Gardyloo #10 — The Jerx

I've been asked when the final drop-dead date is to get your book order in. I should have something for you next week on that.

It's time to award the winner of the #erdnaseblows contest. This person is getting their book for free. There were 8 submissions:

1 - Cleo Lunt
2 - Jon Shaw
3 - Jason Leddington
4 - Cristian Scaramella
5 - Martin Colclough
6 - Robb Weinstock
7 - Nick Olson
8 - Chris "Brue" Laypan

The winner will be picked by the New York State Lottery Commission.

Your entry number is the one associated with your name above. If your number matches the first number drawn of the evening Daily Numbers drawing on 6/11/16, then you win. If a 9 or 0 is the first number we will go to the second number (and so on). Good luck! And may the odds be ever in your something something.

Here are some preliminary sketches for the GLOMM logo. The bunny's pose is inspired by this cover for Practical Mental Effects, which I've always liked. In fact, it used to be a 12 foot mural in my bedroom when I lived in Manhattan. No kidding.

I received this fine email today from a guy named "Jerry." Hey, thanks for the support, Jerry!

So first you're selling a book for $250 and then you're selling a t-shirt for $50. What's the matter no more smart ideas for your blog? Is it just a money-making thing for you now? I could have seen that coming. Enjoy it, sell-out.

Dear Jerry,

First, get bent. Second, lick my balls. Third, it's a $260 dollar book. Get it right.

Let me tell you about the sweet economics of running a magic blog and something like the GLOMM project. I get the idea 8 months ago. I recruit some people I know to help with the project: an illustrator, a photographer, a model ($600). I do an initial printing of the shirts ($426) and then a second ($450). I get pins made ($230). I get membership cards made ($170). I create a website ($150). So at this point I'm in for $2000+ and that doesn't count dozens of hours of my time. Then I sell a membership kit, paypal takes a cut, and I pay for the shipping and handling. So let's say I clear $40. Well, that's not too shabby considering I'll sell 1000 of these and end up making $40,000. Not bad! Wait... no... I'll actually probably sell 40 of these if I'm lucky and lose $500 on this enterprise.

Hey, no one asked you to sell t-shirts. And you could have just done them on the cheap.

Yeah, I know. I'm not the one complaining here. I'm perfectly satisfied with the situation. You were the one bitching. I'm just pointing out how dumb you are for thinking this site is some grand money-making scheme.

Jerry! Who told you to stop licking my balls!

If I wanted to make money by selling t-shirts to magicians, I would have done one with a bunch of skulls and flames to match your awful style. (I take great pride that the shirt has been much more popular with the non-magicians who see it.)

I created the GLOMM site a) because I liked the idea of creating an organization for the sole purpose of kicking people out of it, b) as an absurd anti-piracy measure, c) as a de facto "fan club" for this site. At the end of this video there is a girl wearing a Jerx shirt (getting ready to masturbate to old-school Michael Ammar). People had asked me if I'd be printing them, but I never wanted to. It seemed like too much of a direct championing of this site and thus a championing of myself which is gross. But a shirt promoting a fake magic organization that was spawned by this site is something I can get behind.

And what if I did make money from this site? The notion that that is some terrible thing is bizarre to me. It just means the site will exist for longer. I think people get that it takes a huge time commitment to write a site like this (which is one of the reasons there aren't other sites like this) but I still think a lot of people feel like, "Well, he should spend 20 or 25 hours a week on it for free. I mean it's not hard labor, it's all just fun." But by that logic I should never be paid for anything, because I've had fun at every job I ever had. Having fun is my default.

I love magic and thinking about it, creating it, and performing it. I also love masturbating and eating cereal but if I had to do it and write about it 25 hours a week I'd need to find a way to justify that time expenditure. I'd just be so raw. And so full! Similarly, writing about magic is not something I'd normally be doing, so I have to find a way to fit it in with the rest of my life. As I've said from the beginning, this site will run for as long as their is fuel for it. I have more content than I know what to do with. It's time I lack. And when people support the site monetarily it affords me time. Simple!

With that said, if you're in the "Magic Blogs Should Be Free" camp, or the "Magic Blogs are a Human Right Not a Luxury" faction, just know that when October comes around and it's PBS fund-raising time again, there's going to be a much more straightforward set-up as far as donations to keep the site going, barring a last minute endowment by a generous benefactor. You're not going to like it. It's going to be a very simple calculation of if X number of people are willing to make a small-ish monthly donation, the site will remain. If not, it goes the way of MCJ. I'll be very happy either way. Happy to keep doing the site or happy to have such a large chunk of time back. I'm an expert at crafting win-win scenarios in life, and this is one of them.

There you have it, Jerry. That's actually the preface to my next $260 dollar book. Magic Blogging for Some Fun and Little Profit. That's free, but the rest will cost you. And now fuck right off.

Hey, speaking of shirts, 3XL and 4XL (or as I call it, "The Magician's Medium") should be printed in the next week or two.

Until next time! xoxo