Remora Driving

When I was young and poor I used the following driving rules to maximize the speed I could travel on American highways while at the same time pretty much eliminating the possibility of getting a speeding ticket and saving me money on gas.

1. First I asked a lot of friends and friends of friends in law enforcement how fast over the speed limit a driver had to go before cops would bother to stop them for speeding. The average was about 10 miles over the speed limit with the lowest answer being 5 miles over.

2. So when I'd drive on the highway I would start out going 5-10 miles over the speed limit.

3. If a semi-truck passed me I would immediately jump behind the truck and start going whatever speed he was doing. So, maybe he's 15 miles over the speed limit. I just follow him at that speed.

4. If another semi-truck passes the both of us, I fall in line behind that one. And I just continue on doing this every time a semi-truck passes me and the truck I'm with, until eventually I'm attached to the fastest truck on the highway. Late at night that would often mean going 30 or 40 miles above the speed limit. 

I named this style of driving after the remora fish and it's relationship with sharks.

The benefits to driving like this are these:

--  You are essentially taking advantage of the trucker's radar detector/CB-based trucker knowledge of knowing where the cops are. 

-- Even if the truck your attached to is just a mad-man who isn't paying attention to where the police are and you drive 100 mph past a cop, it doesn't matter for you. A moving violation for a commercial vehicle is a much bigger fish for the cop than a remora like you. Let the trucker get busted and you just slow down and restart the process as described above.

-- You get much better gas mileage by when you're drafting behind a truck. Anywhere from 20% to 45% better gas mileage depending on how willing you are to smash into the back of an 18-wheeler.

I have no idea if truck drivers mind you doing this at all. I've never had an issue with it. I suppose if a bunch of trucks boxed me in then slowed down to a stop and dragged me out of my car I'd just go hyper-queer on the them, C.B. Savage-style, and gargle their nuts. (Remora fish are also known as suckerfish.)

If you don't know C.B. Savage, you have to listen to this 1970s work of art.