must have lied to Andy. Because I've never told anyone the secret to my trick."
Of course you didn't. One of the defining features of a trick that doesn’t really exist is it’s hard to tell people the secret.
What he did do was email people details of the effect that contradicted what was in the promotional material.
When I believed the advertisement was false, I put out an offer if he could prove it was true.
When I knew it was false, then I removed the offer. Seems pretty straightforward. I'm not quite sure why that is surprising to him. Or anyone.
When somone tells you the Babe Ruth home run ball you’re bidding on is fake, you generally stop bidding on it.
Before that happened, he had A MONTH to accept my offer and he didn't. But jussssttt when I learned the trick wasn't real and removed the offer, it became: "Oh I was JUST about to let you buy it!"
In other areas of life, this is called gaslighting. Dumb people do it.
But lets leave this ugliness behind usl. I want to tackle this situation head-on.
In the Unnamed Magician's version of reality, there are a number of problems here:
His reputation has been severely damaged by this.
He lost out on an additional $5000 that I promised over what the buyer paid.
The other buyer—the "famous magician"—who bought the trick is "very disappointed" in the method. Not because it doesn't live up to all the conditions, mind you. But, uh, for some other reason!
Now, you might say, "Well, none of those issues are your problem, Andy. So why do you care?"
I care because I'm a problem solver.
And fortunately, I can solve these problems for everyone!
It's true that I did take my offer off the table once I learned the trick wasn't real.
Well… it's back on, baby!
That's riiiiiigggggghhhttttt! Your boy's back! I'm putting my offer back on the table.
But it's already been sold?
Yes. My offer is to the "very well-known and rich magician" who we're told bought this. I will pay what you paid for it. You'll get all your money back and you can wash your hands of the whole thing.
On top of that, I will pay the Unnamed Magician the $5000 additional he would have made from me if I bought it in the first place.
I will also take out a full-page ad in Genii magazine for one year, letting everyone know how wise the Unnamed Magician is and how ashamed I am for ever doubting him. If Genii allows it, I will include a picture of my penis from its least flattering angle for purposes of mockery and pointed ribbing.
Problems solved!
UM gets his reputation back.
He also gets his extra 5k.
The unsatisfied buyer gets all his money back for the trick.
You all get a definitive and satisfying end to this story arc on the Jerx.
I get the genuine joy of being proven wrong (seriously!).
Yeah, but then you're saddled with a $60,000 shitty trick?
Don't you worry, my loves: there's nothing I can't make work if I set my mind to it.
It's a turd? That's ok. I will polish this turd until it truly gleams. I will also put some of the best minds in magic on the project as well. In the end, I'll recoup a good chunk of what I spend when I release a hardcover manuscript detailing this whole saga, with a description of the trick and a bunch of variations. I'll still probably lose money on the deal. But I'm okay with that.
So, now what I've offered here is an obvious solution that solves every issue. Everyone is made whole. And there's no risk for anyone other than me.
In the world where this trick really exists and was really sold to a real person, I will be hearing from them soon in order to move forward with the deal.
That's going to happen, right? Right?
I'll be waiting!!