Rick Lax responded to the Four Scoops of Vanilla video on his facebook page. A number of his friends took me to task for being angry and "jealous" of Rick. For those who know me, you can imagine how delighted I was by this. But I was confused too. How anyone could watch that dopey video and think it was anything other than me joking around is beyond me. But whatever.
Hey, everyone, this is why we can't hang out in real life. I can't have you getting all upset at me for calling you a dull whitey or something. I need people who come from more rugged stock. But I told Rick I wouldn't talk about him anymore so I'll drop it.
I will say that his defense of being "dull" wasn't great. He said in an email to me and on his facebook that he tries to be loud and energetic so how could he be dull? I hate to break it to you, but being loud and energetic is a dull person's #1 trick. It's much easier than being funny or interesting. Howler monkeys and garbage trucks are also loud and energetic, but I don't want to have a conversation with them.
Let me reiterate: I don't think Rick is particularly dull. Or any of the guys in that video. I was referring to them as bland honkeys because as a group they don't present the most diverse or compelling portrait, and the joke of the bit was that it was an extra drain on my psychic powers to tell them apart.
Fuck it, I'm not going to footnote this shit for you people. Don't read the site if you don't like it. It's very simple.
Now let's contrast the reaction to that post with the reaction of another magician I wrote about long ago. His name is Zach Waldman and well... I don't want to spoil the post if you don't know where it's going. Enjoy...
[Note: When URLs to pages from 10+ years ago no longer work in these advent calendar posts, I'll do my best to link to a picture of that page as it existed at the time.]
Tuesday, May 03, 2005
Share the Magic
According to The Magic Castle's performance schedule, Zach Waldman will be appearing in the W.C. Fields Bar on May 9th thru the 15th. That's great news! I don't know Zach but he seems like a very giving man.
Why, here's his website. Check out that great picture. Roll up for the mystery tour, right? [Edit 2015: I don't know what picture I was referring to. His site is very different now and the homepage pic isn't on the Internet Archive.] And check out all the famous people Zach has performed for, like rocker Vince Neil and Howie from the Backstreet Boys. Backstreet's back, ALRIGHT!
Now, it's great to have all those big-time celebrity friends, but I have a feeling Zach is friendly to the regular guy too. Like, say you were at a magic convention and you really wanted to practice a move for your cups and balls routine where you false transfer the ball, pick up your wand, and rattle it around in the cup. If you wanted to practice that move but you didn't have a cup, I bet Zach would let you use his cup. He'd let you rattle around your wand in his cup for as long as you like. And he wouldn't want to get involved or bother you or anything, he'd just be content to watch. That's a cool guy.
What was I going on about?
Oh right. If you're near the Magic Castle make sure you go and watch Zach next week.
Or if you have a corporate event, you might want to consider hiring him so you can watch some great magic.
Or, barring that, you can just go here and watch him watch some guy fuck his wife.
Ahh, I love that post.
And just to be clear, that really is the same dude. Zach Waldman is the "loser husband" sitting in the chair in that cuckold porn. It's not just some guy with similar hair.
The best part to all of this was Zach's reaction. He sent me an email soon after I wrote it to say how much he enjoyed it and how funny he thought the site was. To be fair, he was probably stoned out of his fucking gourd on some fine ass stanky dank cheeba, but he was still coherent enough to realize the post was all in good fun. If you're curious, he was paid $60 to be in that video, and no, that's not really his wife.
Zach, if you ever read this post, please let me know if I can find a copy of that video anywhere. I promise to jerk off to it. And there's like maybe three readers of this site I'd jerk off to, so you should feel honored.
[You might wonder how the hell I ever found this. Well, I had written a post that said next week was FMW, but I didn't explain what it meant. It stood for Free Magic Week (because I was giving away a bunch of magic that week). But before I explained it, someone emailed me and said something like, "Does FMW stand for Fuck My Wife? If so you should do a post on this Zach Waldman video."]