My Disclaimer

I don't follow these sorts of things too closely, but apparently a magician went up against a dog in Britain to see who was the most talented or something? Well, the dog won. And now he gets a vote in parliament, if I'm understanding things correctly? (Black Mirror, season 3)

Meanwhile the magician did the bill in lemon and got busted for the big gaping hole in his lemon. That's too bad. However, I applaud him for using such a unique, personal piece as bill in lemon in order to try and win this huge competition. What a bold, brave decision. What says creative and original more than putting a bill in a lemon? And talk about emotionally resonant for the audience! We don't perform the bill in lemon because it's easy to jab a bill in a lemon and there are a bunch of jokes floating around for the effect and it's a guaranteed way to burn 10 minutes. We perform it because of how the audience connects to it. What person hasn't held a $100 bill and secretly wished it was in some citrus fruit instead? That's one of those desires that is almost instinctive. You see it pop up in every culture. And that's why we perform that completely non-arbitrary effect.

But I have to be honest, I'm a little afraid that once the stage-show I'm working on goes up that people are going to see me make a bill appear in a lemon and then think I'm a true sorcerer. Not to mention what they'll think after I make the egg disappear and reappear in the bag. I can just see them now, "Excuse me, all-powerful one, can you remove the egg that is the tumor from the bag that is my husband's lungs?" This is the curse of being such an amazingly convincing magician or mentalist. 

So I'm working on what my disclaimer will be to open my show. Below you can listen to part of my rehearsal that I recorded today to give you a sense of the disclaimer as it stands now. I just really hope it's enough to counteract the power of my amazing performance.