Gardyloo #38

I've had a few people ask me if I'm going to kick David Blaine out of the GLOMM due to the allegation made by a woman recently of a 2004 rape.

At this point, the answer is no because there needs to be more than an allegation before I take such a serious and life-changing step like kicking someone out of the magic organization I made up.

I'm not quite sure how such an accusation could be proven so many years later, but if it is, then yes, of course he'd be out. I'm no starfucker and fame means nothing as far as your GLOMM status goes.

On a related note, former president George H.W. Bush has been accused recently of groping at least two women while saying, "Do you know who my favorite magician is? David Cop-a-feel.

In the service of full disclosure, Bush Sr. was never in The GLOMM and his Copperfield pun is not enough of an expression of interest in the art to qualify him for inclusion. While I don't know if his actions would rise to the level of a GLOMM booting had he been a member, I've come to a ruling that if he, at age 93, decides to become a restaurant magician, he cannot use The GLOMM logo on his website and he cannot sign up for Elite status.

I have a great line for someone if they want it. Unfortunately, it relates to an act that isn't quite my cup of tea. But if you're into it, feel free to use this line with a consenting adult.

"Do you know who my favorite magician is? Criss Anal."

In presenting magic to people, I often find myself needing to come up with interesting and understandable ways to illustrate abstruse ideas. Things like: fate, intuition, synchronicity, luck, parallel universes, or even just "magic" itself.

So I always enjoy any type of writing that goes some way towards allowing you to understand (on an emotional level) something you might not be able to wrap your head around otherwise.

In that vein, I appreciated this description of "eternity" from Hendrik Willem van Loon’s, The Story of Mankind, from 1921. 


The next time you worry your trick has too much process, think of the time this guy takes to present this gag.

Too often magic is about rushing to get to the climax of the effect. For example: "After they set down the face-down card in the open prediction, I just have them spread the rest of the cards face up to show the card isn't there." What? You're missing out on the most interesting part of that trick. The part where they're down to just a few cards and the card still hasn't shown up yet. You're sacrificing that escalating tension to save 30 seconds, you dingbat? 

Don't be so concerned people are going to get bored with what you're doing that you rush it and end up losing the build-up that taking it slower would give you. I'm not saying you should pad out your tricks unnecessarily, just that you don't have to rush them unnecessarily either.

If this guy was presenting this like most magicians, he wouldn't stop after every step along the way and have her wave her hands over it. He'd maybe do that once. "Spectators don't like process. They want something quick," is what you hear a lot in magic. But if he had rushed it—if he was just like, "Hey, watch this," and folded it without the interaction—I can almost guarantee she wouldn't be stroking his cock at the end.