Two Story Deck Tricks

Here are a couple updated ideas from my old Magic Circle Jerk blog for some fake story deck tricks. These will be good for anyone attending the Genii Convention this week.

Scam the Bellend

Go up to someone and tell them you're working on a new story deck trick that starts from a shuffled pack. This should intrigue them. Ask them to shuffle and hand you their deck of cards. This has to be done with a borrowed deck.

You tell them that you can create a story from any shuffled deck after running through it just twice. Spread through the deck and cull these three cards to the top:

The Jack of Spades or Jack of Hearts
Any 8, 9, or 10
Any Queen

Close the deck and act like you're thinking of stuff. Then spread through again and cull these three cards to the top:

Any Ace
Any Two
Any number card

So, from the top down you have: Any number card, any two, any ace, any queen, any 8-10, and the JH or JS. 

Now you tell your story:

Did I tell you about the time I went to that club on 5th street? [Name whatever number you happen to turn over as the street. Congratulations, your story deck routine is already as clever as every other one.]

While I was there I felt a rumbling in my stomach and knew I had to drop a deuce. [Turn over the two and drop it from a small height onto the table.]

Just when I finished wiping my A-hole, [The ace]

This pretty lady comes into my stall. [The queen]

But I quickly realized it was no lady, it was actually a drag queen [Drag the queen across the table]

And he only had one thing in mind. To take all 10 inches [Use whatever number 8-10 comes up here.]

Of his one-eyed trouser snake, and shove it down my throat. [Turn over the one-eyed jack and point to the one eye as you say this.]

Do you know what happened next? [Turn over the top few cards towards yourself as if you're trying to remember the order of what's to come. Wait for the person to say that they don't know what happens next.]

He shot his load all over my fucking face. [Spring the deck all over the person's face. Then walk away.]

A Card Mystery

This one is much easier to remember and perform. Again tell someone you have a story deck trick that uses a shuffled deck and ask to borrow theirs. Once you have it, cut or cull an Ace to the top.

"This is the story of an Ace detective [Turn over the ace] who was hired to solve the Mystery of the Bent Over Idiot. Do you know the secret to the Mystery of the Bent Over Idiot?"

Wait for them to say "no," then cut the deck into two parts and slowly spring the cards from each hand all over the floor while looking the person dead in the eye. 

"Mystery solved," you say, and walk away.

They might not get it at first, but as they pick their cards up off the floor they'll eventually realize that they are the Bent Over Idiot.

Also, Genii Convetion-eers, remember to do this to indicate to others you're part of our secret club, and to find instant stooges without the need to actually speak to them beforehand.