Let's Dish: Did Bish the Magish Vanish?
/I received an email the other day that read:
In your references to the MCJ blog, there has been absolutely no mention of Glenn Bishop (by the way, did you know that his father was the famous “Bish the Magish”?).
What do you know of him, his whereabouts, and activities these days?
2 memories of the Bish. The time he posted a video of himself bringing the 4 Aces to the top of the deck with a horrible and obvious multiple shift and then stacking them for a poker deal in only EIGHT shuffles. When attacked for how stupid it was, he tried to claim he had to spot each Ace, cull it, and shuffle it into position. As if we all forgot about the multiple shift.
And one of your great lines/observations (that I’m going to mangle in my paraphrase). In reference to his work doing Hypnotism shows for schools, you said something to effect of: Yeah hypnotism shows for High School kids are really tough to pull off. “Timmy, stop clucking like a chicken and sit down! The hypnotism show is about to start.”
On my old site, Glenn Bishop was a big source of fun for about a month or so. I don't really remember it all that well. I just remember he liked to speak on the Cafe and in other places with great authority and spoke highly of his own wisdom and skill. But he wrote with all the finesse of a semi-illiterate at-risk-youth forced to write a personal essay about his hobbies before he'd be let out of detention: "I like to play the basketbal with Tony and Kris. It am a game I like. I like to bowns the ball and dunk with a big jumpy. B-ball is for fun and so I am to." And he would post videos that could best be described as unwatchable.
But his best quality was that he wanted to engage. He didn't back down. He had zero self-awareness that our back and forth was completely one-sided. He was like a guy setting baseballs on a tee for me and saying, "I'm playing baseball!"
My favorite thing I ever read (and I don't just mean about The Magic Circle Jerk, I mean of everything I ever read in my life, like I put this ahead of To Kill a Mockingbird) was a blog post he wrote entitled: A Magic Terrorist or A Sick Little Boy. [I ask now as I asked at the time, why can't I be both?]
A Magic Terrorist or A Sick Little Boy?
Who is the sickest most twisted little boy in magic. Andy the little boy known as the magic circle jerk.
Why is he the sickest most twisted little boy in magic?
Because he started a blog that was started for the only reason of knocking, insulting and terrorizing magicians in magic.
If you think that is funny think about that for a moment. The fact is this sick little coward started a blog just to run down magicians he doesn't like.
Plus he hides like a little coward behind his little screen name Andy.
Many young people think that this guy is funny at his low attempts at humor - but insult train wreck humor is only funny when they are not the person that is being insulted.
Plus the fact that this blog was started for the reason (and only reason) to attack people in magic. And to hide and terrorize people in magic. Like a little kid that throws water balloons from a balcony and then runs and hides.
Second - this little kid is a sick - sick idiot!
Why?
I feel that people that pick on people with disabilities are the sickest and the lowest form of sub humans that exist on the world.
He really must have a very low self image of himself to do that plus start his little "revenge" and "terrorist" blog and do it for so long.
I suppose that little people that can't make it in magic the right way have to do something!
But Andy the circle jerk isn't funny - there is nothing funny about a "magic terrorist!"
Oh, my god, I love that so much. "Second - this little kid is a sick - sick idiot!" I wish we were all friends in real life and we could hang around my apartment and whenever one of us got on the other's nerves for farting too much or pulling our scrotum out of our zipper and asking if anyone wanted any gum, we could look at each other and say exasperatedly, "This little kid is a sick - sick idiot!"
Another one of my favorite things Glenn did was when he lectured everyone on how to write press releases. He said to make sure you end them by writing the word "Forty." He said, "That is the way that newspaper people tell the editor that that is the end of the story…." But it's not, of course. Tradition has it that press releases often end with -30-, but you don't even really need that in the present day. I do dearly hope that Glenn ended some press releases with "Forty." Someone mangling something they unnecessarily did to look learned or professional is hilarious to me. It would be like if there was a conversation over a CB radio and the guy on the other end was like, "I'm heading over the bridge," and then Glenn nods at you knowingly and pics up the handset, and you're expecting him to say "10-4" but instead he says, "8-73, good buddy."
