We're STILL #1!

This is an update on a post I first did 10 years ago. And guess what?! We still got it, guys!!!

What entertainers are most likely to be child molesters or associated with child molesters?

Google search results:

  1. magician + "child molester" = 264,000 results
  2. dancer + "child molester" = 245,000 results*
  3. comedian + "child molester" = 233,000 results
  4. actor + "child molester" = 195,000 results
  5. singer + "child molester" = 148,000 results* 
  6. "porn star" + "child molester" = 128,000 results
  7. juggler + "child molester" = 81,500 results
  8. clown + "child molester" = 59,400 results 
  9. "celebrity impersonator" + "child molester" = 30,600 results*
  10. ventriloquist + "child molester" = 24,800 results
  11. "one man band" + "child molester" = 6,460 results
  12. "knife thrower" + "child molester" = 1,050 results
  13. "plate spinner" + "child molester" = 54 results

* I'm guessing these all got the "Michael Jackson bump."

Guys, "magician" more than doubled priest + "child molester" (104,000)! Priests!!!

We're 1000 away from teacher + "child molester" (265,000). And teachers have to deal with those tempting little bottoms every day. We get a crack at them maybe once a year. And it's usually at a party, with a bunch of other people around. That's a high stress environment for a molester!

It puts a whole new spin on some of those "compliments" magicians get. 

"I wish the kids were here...." What's left unspoken is, "because you just reminded me I need to keep a closer eye on them."

"I wouldn't want to play cards with you!" they say. "Because that might mean you're in my house, in raping distance of my children," they mean.

There's no good way to look at those numbers. Either it reflects reality, and this hobby does attract creeps. Or maybe it doesn't reflect reality. And that's good news for the kids. But it's not great news for magicians. Oh, you just seem like child molesters. Well, that's great. But who could blame anyone for finding magicians disturbing? What with their pathetic obsession with keeping secrets, and their desire to be seen as possessing powers they don't really have, of course magicians come off as anti-social weirdos. And it's not that big of a stretch to say, "Yeah... I can see this guy masturbating to a Gymboree catalog."