Gardyloo #48

From reader C.H.

"After you mentioned Beck and Card in yesterday's post I was reminded of something I've been meaning to tell you. I put that trick in my rotation of effects at the restaurant where I work a couple weeks after that issue came out. It's such a fun routine to perform and I everyone seemed to really enjoy it. After about a week of performing it regularly, the manager of the restaurant pulled me aside and said I could only do that trick at certain times for certain audiences because some groups were getting so rowdy just from the set-up of that trick and it was disturbing other customers. I thought you'd find that amusing."

Having seen this trick in action in a restaurant setting, I don't doubt that at all. It's one of the rare tricks that makes me wish I performed more for small groups of strangers because I think it's pretty much perfect in that respect. And the inherent comedy in the build up to the effect (comedy that doesn't require any corny lines or jokes) is very strong.

Also the final change of their card to your license (or GLOMM membership card, as in the gif below) is always a great moment. My friend who created this trick has a book's worth of material that is equally as strong. An effect or two of his will be in Magic For Young Lovers. Beck and Card is in The JAMM #3.


JM Beckers writes:

"Your latest posts have pushed me into a strong dilemma: I resisted the idea of letting google into my house, but now I feel urged to do so. Maybe I can just use it to show my friends why I actually never keep the thing online."

Honestly, this is a good idea. What I mean is, having a Google Home sitting on your coffee table disconnected is an even better lead-in to the Google Home Word Reveal, than having one set-up and ready to go. Its presents an unanswered question that even more naturally flows into the routine. "Why do I have this if I'm not going to plug it in? Well, let me show you."

Of course, doing it that way only makes sense if you're performing for a guest who you see infrequently. That way you can leave it out and act like you just got it, tried it out, and disconnected it. But for family or someone you see a lot it makes more sense to to keep it connected, that way you don't seem like a weirdo with a disconnected speaker/virtual assistant thing always on his end table.

No, this isn't magic. But yes, it is still kind of magic. 

Kevin Pegram, aka "Angelo Colletie" has been kicked out of The Global League of Magicians and Mentalists, because he just can't stay away from the young kids.

Kevin Pegram.jpeg

This pasty sack-of-shit is a repeat sex offender with 21 convictions, including having sex with a 12-year-old who he met while performing magic at a restaurant's "family night" back in 2002

He got out of jail in 2015 and you might say, "Andy, he paid his dues, he should be free to live his life." Ok. Sure. But if that's your history, don't go changing your name and getting a job at another restaurant's "Family Fun Night." It's not a good look. 

(Also, Fox8, you don't need to say "freelance magician." The "freelance" part is sort of a given. "Oh, you mean you're not the staff magician for Nabisco? I just assumed you were full-time here.")

Look, Kevin/Angelo, we're all hoping there aren't new accusations other than you violating the sex offender statute by putting yourself in a position where you can be a creep around kids again. I won't hold my breath on that, but maybe it's the case. And maybe you'll be out again soon. If so, can you please put the magic act on hold? For the sake of us out here who aren't using magic to seduce pre-teens? Please? It's not like the world is demanding your talent. I just watched you on video. You're a grade-A dullard stumbling through tricks with zero charisma like 95% of the other magicians in the world. You won't be missed. Do something useful with your time. Volunteer at an animal shelter. (I don't have to tell you not to fuck the animals, do I?)

Oh christ.

"I also do a lot of street magic. Sort of like... on the streets of unsuspecting people."

Oh... I have no doubt that you spend a lot of time lurking on the streets of unsuspecting people. Peeping in windows. Sneaking in the garage and rubbing your dick on their bike seats. 

What is this video for, by the way? I'm guessing it was a submission for America's Got Talent or Fool Us or something. And you were like, "Hmmm... I wonder where would be the best place to demonstrate how I do street magic for unsuspecting people... I got it! In the woods with no one around!"

"And if I rub this hole just right."

Bitch, you haven't rubbed a hole right in your life. I promise you. Your inability to rub holes "just right" is the one character trait that oozes from you as you meander through these woods pretending to pick up discarded Dr. Peppers.

"The next time before you decide to recycle cans, think of me instead." 

Huh? That's your big closing line? Did you work on that? I pray it doesn't come out you have Scripting Magic in your library or Pete McCabe is going to jump in front of a bus. Let me try to unpack this. The next time before I decide to recycle cans, I should think of you instead. Instead of what? Instead of deciding to recycle cans? Ok... I think of you... and then? What do I do with this can in my hand? I'm confused. Hey, you were in prison for over a decade. In all that time you didn't think to crack a book and figure out how sentences work?

Here, I'll punch up your script and we can reshoot this when you're out.

"Hi, I'm Kevin Pegram, aka Angelo Colletie. And you know, trying to stay 500 yards from the nearest school while prowling the neighborhoods looking for girls whose brains have yet to fully develop because you can't trick an adult woman into being attracted to you sexually can make a man mighty thirsty. But what am I going to do? Carry around a six pack with me and risk having them clang together while I'm pulling some tweens panties from the clothesline behind her house, alarming everyone of my presence? No thank you. What I do is just look for an empty can and then use my magic to bring it back in time.

[Here's where you do your shitty, unconvincing version of Healed and Sealed.]

There you have it! I hope the next time you see some worthless trash, you'll think of me."