Next week will be Practical Magic week here at The Jerx. What that means is that the Monday thru Friday posts will all have practical ideas and tips. Yeah, I've got some regular boring ideas too. Not all of my ideas are tricks that take three days to play out. Included in next week's posts will be a video update to one of the most popular posts I did back in the MCJ days about how so many of you do your Elmsley counts wrong.
"Hey where's the funny, Andy? We don't come here for your dumb thoughts on performance and theory."
Ok, valid question, and my considered response to it is: Lick my balls, dum-dum. I'll write whatever the fuck I want and you will like it. Seriously, if this site is to go on for any length of time, then you are going to be subject to the whims of what I feel like writing about. Sometimes that's going to be critiquing the dopes on the Cafe, sometimes it's going to be trick ideas, sometimes it's going to be theory, and sometimes it will be things so tangentially related to magic that you'll wonder why I'm writing about them on a magic blog. Well, I never promised you a magic blog. Do you think it's easy doing the smartest and funniest and most innovative writing in all of modern magic? No! Well, actually it's pretty easy for me. But not for you. With your little brain and your dumb ideas: "Look at me. I do Color Monte with normal cards!" Stop it! The only good thing about Color Monte is this dude:
Look at that smug sack of garbage with his shit-eating grin, all because he made fourteen fucking dollars. He's straight-up rolling in that shit Indecent Proposal-style and it's fourteen dollars. His poor wife. "Jimmy, I hear the grocery store is hiring in the deli department, do you think maybe.... What's that? Oh, I see, you're going to go out and run your 'hustle' again today. Great. Here's the thing, you do understand that the baby formula alone is twenty-six dollars, correct? Okay. Just wanted to make sure. The way you picked me up and twirled me around when you got home yesterday made it seem like you thought $14 was a big windfall, so.... Are you even listening? Can you smoke that outside, please?"