One of the mainstays of the old Magic Circle Jerk site was giving away magic. I would buy prizes, friends would give me things, magicians, dealers, and artists like Todd Lassen would donate goods for me to give away to lucky readers for winning dumb contests like guessing how much Doug Conn weighs or writing the most disturbing Magic Cafe related erotic fiction. Good wholesome fun for the whole family.
Well, a friend of the Jerx has donated a brand new, unopened EVP by Alan Rorrison that I am going to give away. If you don't know about EVP, here you go. I think it's a genuinely freaky effect. I'm not sure I would ever perform it, because aren't ghosts super spooky? I'm not sure if I've mentioned that, but I get all scurred when the subject of ghosts come up. They're our dead relatives guys!!! Not something to be the subject of fun magic! So here is how I would probably use this gimmick. I'm pretty sure it can be used this way, but I don't own it so I don't really know. (Scroll down to where it says "Better News" if you just want to know how to win.)
(For this effect and for future reference, all my performance ideas, unless otherwise noted, take place in a casual situation, ideally one-on-one, on a couch, with a female (or whatever you're into), pre-coitus.)
- Have her think of something and then reveal it using whatever method you like.
- Say, "Can I tell you a secret? Look, you can't mention this to anyone because it's kind of the foundation of mindreading. I didn't read your mind just then. You read mine. I'm serious. When you thought of the candle, you did it because I sent that thought to your mind and you picked up on. This is how almost all of these types of tricks work. It's nearly impossible to pull a thought from someone's mind because we spend almost every waking moment guarding those thoughts and only letting specific ones out to the world by what we say or do. But at the same time, you're constantly trying to pick up on what other people are thinking. You're scanning everything to try and find out what's really going on behind the eyes of your friends, bosses, lovers, etc. So it's much easier for me to give you something you want rather than take something from you that your natural inclination is to hide. So I send you the thought, 'think of the candle.' You pick up on that and end up thinking of that. Then I tell you what you're thinking... the thought I told you to think. Simple! The only mindreading going on was all done by you. It's actually pretty easy once you get good at being open with your thoughts. That's the hard part on my end; letting down my guard."
- "But at this point I'm pretty good at it. Especially because we're both here together, in the same room, we can see each other's faces, touch each other, easily hear the tone of each other's voices. And it doesn't hurt that you're naturally so smart and perceptive. That makes it relatively simple to send you my thoughts. What I'm working on now is trying to do it with someone who's not here. And that's next to impossible. Do you want to try it?"
- Ask her to bring out her phone and pick one of her contacts. Tell her to choose someone she thinks might be good for this. Maybe a relative or a close-friend.
- Now force something on your spectator (whatever you're set up to reveal via EVP). Or don't force it. Just pull a ceramic turtle off a bookshelf or something. "This is the thought I'll try and send her."
- You use your spectator's phone to call her friend. And you have your spectator film this whole thing on your phone.
- You and your spectator explain what's going on to her friend. You say, "Okay, Suzanne, in a moment I'm going to try and send you a thought. Just try and remember anything you hear. It might sound garbled or might sound a little faint like it's just in the back of your head somewhere. But just be open and try and hear it."
- You sit there silently for a few moments.
- "Yeah, I don't have a great feeling about this. Suzanne, do you know what we're thinking of here?"
- Suzanne says, "It's a turtle."
- Your friend freaks the fuck out and asks Suzanne how she knew that.
- Suzanne says, "What do you mean? I heard him say, 'It's a turtle.'" Your friend says, "He never said that. I swear." Suzanne doesn't believe it. So you say goodbye to Suzanne and have your friend send her the video she's been taking from your phone.
- Your friend's mind is blown. Perhaps half-way across the country Suzanne is now getting the video on her phone that shows the conversation and shows you sitting with your eyes and mouth closed at the exact moment she would have sworn you had said, "It's a turtle." Her mind is now blown too.
- You've made a great impression on your friend and someone very close to her.
My grandma is deathly ill and I've been given power of attorney over her finances. This old bag is loaded, and I just cleared out her account. 28 million dollars. Finally... FINALLY... I have the money I need to produce my magnum opus: The Magic Cafe: The Movie. It's going to be amazing. It's going to document the formative years of the cafe. I have got some inside dirt on it, and it's just the most amazing story. It's all drugs and violence and fucking and sucking -- every sick twisted thing you can imagine. Not only that but I'm investing a ton of money into a smell-o-vision technology for the film. Whenever Steve Brooks is fucking on screen (and in my first draft this happens 16 times), the theater will be infused with what an insider has told me is a true-to-life scent for this scenario. (We're mimicking it by pumping in the smell from a vat of rotten Moo-Shu Pork.)
Here's where I need your help, and here's how you win the EVP. I'd like your thoughts on casting. Here is the Cafe staff circa 2003. These are the roles we need to cast. So what I need from you is to suggest what actors should play those roles. Send your casting suggestions to me in an email. You can make a suggestion for one staff member or for all of them. I will be taking submissions until June 10th. If I use one of your suggestions you will receive an entry to win the EVP. So the more suggestions you make, the better chance you have. I am not limiting this to well-known actors, but if you have an unknown, make sure you link me to his IMDB page or something so I know who you're talking about.