Look at This Adorable Knucklehead

It's Saturday so I'm taking it easy, but don't worry, I've uncovered a goldmine of comedy/magic writing. Back in the waning days of my Magic Circle Jerk blog, somebody got a wild hair that they were going to take me down a peg or two by creating a... well... I don't really know what to call it. Like a satirical version of my site?

But Andy your site was already a comedy site. That doesn't really lend itself to parody.

Yeah, I know that, and you know that, but this guy hadn't quite figured that out. So in the spirit of someone doing a spoof version of The Onion or parodying a Weird Al song, he created a blog called The Magic Circle Jerk and for one morning in November of 2005 he fumbled his way through three posts dedicated to me. His angle was, "This guy jerks off!" A "critique" that would perhaps work better if his target audience weren't magicians, a group whose dicks are rubbed so raw they could lay them across rice and technically consider it sushi by FDA standards. I mean "Best Masturbator" is a FISM award. Producers of The Magic of David Copperfield VI had to inform a shocked Copperfield he couldn't lazily stroke his cock to Turning Japanese by The Vapors as he floated over the Grand Canyon. That's just how accepted self-pleasure is in the magic community.

But still, I give him credit. If I wasn't intelligent or funny and had nothing to say, I would never have the gumption to start up a site -- even if only for five hours. So, to whoever that anonymous goofball is, I salute you. I'm sorry it took me 10 years to even stumble upon your scathing critique, but I'm here now to give it a wider audience. It was a giant swing and a miss, but at least you tried. Here is THE Magic Circle Jerk.