Welcome To Splooge

Look, I told you back in this post that this blog was eventually going to morph into a lifestyle blog a la Gwyneth Paltrow's Goop. Well, now it's happened. Deal with it.

No, this is not a delayed April Fools joke. Me taking part in April Fools is like a serial rapist celebrating Valentine's day. 

But don't worry, it's not permanent. It's just for the next week or so.

You see, I'm in the final weeks of writing the book and some of the more challenging things I have to write I'm going to be tackling in the next week to 10 days. These are some of the more unusual and mindbending concepts that are in the book and it's going to take intense concentration to explain them in the most understandable way. Now, usually when I'm working hard on something I might come here and work on a post as a bit of a mental break. But writing about magic is not going to be a very fun break from writing about magic. So I'm just not going to write about magic on this site for the next week. Problem solved. 

Over the course of the next week I'll write about some other things I like, ideas I have, heuristics I use, and concepts I've come up with outside of the magic world. From ways to hear people fart more to ways to achieve eternal happiness. There will be tips to save you money, save your relationship, and save your life. I'm not kidding. If you're about to commit suicide, wait 7-10 days. My last post in this series will fix your shit.

You're not interested in hearing this shit? You're pissed the site looks different and you can't find the old posts? Buddy, you wouldn't beliieeevvvve how little I give a shit. Beat it.

The magic will return soon and this site will revert to The Jerx. I've got some real exciting shit coming up. Soon you will learn about the GLOMM (something most all of you will be involved in). You'll hear the results of a test of presentational styles that I recruited a few people to help with last week. And I think I'm going to be posting a trick that ends with the greatest giveaway in the history of magic. And while I'm blowing myself, not only does it have the greatest giveaway, but it's a completely new effect. I don't just mean the trick itself is not like anything that's been seen before (which it is). I mean that I think the nature of the effect is unlike anything that's been seen in magic, as in it falls into none of these classifications. Now there's a chance I may not post this publicly and it may only go to the people who have ordered the book. I said I would keep my best material for them and the only reason it's not going in the book is that it's too difficult to describe in words. It needs videos/GIFs. So it may just be an exclusive for the book buyers. We'll see.

And speaking of the book and me being great... guys, you know how every story deck trick sucks balls? Like the best story deck trick is just the world's most boring story accompanying some good false cuts and shuffles. Well, I've cracked the code on this thing. For a few years I've had a pretty funny story deck trick, and I had the idea to give it a twist ending but it required a specially designed and printed prop, so it was just an idea for a long time. I've finally had the prop printed so I could include it with the book. I've performed the full effect a few times recently and it gets crazy reactions. It goes without saying that the story itself is funnier than every other version (unless, that is, you find saying an address and the concept of making change funny). But the trick is WAY powerful and deceptive in a way that story deck tricks never are. This version gives spectators whiplash. And I don't just mean that metaphorically. One guy who I performed it for last night was so taken aback at the climax that he did a stunned shaking of his head and hurt his neck. For real. It was pretty hilarious. (He's fine.) I'm pretty psyched for you guys to see this. 

All that is yet to come. For now, enjoy my Splooge.