How to Hear More Farts

When I had an office job I would do this all the time. I'd be in the bathroom doing my business, which for me usually meant screwing around with that floating dice illusion or something equally stupid. (Yes, this is really me doing it in my company bathroom.)

And I'd hear someone come in and sit in the stall next to me but then I would hear no noise from the stall. That was a big clue that this dude had a real doozy brewing in his gut and wanted some privacy before unleashing it. So what I would do is leave my stall, wash my hands, then open and shut the door. But I wouldn't leave. 

Thinking he was alone, the guy would unload a devastating volley of shit and flatulence and when the dust settled and all was quiet I would let out a little "heh-heh-heh" laugh to let him know there was an audience for that symphony. Then the guy, not knowing who the other person in the bathroom was, would spend the rest of the day not being able to look any other guy in the eye.