Here's a tip for all you ladies out there. When you're out on a date with a guy, and you're thinking of taking things to the next level, tell him you have a personal question that's "a little dirty." This will get him all wound up. Then ask him what kind of music he likes to fuck to. If he says anything like:
- Let's Get It On by Marvin Gaye
- Sexual Healing by Marvin Gaye
- Can't Get Enough of Your Love by Barry White
- Love to Love You Baby by Donna Summer
Just kindly excuse yourself to the restroom and then run home as fast as you can. That is not going to be a satisfying sexual experience. That's going to be two minutes of missionary and a sticky belly.
Your fuck-mix is supposed to be songs with beats and intensities that are good for sex. It's not supposed to be songs about sex you goddamned knuckleheads! How cliched and uncreative can you be. Is this how people are with music in the rest of their lives?
"What song would you like us to play at the end of your father's funeral?"
"Thanks for asking. Could you play, 'I'm So Sad, 'Cause Daddy Died'?"
You're supposed to be scoring a situation. Not describing it.
Magicians have a similar problem. Can we stop using songs about magic in magic performances?
- Abracadabra by The Steve Miller Band
- Do You Believe In Magic by The Lovin' Spoonful
- You Can Do Magic by America
- Magic by Olivia Newton John
- I Put a Spell On You by Screamin' Jay Hawkins
- Magic Man by Heart
- Magic by The Cars
- Magic by Pilot
And so on.
Or, if you feel the song has to be about magic, how about choosing a song that isn't completely fucked-out? I mean, unless you need the double whammy of obvious and hackneyed. Actually, for most magic shows, "Obvious and Hackneyed" would be a good subtitle. Or they could be a new magic duo.
Here, for the lazy, are some genuinely good "magic" songs that aren't completely played-out.