No post today.
April Fools! There is a post. You’re reading it, dummy!
Yes! Another classic Jerx April Fools joke. And you totally fell for it. Hahaha. Your stupid face! “Huh, wait. what?” That’s you!
I’m actually not a big April Fools Day guy, myself. The thing where we’re like, “Okay, everyone, here’s this special day where it’s officially sanctioned and okay for us to mess with each other, got it?” feels a little corny to me. I think we should be fucking with each other all year round. In good natured ways, at least. There is an element of that in my style of performance. Except it’s kind of a sideways practical joke. With a practical joke, you want them to think something is real, up until the point where you reveal it’s fake. What I want to do is give people a premise and a situation they know is fake, but then give them a couple of moments within that fantasy that feel very real.
If you’re concerned about someone pranking you today, here’s what i recommend…
Well, first, if it’s someone you like, then just have fun with it.
But maybe you think some asshole you work with is going to try and get you and you want to have some way to reverse the narrative. Here’s something that might work. Let’s say some guy in your office, Tad, pokes his head in your cubicle and says, “Enjoying that coffee? Heh-heh….I put a laxative in it when you weren’t looking! April fools, bitch!”
You look at your watch, “Yep… right on time.” Then, in a very lifeless, dry, monotone voice you say, “Gee… Oh no. You totally got me. Darn.”
He’ll be confused by your reaction.
“Take a look at the time” you say. He checks his phone, it’s 10:45.
You reach into your pocket and unfold a business card, read it to yourself. “Mmhmm. As I suspected,” and you toss the card on the table. It reads:
Tad’s “big” April Fool’s Day joke will come together at 10:45
“You’re such a predictable little bitch,” you say. “I didn’t even drink that coffee. I switched it for another cup, dipshit.”
Actually, you did drink the coffee. You’ll be shitting your brains out all day. But don’t tell Tad that.
Method: Just write up the card in advance, minus the time. And have a nail writer in your pocket, ready to go. This is the one I use.
April Fools! I got your ass so good.
(I use the Vernet Band Writer, btw.)