MCJ Advent Calendar - Day Twenty-One - The Time L&L Publishing Offered a Michael Ammar Poster as an Incentive
/In 2004, Volumes 7, 8, and 9 of the Easy To Master Card Miracles series by Michael Ammar were released. If you were on the fence about getting these, L&L Publishing knew exactly what would push you over the edge... a poster of Michael Ammar! Who wouldn't want that? Clearly there's a proud lineage of posters that Ammar's would fit in with perfectly.
Friday, May 07, 2004
Difficult to Fathom
Easy to Master Card Miracles volumes 7-9 have been released by L and L Publishing. People have a lot of issues with these things. Some say that Ammar should have to get permission from the person, or the estate of the person, who created any given effect before including it on these tapes (I agree). Some say that these tapes compile too much good information in one place and that beginners should have to wade through the shit, just as they had to, in order to find good tricks (I disagree)
But to me, the bigger, more fascinating issue is the fact that L and L is giving away a Michael Ammar poster to people who buy the set from them . And really, when you think about it, what room wouldn't be improved by a poster of Michael Ammar's big mug hanging on the wall? Wait...wait, I am really thinking about it. Hmmm, you know, I guess I don't think any room could use an Ammar poster. Well, maybe like a Nazi era gas chamber could. There it might be amusingly incongruous and horrifying enough to allow you to more openly embrace your oncoming death.
Certainly don't hang this poster in any room you're hoping to have sex in. If a girl is prepared to spread her legs for you in the same room as a Michael Ammar poster, then there is a high probability she is retarded. Or maybe blind. But even if she is blind, are you going to tell me that you can be balls-deep, banging away at some blind chick and look up and see a grinning Ammar and still keep your erection? You'd have to be some kind of superman. That poster would drive you slowly insane. You'd be sitting on the edge of the bed, hair all fucked-up, haven't washed in days, glazed-over eyes staring at the poster; and you're saying to your girl, "We need to fuck. The Ammar poster is telling me. He says I need to tap that ass. He's saying 'Tap it! Tap it!'" No he's not. He's saying, "Topit. Topit." Regardless, that poster would get in your brain, man, YOUR BRAIN!
Even if you don't have a girlfriend that poster would fuck you up. He may have some Easy to Master Card Miracles, but frankly, I think it would be a Miracle if you find it Easy to Masturbate in the presence of that gleaming melon of his.
This is nothing against Michael Ammar, he seems like a good guy with an honest desire to make magic better. I mean, I love the work of Nicholson Baker, Elliott Smith, and Descartes , but I don't want any of their faces looking down on me, especially if I'm about to shoot my load all over some girl's sloppy chin.
And while I have no real personal issue with Ammar, he is a bit of a bookish-looking goober, so I don't see how he ended up with such a fox for a wife. I'm guessing that the poster of Michael isn't the only thing in the Ammar household that's well-hung.