A Magician in Barnes and Noble

Today I went to Barnes and Noble. 

I don't know about the rest of the world, but coloring books for adults are a big thing in the US these days because... well... I haven't the foggiest fucking idea why, they just are. People say they are relaxing and meditative which I guess makes sense. But take up knitting and at least you'll end up with a scarf when you're done. 

Now that I think of it, I bet this is the reason why a lot of us will sit with a book of card magic working through tricks we have no intention of ever performing for people. Thinking of it that way makes it feel a little less masturbatory, but all the same, I think if you're the type of person who practices and never performs you kind of owe it to yourself to actually give someone the experience of the effect. But whatever, that's a talk for a different day.

I think there's a market for the Magic Coloring Book effect for adults now. In fact, I would probably go all the way and use one of the ones with a truly adult theme like this one

Whoops, my bad. That last one is actually from the Donny and Marie Coloring Book from the 70s.

Anyway, I'd come out with my new adult coloring book and flip through the uncolored pages. Then I'd furrow my brow and get all upset like, "This is going to take me forever to get these to the point where I could jerk-off to these images." Then I'd pull out the Abracadildo and tap the book and show the pages were now all colored in. Then I'd hand the coloring book to someone and ask them to open it to any page and they'd find the book was stuck shut. Kind of like Paul Harris' Solid Deception, except with an adult coloring book and ejaculate.

I thought this was going to be a Steve Brooks action figure.

Oooohh-ho-ho!!! Man, I can't wait to find out what juicy secrets this book contains. This is going to be so crazy. Oh, I bet there's some stuff about his anti-semitism... maybe he has secret anti-semitic messages hidden in the park or something? What could these exciting secrets be?

OH MY GOD!!!! I never thought it would be something that provocative! This is crazy! If you have Disney stock I would dump that shit because that's going to be worthless once dirty little secrets like these get revealed.

My one purchase was the Taschen magic book which was in the discount section for $20. If you don't have it and there's a Barnes and Noble near you, go track it down. It's beautiful and inspiring and one of those things you can have around your house that many of your guests will take an interest in and it provides a natural segue into performing (if you so choose).

And I can't wait until Taschen puts together their book on magic from the 1950s to the present day. I'm really hoping they get in touch with me to write it. I would love to be able to describe the stunning and romantic visual images of modern magic.