After that incident, people were constantly ending their emails to me by writing "Forty."
At one point I was posting about Glenn every other day and he was coming back at me on his blog and it was just delightful. And then one day I got done reading one of his posts and I was getting ready to dissect it with my reply, and a question arose in my mind, long after it should have... "Oh, wait... is this guy retarded?" And I don't mean that in the clinical way where someone is developmentally slow, but usually sweet and guileless. Because he clearly wasn't that. But i just mean like... well... if you had said to me, "You know, he went in for a brain transplant and the doctor completely forgot to bring the brain and so they put in a baked potato instead." I wouldn't have questioned you. I would have been like, "Oooooohhhh... alright, okay, now I understand." And I thought, "Should I really be arguing with a baked-potato brain?" So at that point I removed most of my posts about him and they are now completely lost in the aether. I don't know if that was the right way to handle it. But that's what I did.
But where is Glenn now? I haven't really seen him lecturing people on the forums. But I'm not on the forums much myself. So I went to his website. It's an absolute masterpiece of web design.
He really plays up being called "Mr. Hypnotist." Glenn, I'm not quite sure that's the compliment you think it is. When people are too disinterested to even learn your name, that's generally not a great sign. Nobody beams with pride when they hear, "Hey, Mr. Janitor, go mop up those feces." So when you hear, "Mr. Hypnotist, did you order buffalo wings?" or "Mr. Hypnotist, you're blocking the hallway," I'm not sure you should be promoting that. Would you put this on your business card:
Glenn Bishop The Man Called... "Hey you"
Here's a pic of Glenn performing his hypnotism show.
How much do you want to bet that's the audience and not the people on stage?
"Son, get up, there's a show going on."
"Please, Mr. Hypnotist, just wake me when it's over."
I particularly like the "About Us" page.
I like the question mark. Even they can't believe you're interested in reading more about Glenn. "Are you serious? You know there are like a billion pages on the web you could be reading, right?" It seems to say.
But I feel like his website hasn't been updated in years, and I was wondering if he was still around and doing okay. I googled him but just found a lot of his old posts and mentions on message boards and such. I thought maybe he had tried to revitalize his performing character with a new mature style and a sexy new name to match, so I googled "Bishop the Magishop," but got nothing.
Finally I searched for him on facebook, and I was not disappointed.
Is this... what is this? I mean what is it supposed to be? Is it supposed to be real? Is it real? It looks like one of my deranged readers mocked it up in photoshop as a goof. Like if I had a "Create a Glenn Bishop Marquee Contest," this would have been the winning entry. I'm so confused. What happened to this theater? Who designed that signage? It looks like a goddamned ransom note. Is it the Main Street Cinema? How could they possibly allow that to be the front of their fucking place of business? It looks like pictures of those theaters that bravely remained open during The Blitz. If some guy built that for you and he was like, "Okay, I'm done now." Wouldn't you be like, "Wait, wait, wait, this looks like total dogdick. Tear this down and do it right."
Does someone want to break it to Glenn that a cinema is where you show movies, not live magic shows? I mean, I suppose it's possible. Maybe in an old movie theater with a lot of room on the stage in front of the screen. But those old theaters hold many 100s of theater goers. You really "sold out" that theater, Glenn? A week in advance? That's huge news. Why is there no record of it anywhere? Also, just a quick business tip, you don't put "Sold Out" on the front of the box-office if there are still tickets left for another night, as you mention in your post. That kind of dissuades people from purchasing tickets.
And Glenn, why is there absolutely zero information on where this theater is and how to get tickets and all that on your facebook post? Why bother posting if you're going to leave everyone in the dark like that? Why is there no mention anywhere at all in the vast extent of the internet about these sold out shows? Did you hypnotize everyone at the end to forget they attended? I wouldn't put it past you, you little scamp!
Oh, Glenn, I've missed you and your antics so much. It's great to reconnect like this.
Forty.